#be yerself

[dragodblack]

I don't see why people have this big obsession with big bubble butts and big tits. why not a nice petite butt, proportionate hips, petite legs, and B cup or C cup breasts. ye don’t need a big butt and big tits to be pretty/sexy/cute/beautiful....besides, body fads are the dumbest thing ever made. everyone has different body types, not everyone can be the current idealism of perfect

[deforest]

I need advice. I have a crush on a barista and he's so handsome and it makes me feel shy about talking to him about anything personal. We've talked a few times and I want him. I find myself thinking about him a lot. I feel inadequate because he is so good looking and I'm not good at initating conversations. And also I normally date women so I think that's why I feel so shy about talking to him. My friends say to ask if he has a girlfriend and if not just give him my number. What should I do? Xo

but i do empathize with your fears 

i think you already know your options as to what you could physically do or say. you know yourself better than i do, and you also know him better than i do, so i really can’t tell you what to do there without a more detailed understanding of y’two

but i can tell you what i reckon as far as human relationships of any kind—i think they’re best when they come from somewhere simple and honest. which is no glowing revelation, i know, but it’s not an entirely useless thought to be redundant about. 

and, ok, well, i’ve never really understood what’s behind the whole “go up to someone and ask them out” thing if we’re being totally candid here. i guess i just never thought it needed to be that… vividly chiseled out, if that makes sense. even as an impulsive person i’ve never been keen on situations that would have me put people on any kind of “spot” in front of me so i’ve just always been wary of that particular process. but that’s just me. so if that’s your style, and if that’s what works for you, then i’m certainly nobody to dissuade you from that. keep on keepin’ on and the like 

but back to what i was saying—how i sees it, there’s no real right or wrong or should or shouldn’t with this. there’s only being a person and just doing the best you know with that. if you want to become more comfortable talking to someone, to whatever end, it stands to reason to just start somewhere simple: talk to him. talk to him about what you know. find out what he knows. know stuff together. and then talk about it. i don’t know. yknow?

just don’t overthink it is my two cents. and try not to force it—for him or for yourself. there doesn’t have to be a plan or a strategy or intent or direction. you can let it be fluid. enjoy his company. enjoy talking to him. get to know him. things do grow from there. you don’t have to “have him” to enjoy the reasons that made you “want him” in the first place. am i making any sense? i don’t know it’s 2am and i don’t even know what the fuck i’m talking about probably 

but yeah, my point being—and again, i can’t tell you what to do, and neither can your friends—but my point being:

for what it’s worth, in spite of all the worry, all the self-doubt, all the hesitation, all the genius, meticulous, painstaking perpetual self-preservation machining that you could or might do—people surprise you. even the “so handsome that” ones. 

no amount of analyzing really actually does what you design it to do because—and i really hate to admit it, because i like to believe in believing in the deductive and preemptive and acute-perceptive as relatively sound methods of predicting what another person might say or do or feel—but i gotta concede to the reality that at the end of the day you really never, ever, ever can guess what someone else is thinking or feeling. 

and something else i do have to admit—your feelings of inadequacy don’t really have the bearing you may think on what that other person might be thinking or feeling. 

look, i know i’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, but maybe sometimes folks just need to hear a couple color-by-number ABC 123 things regurgitated by a totally unqualified objective third party to irritate that catalyst effect you’re lookin for into a decision. who knows. 

and another cliche that doesn’t hurt to have rerun either: whatsa worst can happen? honestly? take a page from Kierkegaard and either do it or don’t ‘cause yer ass is gonna regret both

but yeah i mean it’s 2am and truth be told i should not be looked to for advice on ANYTHING in life whether it’s 2am or 2pm, but all’s i know for sure is sometimes you just get real damn lucky.

[allaroundshannon]

I'm so incredibly thankful for the people in my life who not only allow me to be unabashedly myself but who also encourage it.

Those people are the best.

I've always strived to allow and encourage the same in return.