#beardy rambles

[thorinsbeard]

I just overdid it oops. I went to the school playground with my 7 year old nephew and he ran around the cycle track and halfway through I joined him so we ran together and collapsed in a heap on the ground laughing. It was a beautiful memory. Just the two of us laughing, looking up at the sky. And then he wanted to show me how to make spears and weapons and I swear for a moment I felt like I was playing down in the barrens ahh. I just hate the whole awkward “Hi dad. Still looking for your daughter?” and him getting kind of shocked whenever he sees me. Cause I don’t look like a girl much at all anymore. Thanks dysphoria and testosterone XD 

I just should not run. I was on the verge of collapsing outside before. I just wanna gif but I need to find some places that do gif psd requests X__x 

[thorinsbeard]

My cousins/aunt who I have refused contact/anything to do with now made fun of me for the amount of times I’ve seen Bohemian Rhapsody. You don’t understand. I’m genderfluid and I was always ashamed of wearing female clothes as well as male but Freddie Mercury was so himself, he gave me the courage to accept myself more. And I can listen to his music and be taken away somewhere else, far away from the people telling me I’m ruining the world etc by being nonbinary and people misgendering me and refusing to believe in my existence.  

So yes I did get tickets to the sing along. I got a big fuck you you judgemental twats. Funny that you’re always going how you don’t like negativity when you’re the ones judging and being negative towards someone else. 

[thorinsbeard]

Rambling about Infinity War

I keep thinking about Infinity War and how goood it is, and how good the action was and how many feels it gave me (literally I cried within the first five-ten minutes lol) because I like Loki. And then there was Bruce telling Tony “Thor’s gone. It doesn’t matter who you’re talking to or not.” And that he actually believed that Thor was gone ;-; My heart. 

And then all the hilarity between Doctor Strange, Tony and Spiderman was awesome though I’m sad no one else laughed at the “get lost Squidward” thing. Actually most of the audiences I’ve gone with haven’t laughed except me. 

I loved the action and the big battle near the end. I loved seeing BUCKY SMILE. HE WAS HAPPY for a short time...and that thing with Rocket and him and the gun and the arm was hilarious. Steve was amazing in what little screentime they gave him. I admit I have an excited little squeal when I saw him for the first time (and dannn Steve you look good scruffy!!) and got super excited. I loved watching him stand in front of Thanos for as long as he could, so brave. So determined to save the world. 

I just can’t quite put this movie into words...it’s just incredible. And amazing and sad. And all the actors did such a good job ;-; I’m excited for the next part but how fair is it to kill Bucky in front of Steve (again) though I have some thoughts on that, since in the comic they weren’t actually dead they were stuck in a pocket universe. 

I just love it so much. ;-; I forgot how much I love these movies, this world. 

[thorinsbeard]

Yeeek I got a job interview in about a week and 3 days. So nervous. It’s a pretty basic job, but still. I could really use the money to save for Wellington and to buy other things I want. :D 

[thorinsbeard]

That fandom post really if you look on my shelf in the living room: Shelf #1 Usopp, Jaskier from The Witcher, Frodo Baggins minix figures, Chachamaru, Sabito, Giyu from Demon Slayer pop figures. A teeny tiny Muichiro Tokito is sitting on top of Giyu's box. 2nd shelf: Built Tokitos out of blocks I made. 3rd shelf: Pokemon and Akaza from Demon Slayer. 4th shelf: Greedo from Star Wars I got given for a work secret santa. AOT Manga and Demon Slayer Manga (I need volume 2 because my friend got my volume 3 at his work lol) Shelf #2 GIANT Baby Yoda made out of lego. My first present to myself once I got my job 5 years ago! Pompompurin and Kuromi and Hello Kitty.

Lol that's not even counting all my DBZ merchandise, One Piece, Demon Slayer and AOT merch I accumulate. I'm so excited to be getting one of the AOT scout cloaks to wear randomly downtown soon.

[beardyplaysgames]

Playing through Mass Effect: Andromeda again as twins Nehemiah and Lucy (I like doing this) And I do find it so haunting when you arrive on Eos and you find the datapads/voice recordings of the people who were there but failed. :'( of course my deaths are usually related to falling inside vaults lol or forgetting about the electric water. It's my first try doing normal instead of story/easy and so far I'm okay. Must go back to ME series as well but because of the no trophies for ME 2 I find myself irritated and not wanting to play beyond the first game. Even though I do love ME2 and even like ME3 minus the end. Though it did make me wonder and think about romancing Thane because when you die, you're reunited with him. :'(

[thorinsbeard]

I just realized something weird. My grandad introduced me to Star Wars (Ewoks movie) when I was about 8. My nephew seems very interested in watching Star Wars, and he is 8. So next time he is here I will introduce him to the world, as my grandad who passed away in 2017 introduced me. He knows about light sabers already. 

[thorinsbeard]

My time here has been a bit touch and go. I got really sick (possibly due to low B12) but the doctor also is testing me for 2 things. One of them is Crohns Disease, the other one is some condition that only old people get but she thinks I could have it. So now I have to do more tests. I spent yesterday being poked and prodded and had blood taken so maybe we can figure out what’s wrong. ZZZZ I wanna gif but energy what is that.