#becks dates

[hawkingbishop]

Man, being just friends with people is REALLY HARD when you have BPD.

I need to keep reminding myself over and over that she doesn’t want to be more right now.

But it doesn’t hurt any less. Cried my eyes out just now over it.

I really wish things could’ve worked out differently…

But I have to learn to live with it. I have to learn to lock those romantic/sexual feelings away.

I hope I can learn.

Boundaries are fucking hard.

[hawkingbishop]

Guys!

I had a really great evening with Madison. We walked from her house to a stream and sat in the shade just eating snacks and talking. Then we went to the mall to take advantage of my coupon for free Pumpkin Spice Bits at Wetzel’s Pretzels.

Then we went to GameStop where I asked if they would need a new app from me if I just applied within the last few months. (He said the DM takes care of all that stuff now.) Then I asked to put my name on the Tracer display so when they have to take it down and trash it.! But hey just told me to take it now. So obviously I did.

Then we went to Hot Topic and tried on his really cute dress. Then we went to my house to drop off Tracer. Then I played Overwatch while she watched. And then I picked up and dropped off my mom from work to her home.

Then Mads and I went to Union pond and sat there admiring the stars and each other...

[hawkingbishop]

Had a hookup tonight and it went okay.

But I’m much rather enjoying talking with someone else. 🥰

[hawkingbishop]

It’s so weird talking to multiple people at the same time. I haven’t done this since like 2018-2019.

I am enjoying the flirting so much. 🥰

[hawkingbishop]

I have one date on Thursday coming to my hotel room and another date hopefully this weekend and we’re gonna go bowling.

I’m super excited for both dates! The first one is more sexual and the second one seems more romantic so far.

God I can’t wait to kiss both of them. 🥵

[hawkingbishop]

Oh my fucking god this girl is SO HOT. 🥵

And we’re flirting nonstop.

It’s so surreal. Like it’s so hard to believe someone that attractive would be attracted to me. But she is?!?

[hawkingbishop]

I’m most likely seeing one bumble date on Thursday and a different one on the weekend and it’s so surreal to me. 😅

It’s so weird having a life and dating again.

I’m so excited/nervous as hell.

Theyre both hella cute/hot too. 🥰

God I can’t wait to kiss them.

[hawkingbishop]

Oh my fucking god. I’m over here hard flirting with two different hotties and I can’t believe it.

I know I’m fucking hot and people want me but it’s so hard to actually believe it most of the time. It feels like a sick joke where the punchline’s coming at any moment to ruin things.

Think positive, bitch. You’re hot and they want to kiss you. Fucking flirt with all you have and get it done.