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Doomed Couples are awful wonderful to read about

But they will never win against Doomed Twins

Beldaran: Every time I’m with Riva my heart clenches and I get really nervous.

Belgarath: Aw, you really like him.

Polgara: You’re allergic to him and should stay as far away from him as possible.

Belgarath: *giving Beldaran away at her wedding*

Beldaran: (as they approach Riva) You can let go now, father.

Belgarath: Okay.

Beldaran:

Belgarath: *still holding on to her arm*

Beldaran: I said let go!

Belgarath: *trying not to cry* I can’t.

Polgara: I keep cursing in ice cream flavours and Uncle Beldin has told me to stop.

Beldaran: How do you curse in ice cream flavours?

Polgara: What the mint chocolate chip did you say to me, punk?

Polgara: I’ll kick your rocky road and then punch the ever living strawberry cheesecake out of you.

Beldaran:

Beldaran: That was beautiful.

Polgara: Thank you.

Belgarath: If you’re saying I play favourites, you’re wrong. I love both my daughters equally.

[Earlier]

Belgarath: I don’t care for Polgara.

Beldaran, coughing: Do you know CPR?

That Bear-Cult 'doctor', smiling: No, I don't. Choke, bitch.

Belgarath: Well, I may not have been a perfect father, but you know, kids don’t come with a handbook!

Narrator: In fact, there are thousands of books on child-rearing. But Belgarath was in denial.

Polgara: Father also disappeared.

Beldaran: That was his job. He was a sorcerer.

Polgara: But he never reappeared!

Beldaran: He wasn't a very good sorcerer.

#beldaran