For @snkpositivityweek day 5: Love your content creator day, I wanted to pay tribute to my favorite eremin (multi-multishipper) queen, @bev-nap, by writing a ficlet to go with this amazing art of hers. Please check her out, you won’t regret it!
Through his sobs, he heard Eren’s boot heels fly across the dirt field behind him. At first, Armin had been sure nobody had seen the violent way he’d reacted to Keith’s drilling shouts, but he regrettably realized that he was wrong - and it made his tears run only hotter as he ran.
“D-don’t-... I’m fine!” His weak yell could convince no one. Least of all the boy on his heels; his very best friend; the friend that knew him in and out, more thoroughly than he knew himself. The friend he was growing so afraid to lose as graduation crept closer now - so much so that all he could dream anymore, was flashes of torn limbs and broken promises.
Suppose that was why he started crying in the first place: the drill sergeant’s mean barks had long since lost its effect on Armin; he already knew he was weak, useless, titan food-to-be... but after Eren took a particularly clumsy dive down the hill on this cold morning run, Keith’s words had been excessively unforgiving, and as his descriptions flowered about how a titan jaw would close around Eren’s chest and crush the life out of him, Armin saw it vividly before his inner eye. Just like in his dreams - just the way he knew it would happen; he was convinced now; this was a foolish plan; a foolish plan to reach a foolish dream that would cost him the most precious thing he had: his best friend. The thought of its inevitability forced its way into his chest and coiled around his lungs like a snake. The fear was suffocating him. And there was no way out now; graduation was nigh. He’d lose Eren. He’d lose his dream - of living out there with Eren.
The bitter love that filled his throat with tar as he pictured the life he’d never have with Eren, and the icy fear of knowing he’d fight for it and lose, mixed within him, and the turbulence made him bend over and gasp. He rounded the back of the barracks and stood there, coughing up mental ash. Eren was still right on his heels, but in what world could Armin outrun him anyway?
Leaning against the wall and panting between sobs, Armin closed his eyes and waited. Aside from the humiliation of being this weak hearted, getting to perhaps hug it out, would probably help. He knew that; he just... felt ashamed. As well as afraid.
“Ar-..!” Eren skidded as soon as he rounded the corner and found his friend there. He wiped his glistening forehead with his dirtied jacket sleeve, and turned to lean hard against the wall next to him. “Armin,” he wheezed. “What’s wrong?”
But Armin didn’t have to tell him; Eren knew, and supplied: “don’t listen to what Keith says. He’s paid to be mean. And I’m not gonna go down so easily, I promise. I’ll kick every single titan butt, just you wait!”
Endeared, Armin had to give up a weepy, weak laugh. Though, he wasn’t ready to meet the other’s eyes yet, and kept his gaze set on his own boots.
“You don’t know that,” he sighed, abandoning the laugh in favor of a resigned lament. He wanted Eren to be right so bad, but the truth was that this world was cruel - and he was afraid.
“Hey...” Eren pushed off the wall to place himself directly in front of Armin, arms crossed and legs wide with overconfidence. “Look at me, Armin...”
Armin did as he was told: he lifted his head and his eyes met Eren’s. They were standing only a foot apart; just close enough to make Armin’s heart leap with that new, yet familiar mix of anticipation and confusion that had started to become a constant around Eren.
«I just don’t want him to be right. He knows what he’s talking about.” Armin’s voice was lowered, but carried better from regained breath. “I don’t want to lose you.”
The earnestness of his confession seemed to take Eren aback somewhat, as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other - contemplating, looking his blond friend up and down, arms winding closer together over his chest. Eventually, he spoke: “You won’t. I know how to kill them now. I’m small and fast. You know how you can try and swat mosquitoes but they always end up biting you anyway? Yeah, like that. I’ll take them out. And I’ll survive. We’ll survive.” He gave a huff and looked to the side - around the corner? Then he stepped closer, and his arms dropped to his sides just as Armin’s heart soared up, up into his throat where he had to swallow to keep it down.
Eren’s shallow breath tickled Armin’s bangs now, and Armin grabbed onto his shoulders just to steady himself they way he couldn’t emotionally. “Eren,” he whispered. “...Eren.” His cheeks were hot, his tears scorching his cheeks.
“Armin... don’t cry.” Eren’s whispering voice was tender now; like his expression, one of deep caring, one of love.
His lips were coming closer, his eyelids looked heavy.
And then Armin closed his eyes in a moment of faith, and as he sought the heat of the kiss he dared to hope for, he felt them come together, and he felt Eren’s lips on his. And explosion of calm washed over him, and sweet intention guided them as they moved their mouths slowly to fit one another. Clumsy and unpracticed for sure, but was this kiss not yet the most freeing and reassuring burst of love Armin had ever felt? Never had he verbally expressed the tension that had grown between him and his friend as of late, yet somehow, this clash of lips and bumping of tongues, put everything into place and put everything right. The snake in his chest uncoiled, and the tar and ash was replaced with butterflies and hope. Maybe they were destined to see the day of freedom after all? It felt like it might be right. This kiss told him there was more to come; it felt like an answer to a question he couldn’t place.
He felt Eren’s hand cup the back of his head, and then glide around to settle at his cheek. Could anyone be more tender? They came apart then, Eren pulling back to reveal a modest blush - though not on par with that of Armin’s redness - and Armin let their eyes meet in an intense exchange of unspoken words. Then the brunette exhaled the breath he’d been holding in, and gave an unusual smile; a smile that enthused and made something intense and exciting settle in Armin’s lower abdomen.
“Better?” His voice was deep and low. It matched his eyes in the way it made Armin’s heart skip a beat.
“Y-yeah,” Armin whispered back, hands still lingering in their clutch of Eren’s jacket.
Although his fear was not gone for good, the excitement over what promises lay in Eren’s lingering glance, helped him forget for now; for now, he was positive good things were in store for the two of them. And then, one day, their dream...
