Discover Top Posts Tagged with #bees meme

A shitpost I drew of mine and my friends' OC squad after a conversation inspired the idea.

Usagi belongs to @mopotatoes Yawa belongs to @shadowwalker593 Tsu belongs to @kotobukicutie Neko belongs to me

Feel free to reblog, but please don't repost!

#twst ocs #twst oc #bees #bees meme #twisted wonderland ocs #shitpost #neko #nekophilia

Bees!

Send me “Bees!” for a brutally honest critique of your writing (the good, the bad, and the ugly).

So I’m looking through your writing, and honestly I think the biggest issues I have personally with it are sentence structures and the uncut posts. The latter isn’t really a writing thing, so I know that’s cheating, but it’s a big deal for me.

The sentence structure thing is more subtle, and honestly sometimes you do it perfectly, so I really had to hunt to get a sense of what I felt was off. I think, for the most part, it’s that you reply too much on short, simple sentences that make the narrative itself feel stilted. And when you branch away from it, you don’t have enough punctuation in sentences with complex structure to make it flow well. And I do realize that’s pretty sketchy critique coming from the girl who just a few days ago proclaimed her personal flaw was too many commas/too many filler words, but I do think there is a middle ground here. Try and explore a bit with conjunctions, and always always read your work back to yourself aloud to get a feel for the flow. I’d be a liar if I said I did this with my own work all the time (reading some of my posts makes this obvious), but it’s a really good practice.

That said….for the most part, your writing is pretty solid. It’s not overly repetitive (though I do think you could stand to add a bit more detail in at times), and the voice you have for Ford seems pretty solid as well. And like I said, this isn’t a consistent issue throughout – there are posts of yours I’m looking at now that I think I could learn a thing or two from in regards to being concise.

#Bees Meme #out of sanity #goldenbutnotinthegoodway #(so looking at this now I realize this is a bunch of mixed messages and I apologize for that)

Bees!

Send me “Bees!” for a brutally honest critique of your writing (the good, the bad, and the ugly).

I really like your writing, especially your dialouge for Star. It feels really organic and I can hear her voice in it when I read. I feel like your narration gets a bit too ramble-y at times though. Now this could be a stylistic choice, since it’s functionally internal dialouge for Star, but otherwise I think you might be able to streamline it a bit to make it more concise, and less distracting.

#out of sanity #Bees Meme #animated--dimensions

bees (eh why not, just curious)

Send me “Bees!” for a brutally honest critique of your writing (the good, the bad, and the ugly).

Something I really admire about your writing is that you never shy away from using the active voice. There are few things in this world that irk me more (when it comes to writing RP anyway), than obsessively gratuitous passive voice that avoids personal pronouns like the plague for...idk? Aesthetic?? But that’s another rant.

That said, our greatest strength can sometimes be our greatest weakness, and I think for you, it might be safe to explore breaking out of that sentence structure once in a while, since you ARE writing fiction. A little variety can help the flow – and so can ending things with something other than a period. Unless you want everyone to read your writing like this. Don’t just use periods. It sets a certain tone. And that might not be the one you are going for. Commas, dashes, semi-colons, and even colons (much more rarely) can actually help a thought keep flowing when it’s meant to.

Of course, if that IS the tone you are going for, there really isn’t an issue. That’s a stylistic choice.

#Bees Meme #out of sanity #voluntarilyfallen

“Bees!”

Send me “Bees!” for a brutally honest critique of your writing (the good, the bad, and the ugly).

You have a mastery of dialouge for pretty much every character you take on. I consistently hear their voice, and on a conceptual level, it feels like things they would say. However, I think you can get a bit lost in your narration at times, even if it’s not functioning as internal dialouge. I’ve noticed some of the longest posts can get repetitive in this area, and while I’m perfectly aware you are not just trying to pad the length of the posts, it can sometimes have that feel to it.

This isn’t a consistent issue though, I only see it sometimes. Other times, your longer posts just have that much vibrant content to fill it. But when I do see it, I REALLY see it, so it might be worth glancing back at some of the longer paragraphs once in a while to ask yourself if it’s carrying along the story or not.

#out of sanity #Bees Meme #saltysciencesixer