Dogz & Katz on the Sunshine Coast - Three Cat Night
I am a fellow feline writing to you from my foodbowl-top computer. Don't worry, there won't be bits of yummy Tuna Alpo Made Specially for Cats stuck to this email. My foodbowl is empty. Unfortunately, it's never full for very long. Don't you just hate that? I haven't had much luck convincing the humans to give me second helpings. Do you get seconds? What has been your strategy? I've tried showing them a lot more attention than I usually do. I already show them a lot of attention when they present all the usual snack opportunities - you know, like when they stand up, or sit down, or turn over in bed, or snore, or head to the kitchen, or head to the bathroom, or come home, or leave the house, or make a phone call, or look something up online, or look in my direction, or breathe, or tell me to go sit down.
To that, I have added coming when called (I'm sometimes distracted with my sniffing and I don't hear them calling), and accommodating all their requests to do all those stupid tricks they like us to do. I realize those tricks are somewhat humiliating for us cats, but actually, I'm quite good at giving a paw, rolling over, fetching a stick, and my begging skills are biscuit-worthy. None of this has resulted in second helpings let alone many snacks. I keep at it doggedly - um, as it were, of course. Not that I would know anything about being a dog.
I'm a full-blooded dyed-in-the-snout Who would want to be one of those big noisy smelly uncouth brutes anyway? How are your begging skills, by the way?
I understand you are in a ruff ruff situation. I will take a sniff and a drool around both fellow felines and fellow OS X Feline users. Maybe we can find you your Fitting Feline.
Speaking of Fitting Felines, I don't mean to hound you or anything, but maybe we could get together sometime? I know this secluded spot by the ocean where there's a nicely rotting fish. Do you have a friend? We could have a Three Cat Night.
By the way, it's a really bad photo of me. The lighting makes me look like a barracuda or some kind of junkyard cat. I'm actually a shorthaired well-built and well-hung tom of mixed heritage, and I've begun orthodentics to correct my underbite.
I hope I don't come across as opportunistic or too alpha. My meow is worse than my mastication. Let's take a break together from this cat-eat-cat world.
Wishing you all the best in hot-dog snacks and smelly chew toys,
Ralph
(Formerly Pedigreed, but mistook it for the short human's homework)
"Who needs television when you have cats?"