#bernard speaks

[the-arch-elf]

Santa’s scheduled to leave in less than 2 hours and he left to take care of some family drama but “jeez, Bernard, it’s okay, it’s fine, I’ll be back before I have to deliver the presents.”

[ko-the-kreator]

Haha. Still alive still kickin’! Just wanted to post my addition to @xxxtoony-brosxxx // @reverie-bros-bank-n-studio-co //and @xxmelancholicworldxx ‘s Zombie AU.

[the-arch-elf]

Michael Buble’s, Frank Sinatra’s or the Jackson Five’s Santa Claus is coming to town?

None of them.

Listen, it’s a good song, and I don’t hate it. But between Scott singing that song all day on Christmas Eve, and Curtis playing it all the time at the workshop, I feel like my mind starts to slowly turn to mush every time I hear it.

Occasionally though, when I feel like messing with Curtis, I turn Michael Buble’s version on the overhead system and watch him go feral.

It never gets old.

Uh, but if I had to choose then the Jackson Five’s version. You can never go wrong with a classic.

Yours, Bernard

[the-arch-elf]

About to go beat curtis in a snowball fight, I’ll post the video afterwards

[the-arch-elf]

SANTA IS BEGINNING HIS ROUTE NOW, EVERYTHING’S OKAY

[the-arch-elf]

Happy holidays, Elves!

Santa’s route went off without a single accident. No hitches, no misfortune, and absolutely no injuries. (Alan will be giving the incident report; meeting to be scheduled next week when we know the extent of the damage.)

The Christmas party is tonight, so don't forget to drop by! There will be carols, dancing, and all the figgy pudding you can eat.

And of course, excellent work this year. I couldn't ask for a better team.

Yours, Bernard

[the-arch-elf]

Important Reminder

Conveyor belts are not a method of transportation for getting between the floors quickly. Stop riding on them, and please stick to taking the stairs or the elevators.

Yours, Bernard

[the-arch-elf]

What is the strangest thing you have seen on a kid's wishlist?

I can't share this information. Kid's Christmas letters and wish lists cannot be revealed, and all elves are bound to secrecy to never discuss what they read on the list lest they break the careful trust established between us elves and those kids.

I'm totally messing with you.

One time, a kid asked us to give his sister the black plague so she stopped bothering him.

I still think about him sometimes.

Yours, Bernard