If you were forced to describe the hockey season in one word, it would be long. You knew that your husband, Kevin Bieksa, would probably say the opposite, but he wasn't the one who acted almost as a single mother for three quarters of the year. You loved your kids, more than you ever thought possible, but they were young and full of energy and questions and, without Kevin, you had to be on your game all of the time.
Sure, your husband had home games here and there but for such short spans of time that it didn't lift any of the wait off your shoulders.
Hockey had always been apart of your life, even before you met Kevin. You had countless memories of your dad jumping with joy as his favorite team scored and the mesmerizing movements of the players as they danced across the screen. Your love for hockey had even played a role in you meeting your husband, and an even bigger one in him falling in love with you.
But, despite your passion for the sport, you had to admit that your favorite time of year was when you had Kevin back home, less worried about training and playing and more focused on you and your family.
That's why when the Ducks lost in the playoffs against the Predators, your grief was short lived. It still hurt to watch your husband fall so short of his Stanley Cup dream, but it hurt a little less knowing what that meant for you. You knew it was selfish but you couldn't help feeling it.
Besides, the frown on his face when he got home was instantly wiped away when Cole and Reese tackled him in a bear hug as he walked through the door.
After he fed them, bathed them and read them both to sleep, he finally laid down next to you in your shared bed, kissing your forehead.
"I'm sorry, darling" you whispered, trying to suppress the happiness that was present.
You turned to face him, so close that the tips of your noses were touching. You were so comfortable together, every movement so natural. So different from the calculated kisses and touches at the start of your relationship. You barely had to think about it any more.
"It's okay. Thank you though. I missed you, (Y/N). I mean, I missed the kiddos, but I missed you."
Your heavy eyelids close against tired resistance, but you still manage to smile.
"I missed you" you whisper, your words slurring together in a half awake haze
"Good night, love. Tomorrow we will go get breakfast like we used to. As a family. Together"
"Promise?" You manage to say, tucking your head under his chin.
"Promise"
The words follow you into your sleep, a heavy arm wrapping you up once more as the world fades around you.
***
With two kids as young as yours, sleeping in was a made up dream that was so isolated from your reality, you forgot it was a thing. Your instinctive clock got you up at 6:45, expecting to hear crying or yelling or both. When you rolled over and realized that the house was peaceful and your missing husband must be taking care of it, you happily shut your eyes and let your body have the rest you deserved. You reminded yourself to thank him for that later.
When you finally strolled out of bed at around 8:45, you quickly got dressed and threw your hair into a messy bun on top of your head. You knew that if you were going to get the kids motivated for breakfast, you would have to get them dressed soon.
As you rushed down the stairs to grab them to get ready, you were shocked to see that they were already dressed, waiting on the couch as they listened to Kevin tell stories from the season.
A smile broke out on your face as you walked over to join them, hugging both of your kids before kissing your husband to say good morning.
"Thank you" you mouthed to him, earning a playful wink in return as he picked up Reese to head towards the car.
When both of them were strapped in and ready to go, you headed to your favorite diner that had the best chocolate chip pancakes and hash browns for miles.
It felt so right to have your family reunited again. Kevin was singing loudly and obnoxiously to some old rock song, and your kids were giggling uncontrollably. The world was at balance again.
When you got to the restaurant, you got your favorite booth near the back. You let the kids order milkshakes, strawberry for Cole and chocolate for Reese, as you and Kevin sipped on sugary lattes. The food was just as good as always, and the whole ordeal went perfectly: the kids were getting more food on their faces than in their mouths, and Kevin was laughing a little too hard at them for it.
That was until Kev's phone rang. Within seconds, you knew the call wasn't going to go in your favor, based on the grumble noises you heard on your husband’s end and the deep set frown that made its way up to his eyes. When he got off the phone and confirmed this, your smile disappeared quickly as he got up and walked out, leaving your kids and you to watch him leave yet again.
The rest of the day went slowly. The kids weren't happy anymore, fighting and arguing more than usual in the absence of their dad. You had a lower patience tolerance than normal, snapping at them way too quickly and raising the tensions impossibly higher.
You knew you shouldn't be mad; after all, it's not like Kevin could really choose when the PR days were. But you couldn't help feeling like you took second place to Kevin's career in his life.
You had always dreamed of marrying a man who loved you more than anything, who would put you before the rest of the world in a heartbeat. You now couldn't picture that man being anyone but Kevin, but it stung a little to know that this dream could never be a reality because of hockey.
He still wasn't home by the kid's bedtimes so you had to do it yourself again, struggling to get them to sleep, so different from the effortless way your husband had done it the night before.
After you had managed to do so, you lay awake in bed, unable to sleep yourself.
However, when Kevin finally got home, you pretended to be already sleeping, not wishing to confront him about it tonight.
"(Y/N)?" He said, coming into the room and turning the lights on.
You ignored him, turning away from him a bit more. He came to sit at the edge of the bed, resting a hand on your leg.
"(Y/N), I know you’re awake. And I know you’re mad. Trust me, I get it. But can we at least talk about? Remember how we promised to never go asleep angry?"
You don't answer again, instead choosing to bury your head further into your pillow.
"Okay, fine. You don't have to talk. But I can. (Y/N), I love you. So damn much. I love you and I love our kids and I love our life more than I could possibly love anything in the world. Hockey is my passion, but when it comes down to it, it's just a sport. It's one hell of a sport, but it's still a sport. I work hard because I do love it, but, most importantly, I work hard because I love you. I want our kids to have the best life they can and the only way I can insure that is by getting up and playing hockey. I'm sorry that I left today, I wish I could have stayed. I'm so sorry, (Y/N). Forgive me?"
And how could you not? It was too hard staying mad at him. So, in one motion, you rolled over, sat up, and pecked him on the lips with a quick smile.
"Forgiven" you say, pushing further into his mouth as he smiles against you.
"So quickly? God, I thought I was going to have to pull out all of the stops.."
"The stops?" You ask, teasingly.
"Flowers, chocolates, dates, massages—"
"Massages?"
"Massages."
"Well it wouldn't hurt you to start there... maybe I'll forgive you just a little more..." you say, smiling as he grabs your shoulders and flips you over, running his hands softly down your back before pressing at the tension in your shoulders.
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