There is a huge part of me that wrestles daily to try and get back the girl and the mindset I once had. I remember a session within my therapy where it dawned on me that this is a different journey, yet here I am still trying to be like the old me. But the old me wasn't happy. The old me focused on all of the wrong things. The old me only cared about being as slim as possible and when I gained 30lbs and looked ridiculous (in a good way) I freaked out and lost control. I saw this quote on the weekend and it hit me so hard. This journey isn't going to be like last time because of everything that I've learnt in the meantime. Health does not equate to how low the scale is, it never has and it never will. Health is about the mind and body coming together to be peaceful, content and to flourish. I love the above photos, but I was torn apart every day because I was so much heavier. I don't plan to go in the direction that I did before, I just want to be able to do all of the things that I could do before which I took for granted. Today I will run. I don't know how far, but I will run. I'm still not ready to just give up, even though gaining 110lbs might look like it. #selflove #doyouright #bestrong #becapable #beastmode
