so uh yeah.. @christ-chan-official and I are expecting ❤🤰🏻
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@holyloved
so uh yeah.. @christ-chan-official and I are expecting ❤🤰🏻
if you would, please pray that God directs me to a job soon
I grew up in rapture culture. My parents would always tell me Jesus is coming soon and we should be ready. I heard stories/hypothesis on how people would be disappearing, what the mark of the beast would look like, on people being beheaded by guillotines - martyrs for God etc but "no worries! We won't be here for that. Jesus will take us away before that." I'm sure the left behind and tribulation movies didn't help with their outlook/belief on it all. I was a child, afraid I'd get my head chopped off by a guillotine.
As the years went on and the world got worse my parents "Jesus is coming back soon" only got stronger. 2017 my brother welcomed his first child and from there 4 others. 2020 hit in between it all and you can only imagine the fuel this added to my parents beliefs. In fact, my dad even "encouragingly" told my brother he'll never see his kids become teenagers because Jesus is coming back before then. ANY interaction I have with my parents nowadays, Jesus' return is always mentioned.
I lived in fear of whether or not I'd ever have my first kiss, get married or have my own kids. Constantly being reminded of Jesus coming back ANY day and how amazing it will be. Constantly having my hopes and dreams of a future dashed away as if it didn't matter. It didn't help that when I met my now husband in 2020 we were long distance. It was hard to hope for the above things when I was constantly hearing I probably wouldn't have them. In fact, I'm pretty sure I remember my parents practically hoping I wouldn't get married and pregnant, that Jesus would come back before then.
Now that I am married and pregnant of course they are super excited. But the Jesus, returning soon hasn't stopped. Just yesterday my father sent me a video on the government buying guillotines (I don't even know which government I didn't watch the video). Keep in mind I haven't really talked to my father much since september 2025 when he blew up at me and told me I need to learn people have feelings (that's another story). I responded to the video/message with something along the lines of "I'm really not interested in this. I would rather not add more fear and anxiety in my life." to which he followed up with:
"Sorry.....but its true....no need to fear you will be gone....and if you dont believe in the rapture.....thats ok you will soon have a pleasant surprise....night love you"
The confidence that HIS beliefs on this are the correct one is insane honestly. Don't even bother letting me know the verse on "no man knows the day or hour" my dad just uses that and correlates it to the feast of trumpets. The 2 day celebration held usually in September, we just don't know which of the 2 days Jesus will come back on. -_-
I just started my third trimester. Why my father would think this is encouraging to hear idk. Actually I do know. He's in his 60's, hasn't been able to hold a job down for a LONG time now and is too sick to work. He has lived his life; married, kids, grandkids. His life is near over to him all he HAS is to hope for Jesus' return.
Thing is.. for a long time I believed in what my parents said near as adamantly. Don't get me wrong either, I definitely believe we are living in the end days and Jesus is coming back soon. But Jesus was coming back soon 2000 years ago. In fact the word used in the Bible I believe means "swift" as in.. when He does return it will be quickly. What that looks like pre-tribulation, during the tribulation, post tribulation I don't know. My parents however are ADAMANT we won't go through the tribulation.
There's been times during my marriage I've near had a panic attack in store cause I couldn't find my husband; thinking he'd been "raptured" and I was left behind. Multiple times it's brought tears to my eyes because of the panic. My parents don't know this nor would they care or understand. They don't realize how their beliefs have messed me up. In fact I've felt like a "bad Christian" for being scared of what should be so exciting.
Over the last year and a half of being away from my parents and setting boundaries with them I've been healing. I've come to learn that my experience (and my brothers) isn't all that uncommon. Do I look forward to Jesus coming back some day, yes and no. Yes because it really would be amazing for so many reasons but no because "am I ready?" It's definitely something I'm working through.
I'm also working on just enjoying my life now. Not living in fear of missing out etc. I'm working on overcoming anxiety and being the best version of myself I can be through Christ. Trusting that He has everything in control.
I have my precalc final exam tomorrow aaaahh
When I was single I longed to be married. Of course people already married would give their "encouragement" and "advice" on it all. It never really made me feel confident that "my time would come". I mean it's "easy" for them to say all that when they're already married.
One thing I held onto however was the fact I LONGED to be married. If I was meant for singleness/celibacy, why was the desire to be married so strong? Scripture even says:
"...but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
- 1 Corinthians 7:9 (NKJV)
I think what people fail to see however are the verses before that:
"But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; "
-1 Corinthians 7:6-8 (NKJV)
For context Paul is talking about the principles of marriage. He actually starts this chapter by saying it is GOOD that a man never touch a woman.. BUT because of sexual immorality let them get married.
Singleness/celibacy, though not a commandment (Paul did state it was his opinion), is BETTER than marriage. It demonstrates a ton of self-control and allows you to focus on God and others more so than if you were married. Being married doesn't mean you can't focus on God however, your attention will be "split" by wanting to please your spouse and (if you have kids) take care of your kids etc.
Marriage IS beautiful. Where two people come together as one and (when done with the right intent), grow together more and more in Christ. It is better to have someone pick you up when you fall down.. you just don't NEED that someone to be a spouse.
What I'm getting at is this: If you are single and you desire to be married.. have you surrendered the possibility of not being married, to God? I see a lot of single people making an idol out of the idea of being married, the very THOUGHT of staying single/celibate sends them spiraling. Now don't get me wrong, if you have the desire to be married, you probably will be one day.. but what if you don't get married? Are you okay with that? Have you come to terms that what God wants for you is best, even if it doesn't align with your plans for yourself?
I was 25 when I met my now husband, 30 when we married. I had potential "relationships" before him but he was my first real boyfriend. Before I met him I had come to terms that I probably wasn't lovable (truth is I was lovable even without a bf/ spouse). That if I was meant to be single, that would be fine. God's will be done. My husband can say he also came to terms with similar before he met me. This was HARD. It wasn't easy, but we accepted it. We were both ready to be single the rest of our lives.
Now obviously God had other plans for us, but even those plans didn't match up with what we had. Specifically my own. I wanted to be married IMMEDIATELY but it took 5 years. 5 years of long distance where we grounded ourselves. Learned to communicate. Grew together (and we continue to grow). 5 years I'm so grateful for, even though it was hard.
All this to say... be content with where you are at. Focus on God.. on improving yourself through Christ. Come to terms with being okay with what HE wants in your life, even if it's not what you planned/expected. Seek Him and ask Him to show you what it is He wants you to do.
Purple Gradient Sunset Sky with Clouds
Beautiful purple gradient sunset with soft clouds spread across the evening sky.
One of my recently taken favourite photos, featuring the sunset from two days ago, and the Moon
Red Aurora Over Australia
Credits: Terrastro, TWAN
When you see me with that blank stare, this is where I am.