#bek posts

[wowitsbek]

Executive dysfunction is so funny, bitch I have "do nothing" disease I simply cannot do tasks

[oldschoolies-blog]

Bek’s gonna write for a bit now...

I work for my school as a photo monitor, and during this I usually have a bunch of downtime to do homework or projects because there were only so many chores to do, and nobody signed up to work in the dark room.

Today I haven’t eaten since like 2 PM and it’s 7:30 as I write this, and I’ve been trying to motivate myself to do some reading for Art History class (the bane of my existence), but I can’t figure out how to dive in. Reading is so hard for me. I don’t know how to start and focus. I have ADD (along with other stuff) and it’s making it hard to keep focused on one thing, especially something like reading where I’m not having to formulate words of my own (like when I write, I have an easier time focusing because I’m making the words up as I go along, and putting them onto paper/computer screen). The words go by more slowly, and I can think about them.

I gotta set up a weekly time with the writing center resource my school offers. I’ve been sobbing every other night about the workload I have this year, and I’m only a part-time student. I can’t imagine what full-time students (especially those who ALSO work for the school AND have part-time jobs elsewhere) are going through.

I know some people thrive on that kind of pressure, and they can keep organized and such. I feel like a lesser person, though, because I have such a hard time even with such a little workload.

Things are hard still. Just wanted to put a little update on that. It feels good to get these feelings out.

- Bek