My belonging crisis
Sitting down during our weekly coffee shop “sit-down,” we came across a place that brought warmth to my heart. It was a small, family-run coffee shop in an Austin Tx that often feels overtaken by large corporations. Corps that take what little essence we have and commercialize it.
This coffee shop was different. It celebrated Latino roots and a family-oriented sense of community. It immediately made me reflect on my current crisis of belonging. I was born in Mexico and moved to the U.S. over 10 years ago. Since then, I’ve felt distant from my roots, yet also disconnected from the place I now inhabit.
Every so often, I get small glimpses of what feels like my cultura—the emphasis on community, connection, and the feeling of having a village that I care about and that cares about me.
This is why the phrase “ni de aquí ni de allá” doesn’t resonate with me. I don’t want to feel that distance. Instead, I want to create my own space. “De aquí y de allá” still doesn’t fully capture it either, because I don’t feel entirely from the U.S.
I am simply someone who has been away from his roots long enough to miss them, but gone long enough to not quite know how to recreate them here.
I refuse to fully accept the way of living here, and I refuse to let my cultura fade. I’m still figuring out what that looks like—but I know I’ll build something that reflects who I am.
