#beinganactor

[saurabhpathakofficial-blog]

Q&A Q: What is that one quality that an actor must have? A: A good actor will have qualities of a good storyteller. #QandA #SaurabhPathak #actingtips #actor #actorslife #beinganactor #storyteller #storytelling #actingforcamera #entertainment #theatre #art #artiest #my #actingcoach #actingteacher #film #movies (at Mumbai, India)

[yoyoyuko]

Thoughts on 2014

So, this is the last day of 2014.  In retrospect, the year was on many levels a big turning point for me.

In the beginning, it was loaded with daunting challenges. Firstly, my only Japanese artist friend with whom I had thought I would be working in Finland had decided to leave the country for good. Her decision was a shock to me and made me think mercilessly about my own life in Finland. "It's not enough just to survive. I want to thrive as an artist. I need to have a strong reason or passion to stay where I am. But what is it?" I only heard silence in a void. Secondly, I was getting sick from my own emotional baggage. The past few years of fruitless obsession and indulgence in sorrow was taking a toll. "But what am I to do with these pervasive feelings that have never really gone away?" I often woke up with heaviness in the head and a knot in the chest. Lastly, about working life. Everything felt so uncertain and unclear that I was afraid of not getting anything done. It's hard enough already for a foreigner to find a decent job. Need I say more about working as a foreign artist. "Will I be able to financially survive the year?" The question was real and dire.

At the lowest point and also the ultimate turning point, I burst into tears on a bench in front of a church one beautiful summer day. I cried for 30 minutes non-stop. Clouds and people were passing by leisurely, and my eyes were red and puffy.  I kept repeating to myself, "After all these years... After all these f*^king years..."

And then, a ridiculous amount of amazing stuff started happening. I cannot list everything, but here are some highlights: - I was offered a small role in a movie by chance. The movie was shot during summer and premiered in December (the most seen movie of the holiday season). - A mixed-reality game project Antroposeeni began its first phase. I am the actor and co-writer for the project. It will continue onto next year. - I became a member of the Finnish professional actor's union (Suomen Näyttelijäliitto) and also of Ylioppilasteatteri, the best-known amateur theatre in Finalnd. - I performed in "Tapaus Gaala," the Myllyteatteri's 10th year anniversary production. Both creatively and personally, it was one of the hardest and the most rewarding processes that transformed awful situations into something precious.  - I wrote an original play and acted in it with a few of my dear colleagues. The audience reacted very strongly and sincerely. It meant a lot to me that my work meant something to someone, too.  - I formed a music band called Elena's Idea with two Finnish guys who play guitar. We have been composing many original songs and are ready to make an album quite soon.

etc. etc..

So, in conclusion, I am feeling good at the moment. "Good" in the sense that I now have the first-hand knowledge of life's surprises and wonders.

Before finishing this note, I have to mention one equally important element of life: death. I would like to ponder over it for a little while. I have heard and seen quite a few deaths this year. Deaths of loved ones. Deaths of cultural icons. Deaths of long-held fantasies. The ultimate end of something. It's never an easy thing to face.  Facing death is an eye-opener.. whether you want to keep your eyes closed or not. It will.. sometimes violently and cruelly open your eyes to see the truth of life.  It's a strange awareness beyond anyone's imagination or expectation... you reach a place where none of what you have held dear exists. Pain? Yes.. and it is a real pain that makes you feel something far greater than any prescribed emotion. I cannot help wishing that I could say something that somehow alleviate the pain for those who are going through the deaths of their loved ones. But alas, grieving is an extremely personal, solitary process. All I can do is to be here.

What I experience from grieving my dad's death and many others' has been continuously deepening each moment for living.

So..

I am very lucky to be alive. I am extremely fortunate to interact with other lives.  I am utterly grateful to those who came into my life and to those who are still here with me.

Those are my final thoughts on 2014.

A happy new year to you all. Onnellista uutta vuotta kaikille. みなさま、良いお年をお迎えください。

Yuko

[yoyoyuko]

New Year's resolutions

I have written about a similar issue before. But, allow me to expound on my situation yet once again.

When I was studying acting in the US, one former casting agent told me that I would never get so-called “leading roles” or “the main-stream jobs” because of my physical appearance and accent.

When I tried to work as an actor in Japan, I was mocked by a headshot photographer that I didn’t look like “a normal actor” and that I didn’t know how to be one.

As I have been working as a professional actor in Finland, there have been more than one occasion where I had to face mild marginalization and segregation due to the performing arts’ close-knit community that can sometimes be unintentionally exclusive to outsiders or foreigners like me.

So, wherever I go, my difference sticks out for better or worse. If I think about acting as business, being labeled as “non-mainstream” or “non-leading role” based on the things I cannot change (race, physical appearance, etc.) sucks. After all, I need jobs, and getting seen by many is part of the job.

However, I have the ultimate advantage of being different. I can make my own stuff. It may not be “the main stream” stuff, but it is my own stream of things. The stream will only get bigger and greater as I feel very excited for the coming year and beyond.

I will write plays and act in them. I will write a movie script and get it made. I will write books and publish them. I will write lyrics and sing them. I will write my own stories and live them.

Well.. let them be my New Year’s resolutions.

Happy holidays, everyone!