Bellarke and #20 -- things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear
inspired by the most beautiful scene on television
“If I don’t see you again…” He will. You’re sure ofthat. You can’t imagine it otherwise.
And when Roan calls we’ve got a problem, he follows you and you’re close enough for hearing hiswhisper.
Is this what he was going to say? How would you know?
Three little words.
You don’t have time to think about it right nowbecause Roan is showing you the barrel. And the arrow.
Your only word is no.You don’t believe it, you don’t want to believe it.
You’re so tired, you have tried for so long, you havelost hope.
But you also had hope again. When he took the pen and putit to the paper. When he touched your shoulder.
You blink a little, froze in place. The realization struckyou only now. You’re taking deep and short breathes because you seem to havelost the ability to do that without thinking about it.
Three little words.
You hear him talking to Roan. His deep, soothing voice.You close your eyes. You bit your lips a little.
You hear Roan leave and you feel him coming closer toyou. You keep your eyes close still. You know you won’t be able to keep quietif you meet his eyes. But you don’t really want to.
“Roan thinks I should stay with you until the boat ishere.”
“Good thinking” is the only thing you can manage tosay right now.
You’re both silent for a moment. You let out a littlesigh, you didn’t even realize. But he seems to. Like always.
“Clarke, are you okay?”
You blink a few times more and you turn your head toface him. You smile your little, shy smile, your smile that doesn’t reach yourears, your we’re going to die soonsmile.
We don’t have much time leftnow? he had said. Wereally don’t, you think. He was right.
He sees the tears in your eyes because he tilts hishead and whispers Clarke…
Once more.
You can’t pretend you didn’t hear what he said.
Those three little words.
“Bellamy.” His own eyes look so tired.
“What were you going to say earlier?”
He doesn’t answer right away, just gulps and looksaway.
“Bellamy, look at me.” You reach for his hand and it’slike a fire is burning between you two.
“I heard something when Roan called us.” He’s stillsilent and you don’t really know what to do. You just have to do it.
You hold his hand tighter and he looks up to meet youreyes. He wears a little frown so you smile to ease it.
“Bellamy, if you’re going back to Arkadia…” you take adeep breath because this is hard. “If you’re going back, I need you to stay safe. I need you to survive.” You’realmost crying and he can certainly hear it in your voice. “I meant what I said.”You blink and a single tear runs on your cheek. “We will see each other again. Because I can’t do this alone. I needyou. And I need you to promise me that you are going to survive.”
“Clarke…”
“Promise me.”
He doesn’t answer. You know him too well and you knowthat he’s incapable of making that promise.
“Did you mean it?” you ask.
“What?”
Those three little words.
“Do you love me?”
You see him take a deep breath before lifting his handto brush some of your hair out of your face. You lean into his caress, closingyour eyes again, enjoying his warmth. Your hand comes to join his.
“Bellamy, did you mean it?”
He still won’t say a thing.
“Was it what you were going to say to me?”
You drop your voice to whisper now.
“Did you mean for me to hear that?” He shakes his headslowly. It hurts.
“Do you regret it?” Nothing. And then he shakes hishead. No.
No, he doesn’t regret you hearing those words, thoselittle words that changed everything.
“If you’re going back to Arkadia, you need to survive.You deserve to survive Bellamy. Ineed you to survive.”
Okay… is all he says
“Do it for me” you say. And you come closer,tentatively you put your arm around him. He hugs you back after a few second,like he did the first time, on the beach like the last time. Saying goodbyelike this second time. There will be more time. There will be.
Okay… is all he can say and he’s repeating it over andover.
SEND ME A SHIP AND ONE OF THESE AND I’LL WRITE A MINI FIC.
