So like every moment is my favorite of them but I'll go with these five... not rly in any particular order
Their first kiss cause OBVIOUSLY. It was so tender and such a good first kiss. David's hand on Patrick's neck, Patrick bracing his hand on the car door, then him thanking David for that. It's just so good.
This whole fucking scene. Need I say more?
Open Mic Nite. When Patrick serenaded David to an acoustic cover of Tina Turners "Simply the best" 😍😭
First "I love you". Everything leading up to this also was amazing. David bringing the box of dog sweaters inside the store. Patrick teasing about how effortless it looked. "You're my Mariah Carey". All of it.
The day after their first kiss. I love this because Patrick has been up since 5 am because he kept thinking about David and that they finally kissed! And when David asks if he has regrets Patrick looks so confused like what?! No! And tells him how good he feels. It's a good scene.
And 5 honorable mentions in the form of gifs (not my gifs, credit to the owners!!!) because I have no self control:
I love them so much, ugh my heart
put “top 5” anything in my ask and i will answer ok go
hi! if you’re still taking requests for big gifs would you be able to make ones of the lil neck kisses in meet the parents and the hike? this is also just a general appreciation ask for your stunning gifs 😍
hello!!! omg YES i love their lil neck kisses they’re so soft and pure 🥺i just posted it!! thank you so much for requesting this and for the wonderful compliment 💞
[i said if ya hit me w a fic title and i’d clap back w a drabble]
roads and rivers (is how we ended up here), Serena/Bernie (Holby City [part of the we can share a heartbeat for the night (share our hearts for the rest of our lives) aka they meet on the maternity ward AU also aka the Bernie/Marcus/Serena throuple verse but currently absent Marcus]) teen, 3.5k+ big shout out to Lo for the title and also beta-ing 💖 tags: family outings, friends to lovers, first kiss, soft gay feels.
‘God, I’m not looking forward to holidays,’ Serena huffs, shoulders slumping, on the other side of the table. ‘I mean, I am—it’ll be nice for the kids to have some times off and I know they’re excited—but I’m dreading Ellie stomping around the house and terrorising the nanny when she’s bored.’
Bernie barks out a laugh before Serena pins her with a glare.
‘Sorry, sorry,’ she apologises, palms up in surrender. She sucks in a shaky breath and stares at the mug cradled in her hand; ponders a few moments before offering up an idea.
‘You could always try tiring her out before the holidays start? Take her out shopping on your weekend off, make a day of it and don’t let her catch on you’re bribing her for good behaviour.’
She looks up to see Serena smiling like the sun.
‘God, Bernie, that’s brilliant. Oh, we could go to London!’ She’s so bright Bernie has to look away, proud smile on her own lips, congratulating herself on a good idea. ‘You should come too!’
Bernie’s head shoots back up and she blinks.
‘Oh come on, don’t look at me like that, when was the last time you left Holby?’ Bernie opens her mouth to reply. ‘Christmas doesn’t count!’ Bernie closes her mouth. ‘And you said Cam’s friends were going camping that weekend?’ Bernie nods. ‘So with Marcus away till next month it’ll just be you and Lottie in the house. Oh, please? The girls would love it, and you could use a change of scenery.’
Bernie mulls it over, nibbling her bottom lip, looks up at Serena’s hopeful face and knows she could never say no. She nods with a huff. ‘Fine, fine!’ She’s too far away to prod Serena in the chest so settles for pointing at her and glaring. ‘But if this is just a ruse to take me shopping, don’t expect me to come quietly.’
‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’ Serena shakes her head, face suddenly solemn. ‘But…if we do end up clothes shopping,’ she starts and Bernie rolls her eyes. ‘I promise you can sit it out and, I don’t know, you can hold my coat or something.’
Bernie considers the offer, thinking it over as she looks at Serena’s shy, hopeful face, finally relenting with a curt nod. She gets a shining smile as reward and drinks it in, sitting back in her chair with a smirk and letting Serena’s voice wash over her, as she rambles about all the places they might visit.
*
Bernie drives them to the station just past the crack of dawn; Serena wide eyed and excited while the girls grumbling in the back seat. They don’t stop whining until Serena flicks on the stereo and starts blaring the Spice Girls—their newest obsession—and starts singing at the top of her lungs to drown them out.
Bernie joins in the singing and girls start yelling, giggling, squealing, as Bernie warbles through wrong lyric after wrong lyric, but continues on regardless. They’re all in stitches by the time they get to the station—ten minutes earlier than ten minutes early—tears streaming down their faces as Bernie powers through the rest of the song.
Serena is still giggling as she buys their tickets, Bernie is still humming as she waits with the girls on the platform, Charlotte and Elinor still singing and now dancing as the train draws due.
Serena joins them with three minutes to spare, two coffees in a tray and paper bag stuffed with pastries, to find them still dancing. She grumbles about children having far too much energy for this time of day and Bernie smiles at the false irritation. Bernie may be an early riser but she’s as keen for an early morning snooze as the next woman; it’s Serena’s who’s consistently awake in the early morning, even when she doesn’t need to be, and she’s always chipper once she’s had her coffee.
Serena flicks her eyes to the time—one minute out—and then to the tray in her hand. Bernie sees the longing, hungry look in Serena’s eyes, know she won’t drink till they’re sitting, and prays the train isn’t delayed.
*
It isn’t, thankfully; it’s right on schedule, in fact. Apparently so are they, Bernie realises, when Serena pulls out an itinerary out of her handbag two minutes after they step off the train in London and starts rattling off the list of places they’re going to see today.
Bernie’s not sure what else she expected—of course Serena has a schedule, of course she organised things to make they won’t miss anywhere that girls asked to visit, that she wants to see, or the one place Bernie mentioned she’d like to go—and Bernie follows along willingly, keeping their brood together and trailing behind Serena as they roam around the city.
It’s far more efficient that her “wander around until something seems fun” approach to family outings—the way that always makes Marcus sigh but the children cackle with glee, trying their luck as they tug on Bernie’s hand towards yet another ice cream store, fingers still sticky from the last daytime dessert—she’s happy to carry the sandwiches in her backpack. She likes that Serena has forgiven her for the last debacle, that she trusts Bernie to keep them all feed this time.
She’s reconsidering her gratitude by the time they reach the aquarium. This place might have been Bernie’s idea but she’s certain she’s got blisters forming under blisters, lunchtime feels miles away, and all she wants to do it sit down and strap some bandaids to her toes.
She keeps her grumbles to herself as they walk through the corridors: she sees Charlotte spark up as a shark swims overhead, sees Ellie walk up close to a sting ray with her mouth gaping open, sees Serena silently coo over a cluster of nudibranch. Sees them enjoy themselves and all is forgiven.
She and Serena do their best to keep an eye on the kids racing over the mesh flooring, echoes reverberates around the glass cases as they marvel at all the underwater creatures. She has to remind Ellie not to tap on the glass three times, till Lottie starts doing it for her, as they wanders past tank after tank, filled to the brim with aquatic life. She finds herself standing beside Serena more and more with each passing room, till they exit, elbows brushing, and walk out into the gift shop as a group.
They walk along the side of the Thames, crossing over Westminster Bridge. Serena stop in the middle—calls out to the children to wait a moment—and leans against the railing. Bernie sidles up next to her, a child on either side of them, and they all look out over the water.
Bernie closes her eyes, to soak in the sun, as they bask in happy silence. A few minutes later she feels someone tap on her arm; opens her eyes to see Serena smiling at her, Lottie yanking on Serena’s hand, Ellie a few feet behind them and further way.
‘Come on!’ she urges, stumbling backwards, beckoning Bernie forward, laughing loud. ‘The kids are hungry.’
Bernie rushes to catch up, blinking sunspots out of her eyes; slips her hand into Lottie’s, still clinging tight to Serena. She smiles as they they both raise her daughter off the ground without a word, as she laughs long and loud, swinging an arc between them.
*
They settle in the speckled shade of a silver birch—Elinor’s choice—the light breeze offering further respite from the summer sun as they munch on the picnic Serena cobbled them together.
Serena starts snacking on a punnet of strawberries half way through her egg and cress and Bernie nicks the other half of her sandwich—Serena catches her in the act, doesn’t say a word, eyes sparking—and offers her a strawberry.
Bernie leans forward, her thieving hands full, bites into the pink flesh, just shy of the green top, groaning as the tang washes over her tongue. She sits back as she chews, swallows, content; splays out onto her back and stares up at the clouds.
She only sits up when she remembers she has another half a sandwich to eat. Sits up to see Serena smiling at her fondly before popping the last strawberry in her mouth.
‘Where are we going next, Mum?’ Ellie pipes up when she’s finished her sandwich. Serena hums thoughtful and pulls out the schedule; Bernie can’t help groaning.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean that,’ she mumbles when Serena’s head snaps towards her, looking away to pick at the edge of the blanket. ‘It’s been a lovely day, really.’
Serena smiles gently and reaches over to pat the top of Bernie’s hand. ‘I was going to say…’ Bernie looks at her, curious and suspicious, and Serena quirks an eyebrow. ‘That we can do whatever we like with the afternoon. Personally, I’m hoping for a snooze and then a quiet train trip home,’ she says glibly, eyeing Bernie knowingly, smirking when Bernie starts to blush.
‘Oh, um, that sounds nice,’ Bernie mumbles, grateful and embarrassed in equal measure. ‘I’ll keep on eye on everything while you have a kip?’
Serena nods, settles down on the rug, kicking the backpack onto the grass as she stretches out her legs. Bernie yanks the bag towards her to use as a pillow as they girls run off to play faeries. Bernie lies down, perfect vantage perfect for watching the girls chase each other around tree trunks, while Serena naps beside her.
*
The trip home is uneventful, Lottie half asleep against Serena’s shoulder and Ellie bopping in her seat beside Bernie.
The conductor announces Holby Station next stop and Bernie straps herself back into the backpack and bundles Charlotte into her arms; takes the lead while Serena checks the seats and ushers Elinor up the corridor and holds her hand as they wait in front of the door.
It takes them a minute or so to realise they’ve stood up far too early and Bernie’s arms ache by the time the door open and they step out onto the platform. She breathes in she adjusts her daughter on her hips: Holby air has never smelt so sweet.
Serena sneaks behind the wheel while Bernie straps Charlotte into the backseat; her eyes sparkle mischief as Bernie sinks into the passenger seat.
Bernie decidedly does not look at Serena as she clips her seatbelt, shuffles herself comfortable, and stares out the window. As if she hadn’t had enough of that on the train ride home.
Serena snort, starts the car, starts driving them home; takes one left turn too many and pulls up outside Bernie’s favourite curry house. Bernie turns to finally look at her, brow furrowed, as Serena leans over to rummage around in her handbag.
‘In you go,’ Serena urges, shoving her wallet into Bernie’s hand. ‘Unless you feel like cooking tonight? Because I’m certainly not.’
Bernie hums agreement, smiling; steps out onto the curb and starts practicing their order memorised long ago.
*
It’s still light when they pull into Bernie’s driveway but both children are fast asleep, lulled by the low radio and hum of the road after a long day. Bernie bundles out of the car first and opens the back door as quietly as she can, unclips Ellie and scoops her up gently. Ellie snuffles as she flops her head into the crook of Bernie’s arm and Serena’s head pops up over the roof of the car.
‘I can carry her,’ she says, shutting the car door behind her.
Bernie shakes her head gently. ‘I’ve already got her.’ She walks around the car towards the footpath to Serena’s house. ‘You get the door and keep Lottie company till I get back?’
‘I’ll grab her, they can bunk in together,’ Serena says as her keys jangle in her hand. ‘It’ll be a nice excuse to have pancakes for breakfast,’ she adds cheerily, bustling past Bernie on her way back to the car.
Bernie leaves the front door open and flicks on a few lights on her way to the playroom; she’s tucking Ellie into the bottom bunk when Serena walks in.
‘Oh, leave me the hard job,’ Serena huffs good naturedly—they both know Charlotte always takes the top bunk— as she readjusts the sleeping child on her hip. ‘How’m supposed to get her up there?’
‘Here,’ Bernie says, arms out, walking forward with a smile. ‘Let me.’
She grips Lottie under the arms, pulls her out of Serena’s, hauls her up high and plonks her behind into the top mattress. Serena bends down to check on Ellie as Bernie slips of Lottie’s shoes before ushering her awake enough to crawl into bed.
Charlotte settles as Serena stands up on her tiptoes, tucking her as she says good night.
‘Night, mum,’ Lottie mumbles sleepily and Bernie sidles up to Serena.
‘Night sweetie,’ she says, stroking Charlotte’s hair. ‘You too, Ellie.’
Elinor responds with a snore. The two adults bite back a round of giggles; pad towards the hall, switch off the light, shut the door quietly behind them.
*
‘God, I could murder a glass of wine,’ Serena says as she pads down the stairs half an hour later, freshly showered and newly clothed. She walks into the kitchen to find a glass of shiraz already breathing on the bench. ‘Oh, you angel!’ she exclaims as Bernie rummages through the cutlery draw to find forks for dinner.
Bernie looks up through her fringe, smiling shy: she likes making Serena happy. ‘Thought you could do with a reward after today,’ she says with a shrug. ‘You wrangled us all day and bought dinner.’
‘Too right,’ Serena replies with a smirk, picking up the glass and breathing in the aroma. She hums, contented, takes her first sip before leaning against the bench. ‘Need any help?’
‘Nope, got everything.’ Bernie shakes her head, a touch proud of being so on top of things. ‘You just drink your wine.’
‘Guess I shall then.’ Serena smiles against the lip of her glass and looks out the kitchen window. ‘Seems like a it’ll be a nice night, fancy eating outside?’
Bernie looks over her shoulder, sees the clouds primrose and peach against a cyan sky, turns back with a nod. ‘Get the door and I’ll bring it out.’
Serena winks, grabs the wine, opens up the back door; settles the bottle and her glass on the table and scurries back to the kitchen. She grabs a bag of food off the bench, blatantly ignoring Bernie’s protests that she can manage on her own, and scampers back outside with their bag of sides.
She sits down and helps herself to naan, happily munching away as Bernie joins her with everything else. They spread it all out on the table, Bernie making sure the tikka masala is nearest to Serena while Serena shuffles things until the lamb vindaloo is by Bernie’s right elbow. They pick and chose from the array as they load up their plates.
Serena claims the last of the butter chicken and Bernie reaches over to steal a piece of meat; ends up with the largest bit on Serena’s plate and stammers an apology—she only wanted some—while Serena laughs and pushes Bernie’s fork away. Bernie relents, accepts the offer, and makes sure Serena gets the last vegetable pakora.
They’re both stuffed by the time they mop up the last of sauce.
Serena sits back with a heavy sigh, rubbing her stomach, and picks up her wine. Bernie stacks the plates, taking them back inside before Serena can find it in her to move, and dumps in them in the sink to deal with later.
She grabs a second glass and heads back outside, notices the royal blue of the sky and darkening cloud, and switches on the outside porch light; thinks about cloud watching of that afternoon, turns around to grab the throw from the back of the couch, strides past Serena and the table and out into the middle of the grass.
She flaps out the blanket, smooth it down; turns to beckon Serena over, brandishing her empty glass.
‘Come on then,’ she urges, and Serena giggles, eyes delighted, grabs her glass and rushes to join, pouring Bernie’s glass before she settling down next to her.
*
Bernie counts the last drops of the bottle dripping into Serena’s glass, both their faces tinged pink and smiling. She shakes to shift the last, stubborn, fourteenth drop, splashing it onto Serena’s hand. She laughs as Serena’s tough darts out to lick it off the flesh by her thumb, feels her cheeks flush as Serena moans appreciatively.
‘Think we’ll need another bottle?’ Bernie prompts, already shifting her weight to stand, assuming the answer.
She pauses a Serena actually mulls it over before replying. ‘Maybe one more glass?’
Bernie nods and jumps up, smiling; walks back inside and pokes around the wine rack until she finds the second bottle of the label they’ve just drank—she knows Serena always buys in pairs—and barks triumphant when she finds it.
She trudges back outside, grabbing another blanket on the way; lets Serena deal with the cork while she drapes the throw over Serena’s shoulder.
She sits down, passes over her glass, and huddles in close as Serena’s pours. She reaches out to take back the glass and the blanket falls off her shoulders; she grumbles as she pulls it right and holds it tight as she sips, as Serena sips.
She tries not to grumble as the blanket keeps falling off Serena’s shoulders, to drop low on her back with each mouthful; knows she fails when Serena flicks off the blanket with a huff and necks the last third of her glass.
‘Sorry, Serena, I didn’t—’ Bernie cuts herself off as Serena rolls onto her knees, shaking her head, and unwraps the blanket from Bernie’s shoulders. She plonks back to sitting, shuffles down to the middle of the rug; flicks the blanket down over her feet, and holds the other side up.
Serena turns back to look at Bernie, eyes expectant. ‘Come on then, hurry up,’ she says, eyes on Bernie’s half full glass. ‘It’s cold.’
Bernie blinks, smiles, skulls her wine; wiggles in beside Serena and follows her lead to lay down. She breaths deep and feels her body relax against the ground, lying beside Serena, looking up at the night sky, at the twinkling stars, crickets chirping in the night air.
‘Did I ever mentioned Ellie went through an astronomy phase when we were in America?’ Serena asks, breaking their silence after long minutes of stargazing. Bernie hums out a ‘maybe’—the fact sounds familiar but she’s not sure if she knew before now—and Serena chuckles. ‘Well she did, went mad for it for good two months until she got bored—it was quite impressive actually—and dragged me along too. I ended up learning quite a lot. I wonder…’ she trails off for a few moments, humming to herself, before pointing towards a cluster above her head.
‘Here, see this one?’ Bernie tilts her chin up to see better. ‘That’s Pegasus. And that one.’ Serena moves to points up into the sky right above them and Bernie drops her chin. ‘That’s Hercules.’
‘I’ve heard of them,’ Bernie pipes up and Serena chuckles. Bernie can see her eyes crinkle in the dark.
‘And over there, those three stars,’ she adds, reaching across Bernie to point down towards their toes, her body curling closer as Bernie follows her finger. ‘That’s you!’ she says brightly, giggling at her own joke. ‘Well, your hair anyway,’ she corrects herself, dropping her hand. She props herself up on her elbow and looks down at Bernie. ‘But I expect you already knew that…’
Bernie shakes her head. ‘I always zoned out whenever people started talking about my name, to be honest. There’s a play as well?’ Serena nods and Bernie shrugs. ‘Haven’t the foggiest about either.’
‘Ah, well then, Berenice was an Egyptian Queen,’ Serena starts with a smile, checks to see if recognition registers on Bernie’s face: there’s a flicker and not much more, but it’s a start, and Serena charges ahead. ‘Right, so, her second husband—the first shagged her mother and she had him assassinated, I know! Riveting stuff,’ Serena adds in a rush as Bernie blinks, astounded, at the aside. ‘So husband went to wage war with Syria so she cut off all her hair and offered it to Aphrodite in exchange for his safe return, and it worked!’
‘Lucky lady,’ Bernie quips. ‘Maybe I should have held off on the trim, the rest of it might have come in handy now,’ she muses, smushing her chin into her chest to try and get a look at her cropped curls.
‘Too bad you already offered it to the salon floor,’ Serena teases, reaching out to flick at the ends of Bernie’s hair. ‘Though it’s worth it,’ she adds thoughtfully, ‘knowing you’ll never get sick in it again.’
‘Definitely,’ Bernie says seriously, vehemently, and Serena smiles, drops her chin, chuckles deep. Bernie chortles too and Serena looks back up, gazes at Bernie, creases of her cheeks still cutting deep.
Bernie blinks, at Serena’s face: shining down from barely a foot away, shining brighter than a galaxy glittering behind her. Something blooms in her heart, branches out through her veins, takes root in her spine—she’s so beautiful, is the only thought, the only thing she can feel, at that moment, is Serena’s beauty, the most beautiful—Bernie flicks her eyes down to Serena’s still smiling lips, looks back up to see her sparkling eyes; shifts up onto her elbow and brushes her fingertips over the the nape of Serena’s neck before she realises what she’s doing.
She’s so soft, is the only thought that runs through Bernie’s mind as she kisses Serena, as Serena kisses her back, before she realises what she’s doing—what she’s done—pulls back, panicking, to see Serena hovering close, her eyes still closed and her lips parted.
She holds her breath as Serena’s eyelids open slowly and she blinks down at Bernie. She breathes out as Serena’s eyes turn dark and intense, wanting in the dead of night; grunts as Serena dives forward to capture Bernie’s lips, push her hard against the ground, hands frantic and searching until they settle on her shoulders.
Bernie breaths into the kiss, feels herself relax, feels Serena relax against her, as they keep kissing with the stars twinkling above them.
4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?
It’s probably “in the middle before i knew” or “for you alone i will be weak.” I think those are the ones that I’ve seen recced the most and have the most kudos. Granted, they were also written in 2014, so they’ve had more time to get kudos.
23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?
People are really lovely to me. The coolest reviews are the ones where you can tell people took the time to identify what they liked and express how much they enjoyed it. There was someone who once said they would read the tax code if I wrote it or something similar to that. That cracked me up because writing statute (slightly more interesting statute) is not very far from what I do for a living at the moment.
35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?
YA KNOW Master/Doctor always slips in. I like imagining their Academy days. I don’t think I have the ability to write them or the depth of background knowledge about the universe or the Classic series to ever do them justice, but I do enjoy them in their own fucked up way. I try to honor canonical romantic relationships in fic though.
I've probably mentioned it a billion times but you are an ANGEL making these gorgeous gifs of these gorgeous stupid pair in love all the time. Thank youuuu. <3333
you’re very very welcome! making gifs is the perfect excuse to rewatch all these cute gorgeous precious perfect scenes again, frame by frame :)
I just wanted to say, your 'perception' fic was one of the most gorgeous things I have ever ever read. I wanna keep it in my pocket and pull it out every time i feel sad. So beautiful! Thank you!
i am so touched and overwhelmed by this i snuck on my phone to read it like fourteen times at work. what a sweet awesome compliment! i want to bind it into a tiny pocket book for you!
I just wanted to say that your latest gifset of David and Patrick slow dancin’ in the cafe is Unbelievably Gorgeous and a lot and destroyed me and made my whole day, so thank you for making it!!! I’m rewatching season five on my very chill birthday and it’s my favourite scene of anything ever. 😍😍😍😍
wait first OF ALL HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! i hope you are having an incredible day and that the next year brings you nothing but joy, happiness and good health 💞
and wowowow thank you so much 😭 i’m so overwhelmed by the kindness in this fandom i dont know what to do with myself qweoierjnew. that is so sweet of you to say!!! as long as i made your day along with destroying you then im okay with that 🥰
