On the note of "AA is abusive, he can't love you"... if we're going to analyze it from that particular angle, some of you have a very polarized understanding of what abusive relationships actually look like.
Abusers are fully capable of loving their victims, the existence of love is not a purifying force-- and to tell a victim "they don't love you" is belittling the complexities of their situation. The existence of love in an abusive relationship is what keeps the victim from leaving, this love is obviously misshapen and manifests in all sorts of toxic ways but, it exists. Sure, you can say that AA is very toxic (arguably, any iteration of Astarion will have its toxicity "complications")-- but to fully ignore the idea that there is grayness to the relationship and instead is a black & white case of abuse, that simply does not compel me.
If you are so desperate to remind AA-enjoyers (several of which are victims of DA/abuse/PTSD themselves) that they are woefully misguided, that they are wrong for their choice in escapism... do so without bringing up the idea that he cannot love you. Please, use an argument that does not perpetuate harmful ideas surrounding abuse-- because it is not as cut & dry as "bad person hurts frail victim". It is feeding into a very dangerous narrative and is deeply close-minded.
