#bdb chrono

[beyonddespairsboundsone-blog]

Ghost | Eliot & Kuroi | Endgame

{ tw suicidal ideation just to be safe }

It had been perhaps a month since returning to reality. A long month, where Eliot struggled just to drag himself out of his bedroom to shower in the mornings. For the first week or so, Eliot simply waited for Mitsuo to wake up. After that exchange, he had no choice but to go home, to return to society...

He never touched his blog. He didn't so much as visit a movie theater. Really, he hadn't left his house in two weeks. He couldn't sleep despite the amount of time he spent in bed. He had to force himself to eat. It was all he could do to keep himself away from the pills in the medicine cabinet and the knives on the kitchen counter. Eventually, his frantic mother suggested he reconnect with one of his classmates... and kept suggesting it. Over and over. Finally, Eliot caved. What choice did he have?

He didn't know how to contact them, but he knew how to use the internet. Hope's Peak was helpful, too. It took a little while, but he found him.

Standing outside the mochi shop, Eliot realized he had never felt so small. He shouldn't have been doing this. No one wanted to see him again, especially not Kuroi. He was only going to upset someone he cared so strongly for. Still... if he said he wasn't desperate to make sure Kuroi was alright, he'd be a horrible liar.

He put his hand on the door and paused for a second or two, a span of time that seemed to last forever but passed so quickly. Don't fuck this up, Eliot. Don't start crying. Definitely don't fucking break down on him as soon as he looks at you.

He swallowed thickly as he pulled open the door. Unsteady legs carried him into the shop, and shaking hands formed fists around the strap that crossed his chest. Why did he still carry this bag around? He didn't need his iPad. It was more of a security blanket than anything these days.

He glanced around the shop, but couldn't keep his gaze on anything for very long. What if Kuroi wasn't even here? What if he was, and he'd already noticed Eliot but hurried off to avoid him? This was such a stupid idea. He should just go home...

[beyonddespairsboundsone-blog]

reconcile | Eliot & Mitsuo | Endgame

They expected him to go home. Go home and... what? Return to normal? There was no normal anymore. All of that was gone. His blog, his readers, the movies he critiqued... That was nothing. Pointless. None of it mattered anymore. Sure, there were his parents, but... how could he face them as he was now? He was a disgrace. He was a wreck. He was a murderer.

After getting the O.K. from all the people in charge, Eliot contacted his parents to let them know there was something he had to do before he could go back home. They, of course, protested, but he hardly cared. They would still be there when he was ready. Before that, he had to find someone.

When he was brought to the chamber containing Mitsuo, Eliot pulled up a chair. He was going to wait however long he had to. He had no intention of leaving this building until he got to get something off of his heart. When he slept, he slept in that same chair. When he ate, it was food from a vending machine or a cafeteria. He was never away from Mitsuo for longer than an hour or two.

After a while, it almost felt like he would be waiting for Mitsuo forever. Then, while Eliot was dozing off, the pod opened.

Gaping, Eliot stood up and stepped back, allowing the scientists and doctors to attend to Mitsuo. The second the boy sat up, Eliot burst into tears. He turned away and covered his mouth, gasping to get a good breath in. He had done this. It was his fault Mitsuo wasn't at home with his parents and Ryoko. He killed him. Yes, Eliot was far from himself that night. Yes, it was an accident he tried to fix. It didn't matter.

Once the doctors allowed him to see Mitsuo properly, Eliot had pulled himself together... for the most part. He wiped at his eyes as he approached, lowering himself onto his knees beside the bed. Sitting in the chair didn't show enough remorse. He pressed his fists to his thighs, and more tears ran down his cheeks. "M... M-Mitsuo..." He bowed his head, choking back a sob. He shouldn't have been the one crying. He shouldn't even be taking up this much of Mitsuo's time.

God, he hated himself so much.

[beyonddespairsboundsone-blog]

ode to sleep | Eliot | Endgame reaction

The mastermind trial was a whirlwind, to say the least. Eliot felt incredibly helpless throughout the entire thing, and he couldn't for even a few seconds shake the massive pit of hopelessness in his gut. He wanted to die. It was highly unfortunate that even if he died right then and there, he might still wake up. What a fuckin joke.

At some point, he went on autopilot. He went through the motions, doing just enough to scrape by. He didn't really care about any of this. Often, he would glance at Kuroi or at Ryuu, but aside from that... he could hardly be bothered with any of this. Honestly, it didn't quite register as real. Yes, technically it truly was not real, but this was definitely his consciousness, and when he woke up from this, he would feel the same. Everything would be the same, more or less.

And wake up he did.

Again, he went through the motions to get by, with the additional concern of wow, my hands work. He stared at his hands as he curled his fingers, uncurled them, made a fist. He had control again. He'd forgotten what that was like. With a quick glance at Ryuu, he decided to use his powers for good instead of punching Ryuu hard in his god-awful face. He looked at Kuroi, not far away from him. He wanted to take his hand. He didn't.

Here they all were: alive, presumably safe, traumatized. A motley crew of mixed emotions. Some of these people were his friends once, briefly. It was so strange to consider. He had endured so much with them, he'd grown close to some of them... yet here he was on the other side of it with nothing left. Nothing but a strong desire to slip into nothingness.

The moment they were allowed to disperse, Eliot did so silently. He had no intention of burdening the others with his presence anymore. They had nothing to say to him, anyway - and if they did, it wouldn't be anything pleasant. There was nothing to be said; there was nothing for him here at all. It was over, but nothing felt like it had ended for him. He shut his eyes to squeeze the tears out as he left, not so much as glancing back.

[beyonddespairsboundsone-blog]

Setting Sail, Coming Home | Suzuka Epilogue | Open

There are a lot of thing that could describe Suzuka Sawamura. She's talkative, loud, oblivious, emotional, and kind. At least, that's what she used to describe herself as. 

She hadn't really paid attention during the trial. Not like she found anything of importance when investigating the well. Takumi wasn't her friend either. She didn't really get to know him. So it didn't matter. Right?

As Suzuka walks through the hallway, she tries to recall what exactly happened. What the chairman said made...some sense. But not really. Sort of. To be honest, all Suzuka wants is to sleep. 

She doesn't even realize she's about to walk into someone until she practically crashes into them.

[beyonddespairsboundsone-blog]

Refocused Lens / Ai / Endgame Reaction / Closed for Mitsuo

Watching the mastermind trial from afar had made Ai feel...strange. On the one hand, it was satisfying to see the assumed-jackass reveal his actual jackassery, and seeing him get what was coming to him was much appreciated. On the other hand, Ai couldn't bring herself to feel much for all the Kaiyou residents making it out alive. Yeah, sure, yay, they lived, but what about everyone in Youkai? Was there something about it that kept them from leaving this simulation? Her dread about being unable to return home even overshadowed all the questions she had about what Kumi had talked about. She knew she probably should've been feeling relieved that the mastermind was no longer a threat and Kumi was headed back to where they came from (even if they had some strange catgirl on their heels), but she couldn't bring herself to be anything but nervous. Thankfully, the prince that had freed the others came for all of them soon enough. After she had ascertained that she was not, in fact, actually wet, and was actually awake, Ai got to walking around the area. She couldn't be a good paparazza if she couldn't climb around anymore, and her muscles had been too at rest for quite some time. As she ambled around, she noticed a familiar face, standing there, with a familiar expression. Ai was surprised to see Mitsuo looking so alarmed, but she could understand why. Even she had to admit that this was quite a sudden turn of events. Approaching him with slow, even steps, Ai gave a little wave to him. "Mitsuo-san. Are you alright? Anything specific bothering you?"

[beyonddespairsboundsone-blog]

i say "fight" | ryuu | endgame | open

The end of the trial was weird.

Like, to word it lightly, it was weird. He had no idea what was happening, really, beyond them all being right over Takumi being the mastermind. He didn't get this whole business over Kumi being from a different world (what the fuck?) and Maru suddenly being older and not having a list (what the fuck?) but he mostly kept silent as everyone went through their speeches.

Words. Words, words, words.

And then Takumi was executed. He wasn't even sure what went on there, either. He spun and then he died. But not from the spinning. Someone else was there at some point.

Who knows.

Ryuu was too tired to care.

They woke back up, and everyone was... alive. All of them, even Takumi, which made him wonder what the point even was of that execution, and he was back in his stuffy school uniform. The worst of all the things that had happened that day.

Sachiko was okay though. Ai was alive. And, as much as he shut everyone else out as the third trial happened, he was still a semblance of relieved to see Mitsuo, Bria, Rosario, Akihiko. Those people.

"... Geez. What a fuckin' day."

[beyonddespairsboundsone-blog]

Blurred | Mitsuo | Endgame Reaction | OPEN

It was all a blur. 

There was water, and then lights, and then lots of noise. 

But it was all a blur.

The man’s words went right through his head, and he just stared back, saying nothing. He couldn’t say a thing. All he could do was look around for someone familiar. Anyone would do at this point. Anything to ground himself in this crazy new world, away from Kumisan and Blub-san and that nice witch.

So he looked around as he was ushered along, looking for anyone, everyone. He wanted to cry out, but nothing came out. Someone hug this boy and tell him everyone will be alright.

[beyonddespairsboundsone-blog]

And the misery fades away \\ Maria // Epilogue || open

So many nights in Kaiyou, so many days, so much happened. But she was alive, oxygen filling her lungs and her mind here. Back in the present with almost all of her classmates. She felt like she was home. She felt like she was alive. But something in Kaiyou had been lost and boy did she feel it. Something had been left behind. No it wasn't the "Dead" students. If she understood what the old man had said they would wake up fine. It wasn't her passion for videogames either, she'd played less since escaping but that was just because her Real 3Ds had some catching up to do with her simulated one. Maria Santiago left something behind in Kaiyou, and she wasn't sure she wanted it back. Because now she had more. She had Bria, she had experience overcoming literally the worst. She had....hope. So whatever she left behind could stay there. Rosario could stay in Kaiyou. She would thank Takumi given the chance. She hated him surely but it was because of him that she had grown into the girl she was now. As hard as it was to admit she was thankful to Takumi. Even if she wanted to strangle him for the shit he put them through. She was back at school now, occasionally she would attend class or leave her dorm for more than just food or Bria. The teachers were kinda lenient on attendance when she mentioned watching her friends die in front of her. So one day after everything had settled. And life returned to normal Maria was walking down the hall. She saw them. She'd barely seen much of anyone besides Bria since they returned. She smiled and without a second thought pulled them into a hug. What the heck Maria. "God you look So good. I haven't seen you in so long. Or it feels like so long. How are you holding up?" She let them out of the hug to give them just a smidge of breathing room. She was smiling. A genuine smile. Amazing Maria smiling like that.