i truly can’t be on here rn. last time i took a break i didn’t think to say anything until i logged back on to some very thoughtful check in messages. so. yeah. if you see this and care, and i thank you for caring, i’m doing that again. it’s just too anxious a time for too many vulnerable communities and i can’t take the romanticization of it. i get that fandom is for whatever you need it for so rn it is not for me and that’s fine. i’m furious and crying over having to choose isolation for the state sanctioned greater good over supporting my uninsured and exploited coworkers, my elders in our chinatowns, the houseless who no one fucking bothered to tell about the global fucking pandemic. they said we were our ancestors greatest dreams but i forgot we could endure their greatest fears too.