Disclaimer: I am not a fashion expert (this is a joke post and is just for fun, please don’t come for me if I insult your team’s jersey) and these are in no particular order, all teams will be reviewed in time (no one is safe)
1. Manchester City
Home kit - Simple, sometimes less is more you know? We love the classic sexy sky blue colour. Solid kit, 9/10
Away kit - Look I'm confused, you're confused, we're all confused, not entirely sure why it's a gradient from yellow to...pink? Does look like ice cream but who doesn't like ice cream. Could be worse, 5/10
Third kit - Again very simple, not as sexy of a colour as the sky blue and so unfortunately does lose some points. Nice how the detailing on the sleeves references the home and away kit colours, 6.5/10
2. Birmingham city
Home kit - I can't criticise this shirt because there's maple syrup on it and a) I fucking love maple syrup and b) I don't want to anger any Canadians. Not sure why Birmingham city is sponsored by maple syrup but let's not question it. You could say this shirt is sweet (sorry), 7/10
Away kit - That charcoal thooo. Yes Birmingham, I LIKE this. It's simple but it WORKS (thank god they got rid of the yellow kits), 8.5/10
Third kit - I don't think one exists? Who needs one when you have that beautiful charcoal away kit, my hometown is winning in the jersey department right now (the requirements to win are just to be associated with maple syrup and/or food in general, so you know, not the most demanding challenge)
3. Tottenham Hotspur
Home kit - I get the vibes that this shirt has just had to miss his son's birthday again due to a last minute business meeting, he never watches his daughters dance recitals and his wife is pissed. Don't ask me to explain. Nice gradient tho, 6/10
Away kit - The business man when he was young and fun and would be the life of the party. Another nice blue shade (not as good as the sky blue though sorry). I'm somehow attracted to the sleeves? 8/10
Third kit - "Can I copy your homework?" "Yeah just make sure you change it a bit so they can't tell" = Tottenham to Manchester City probably. This sky blue is looking scarily similar. Still sexy tho, 7/10
4. Reading
Home kit - I see that rainbow heart reading!! Gay rights babey!! I do actually quite like the blue and white stripes of the reading kit, very unique, very nice, extra points for the gay (obviously), 8.5/10
Away kit - I couldn’t find any pictures of the women in the away kit so I’m just gonna presume it will be the same as the men’s but with a different sponsor. I feel like I should like this shirt but I just, don’t? Reading’s home kit is already so unique that they probably will hardly wear the away shirt anyway and I for one don’t mind. I can’t pick out what it is about the shirt but it just, underwhelms. Sorry Reading, 5/10
Third kit - Again as far as I can tell, there isn’t a third kit (which is fine because the home kit is more than enough for me)
Described by former England coach Sampson as “one of the best young players in Europe “ . Staniforth is normally used off the bench and is able to provide a good performance in the later parts of a match
