Spelling Fights
Word Count: 1,816
Authors: Deka & Ale
Warning: None, just fluffiness
Pairing: Benedict Cumberbatch x Wife!Reader
Summary: The little fight between an American and a British couple
Credits to this video for the awesome interview: https://youtu.be/eX2M6Lf8WKc
“So, the interview is tonight at eight, right?” I asked, standing behind the scenes of The Hobbit, Ben had just finished his scene as Smaug with the sensors and the tech stuff.
“Yes, but don’t get nervous. You’ll be fine” Benedict smirked, mocking me.
Oh, seriously Benny? He started the game, not knowing I was going to win again. This little game consisted in making fun of each other because of our nationalities, that cute british bastard.
“Of course I’ll be fine” I responded with my head high, I was too proud to quit now.
“But don’t forget that we’re in England. I’m worried people won’t understand what you’re saying, that’s all” He said.
“I can speak properly and I’m sure everyone will get my words, darling” I added with a british accent.
“But I can speak sexier” He winked at me.
“I’m afraid you don’t. ‘Football’, really? Soccer says almost everyone”.
“Everyone is only America? C’mon. At least I don’t say ‘math’, the right way to say it is Maths, you uncultured woman”
I was quiet for a moment, “FREEDOM” I shouted, and the fight began.
Two hours after the little chat with Benedict, we were at home having lunch before getting prepared for the interview. We looked at each other giggling, both of us knew what was going to happen, and we were prepared for the battle. At the beginning it all started as a joke, but now was a whole new rivalry. Ben was chosing a few cookies to eat and I was making some tea, it was a relaxing silence but then my dear husband started screaming.
“That is not how you make tea!” He cried out trying to sound attacked.
“Oh my God, are you serious? We’re not having that conversation again. I highly recommend you to leave the kitchen or…”.
He kissed my cheek interrupting and I smiled wildly.
“I love you, you know that? But maybe we should change tasks. Let me take care of this and you pick the cookies. Deal?”.
I sighed dramatically.
“Yes, we better”.
“Yeah, you can’t just squish the tea bag with the spoon. That’s wrong, love”
“Sorry Mr. Britishguy Sillyname”
He laughed and so did I.
Now we were waiting for someone to tell us to enter the room where the interview was held, everyone took turns, first was Richard Armitage, then Martin and Benedict and I were the last ones. As an actress I was in a lot of movies with Ben. Directors and writers had told us that we have an unique chemistry, but I didn’t appear in The Hobbit trilogy. I joined the crew as a make-up artist and helped with the script, as a big fan of Tolkien I couldn’t miss that opportunity for anything in the world.
“They’re taking a lot of time, aren’t they?” Benedict said, I couldn’t tell if he was worried or excited.
“Is there anything you know about this interview that I don’t?” I asked calmly, “you’re into something, right?”
“Me? Nah. Oh, wait, do you smell that?”.
“Smell what?”.
“Fear”.
I rolled my eyes.
“Okay Smaug the Almighty Destructor of Villages, what have you done?”
“Nothing, I swear!”
He stroked gently my waist.
“Mr. and Mrs Cumberbatch, it’s your turn” announced a blonde woman who happened to be the interviewer.
Before doing so we greeted Martin and talked with him a few seconds. Then, Benedict held the door for me to walk in, so british of him. The purest gentleman.
“Good evening, and thanks a lot for attending me, it’s an honor to have you both here”.
I smiled at her and he shaked her hand.
“My name is Meriah Doty. So, firstly, how are you today?”.
“Great, yeah. Great indeed, although it’s brass monkeys out there”.
Damn.
“It means it’s cold outside” He whispered.
I could see in his smiley face he was forcing himself not to laugh.
“You don’t say!” I answered sarcastically.
Meriah cleared her throat and started to ask Benedict some questions fans sent her via Twitter and Facebook. I was getting a bit bored but then an interesting question popped up.
“So, @CumbercookieLove34 asked: how is it to work with your wife? Is it any competition between you two?”
I crossed my arms, paying full attention now.
“Competition?”.
He pretended to be searching for an answer.
“I wouldn’t name it a competition, but he’s always insulting me. Not in a bad way, you know? But… he’s very silly most of the time, ‘cause I’m the only American in the crew, with Lee Pace of course, but he’s as glorious as Thranduil so Benedict kind of forgives him somehow” I said suddenly.
“The thing is,” Ben started, ”she can’t manage my britishness and she’s mad because she only speaks a simplified version of English” he played the victim.
“Watch your mouth Buttercup Cumberpatch” and I rolled my eyes for what seemed the 10000th time. Meriah laughed again, ”See?” I turned around to face her, “I’m so tired”.
Ben patted my back and gave me that Puppy Eye’s Look, he really knows how to do that look and make you feel guilty.
“You can’t really imagine how is living with him. Complains about the tea and when I send him a text sometimes I spell words with only an ‘O’ instead of ‘OU’ and it drives him crazy, for instance, but he truly does everything he can just to irritate me” I said releasing a sigh. Meriah laughed again, really this girl is just supposed to laugh? “But then he’s a complete sweetheart and his polite self takes control so he says sorry all the time” I chuckled.
Benedict laughs uncontrollably.
“But hey, we love each other after all, so don’t worry, we’re gonna stick together until the end” I said looking straight to the camera.
“‘Gonna’” He repeated.
“Yep” I stated marking the ‘p’.
“Well, you guys are definitely the cutest couple of all time. We’re playing a game now. I searched photos of the cast and you’re going to guess who are they just by looking at their feet” The interviewer said excitedly.
“This is gonna be so much fun” I said already laughing, oh my God, I turned into Meriah.
“So, this is the first one” she showed us a picture of a person with his face and body covered.
“Ugh, whoever that is they got some weird looking feet” I commented.
“Martin Freeman” Benedict said without thinking twice. The interviewer giggled.
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, how could you… how ca… Wait what? Do you have a foot fetish for Martin? Oh my God I knew it!” I fangirled in front of camera, “just so you know, people…” (I paused to create a little of dramatism) “I ship Johnlock”.
Both Benedict and Meriah laughed so hard that I swear I heard a snort.
“That’s actually quite right. I took her to the Sherlock Set once and every time we finished a scene with strong content, like the one in the pool or when I jumped… well, you know, spoilers. The point is that she always clapped and hugged Martin and I, and I remember perfectly she said ‘You two are so shippable’. Oh, was that too long? I’m sorry I just wanted to tell the story” He giggled shyly while blushing.
“Oh, and by the way, sorry Martin, you have wonderful feet” I smiled.
“You two are so cute, guys” Meriah complimented. “So, the second one is… this!” She showed us another picture.
“Mmm… James Nesbitt?” I guessed.
“Peter Jackson” Benedict said. No hesitation.
“Yeah! Point for Benedict!” Meriah told us.
“What?! I swear this guy has a foot fetish” I tried to mask my bad loser mood.
“I’m so good at this” He said proudly.
“Okay, so this one is a bit difficult but the black and white is the key” The interviewer said revealing the photo.
It was pretty obvious that it was taken a lot of years ago.
“Mmm...”
“Richard?” Ben inquired.
“Ian McKellen!” I literally shouted, I was sure it was him.
“Correct! You’re good Y/N” Meriah greeted me.
“In your face Buttercup!” I did a short but intense party dance in the chair, “I guessed it and you didn’t!” Ben just watched me as he smiled sweetly. “Maybe the feet are overexposed”
“Yeah, I don’t know why Ian McKellen’s feet are overexposed” He said in his Sherlock kind of voice, “that was rude…”
The three of us laughed.
“The next one,” Meriah said “is this one!” She showed us a photo of two people jumping in the air.
“Mmmm…” I started thinking, “one is Benedict, I know it, but the oth…”
“Me and Jonny Lee Miller” He said quickly, “Jonny Lee Miller and I” He corrected himself.
“Amazing! And Martin Freeman corrected me because his face was plastered in Johnny Lee Miller’s…, my bad” Meriah said.
“Yeah, that’s bullshit. Who did that?” He went to grab the photo.
“I thought it was him, I found it like that on the internet” She explained. “Okay, next and last one”.
“Oh Lord” I exclaimed. Benedict stretched out in his chair and approached the lady with the photograph.
“Richard… Armitage?” He wondered, confused.
“I… don’t know… Stephen Hunter?”
The interviewer showed us the whole picture.
“Evangeline, oh my God” Benedict covered his mouth, surprised, “Oh my God” He laughed really hard, “Fuck” He kept laughing, covering his eyes with the palm of the hand.
“Well, that" I pointed at him with my finger ”is definitely rude”
I was super tired so I decided to sit in the back of the car so I could lay down and fall asleep more easily, but instead of that, I was staring at Benedict’s side profile.
“You’re beautiful” he declared suddenly.
He kept his eyes on the road but I noticed he was grinning.
“You are beautiful too, and I love your accent” I said sternly and he smiled sweetly, “and I also love your otter face”
He tried not to laugh too much so he couldn’t get distracted.
“You have the otter face… otter face.” He tried to make a good insult and failed.
“You sure it’s me who has that face? Your cumberbitches and probably the rest of the multiverse says it’s you who owns that title, my love”
“It’s cumbercollective” He sighed and rolled his eyes, copying me.
“We all know it is and will always be cumberbitches, get over it Buttercup”
“Not gonna happen”.
“Gonna? It seems like I’m who rules the relationship”.
“You’ve always ruled the relationship”
“I’m glad you’re day by day recognizing facts. Today’s been ‘gonna’, I’m curious about what’s gonna “I laughed hard when I said that” be tomorrow”.
“Oh, shut up”
That night, as we did since the very first time we shared a bed, we slept cuddling, then in the morning our innocent little verbal war continued.