It’s interesting how this season kinda built up to Roman ultimately falling apart. Not in the same way that Kendall did, we saw Kendall drowning for more than two seasons now, there was visceral chain of events to his behaviour. I feel like this whole season Roman was slowly going towards the high that came from Logan’s approval, maybe for the first time feeling like a number 1 child, with Shiv failing to assert her position, and Kendall blowing up his own path, excluded from family’s inner circle. Roman was always the weakest link, always the one that needed supervision or training, who needed to be scolded and controlled to not fuck up the deal. But everything suddenly flipped and he was making deal, after deal, after deal bringing more people to Logan’s table and he could feel the approval, the supposed love; he was finally trusted, seen. He was flying so close to the sun, he mistook burning for warmth.
But as he was closing in on his position, he also became more boastful, arrogant, his jokes nastier and more cutting. Not to mention the level of incest and sexual jokes. It felt like he was trying to absorb all the attention that he could, positive or not, and finally scream that he wins, that in the end this moron, weakest dog is closer to the top that any of siblings could ever imagine. I feel like the amount of delusion that he was showing was painfully visible both to the viewers, but also other characters; Kendall repeating to him “You are not a real person”. I think he wasn’t, and it started to slowly pour out, the moment he slipped, the moment his arrogance took control, and he stopped being cautious. One misstep and it was enough for Logan to be sure that Roman is still nothing more than a little pervert, and a good attack dog to use to his advantage. But not the heir.
So him starting to show more and more emotions towards the end of 3x09 was literally him falling down the sky. Bargaining his love for Logan, pleading, trying to use something that he always hoped was there, that all this abuse, and humiliation, and pain had some reason, was coming from some place of care. But it wasn’t , it never did, and apart from losing 3 people that he stupidity cared about so much, he also lost his goal that was driving him for years. He lost the illusion that he used like a shield, treated like a smoke mirror against the truth. And both Shiv and Kendall, and even Connor already understood that truth, they already made peace with it, but Roman never did, it never occurred to him. He was used and abused by Logan, but he was also taught that loyal dog comes back, that there will be consequences otherwise, that he will feel cold without the approval that Logan could give. Trauma bonding and emotional dependence on someone who sees emotions as weakness.
I saw someone writing about how Roman had to stifle these emotions, while also being probably the most sensitive out of all Roy’s. Had to push it down and reconfigure his whole persona to fit into Logan’s vision, to be more like him. But it was never meant to stay for long, it never did. So seeing him finally break down a bit was almost cathartic, like it was long time coming, and he had to finally hit the ground, like all his siblings did, going over their heads and trying to measure to the sun.
