Day 5: Hands for holding
Rated Mature, Eshonai/Bila, ace!Eshonai
Eshonai emerged from the storm as a new woman, her heart as light as a leaf, her legs running like a river through the chasms. She jumped and whooped as she ran, hearing the echoes of her voice reverberate across the plateaus like an embrace being returned.
She felt so alive!
Eshonai attracted giggling windspren as she ran, her soft feet flapping against the wet stone. The Rhythm of Excitement thrummed under her skin, keeping the beat alongside the thwaps of her hairstrands flapping against her back, the hah-hahs of her panting breaths, and the whip-whipping of wet fabric. She jumped, landing square in the middle of a big puddle, and laughed as the sunlight cast the splash into hundreds of little sparkling gems.
Just as they’d planned, a figure waved at her from the edge of the closest plateau to the city. Bila hefted a large bag over her shoulder. “I brought dinner!” she called, jumping and grinning.
Eshonai waved back eagerly as she ran, thinking of all the things she’d like to do with Bila. After Eshonai had confessed the disaster she’d had in mateform with Rlain, Bila had convinced her to try mateform again, this time with a female. And of course, given that Bila was inclined to both males and females, and she was one of Eshonai’s closest friends, it seemed like a natural pairing.
“You look absolutely delectable!” Bila said to Appreciation as Eshonai finally met up with her. They began walking together back to the mateform apartments, skirting the outside edge of town so as not to bother anyone else.
“Shut up,” Eshonai said to Amusement. “I forgot how energetic I feel in mateform. And how hungry. What do you have in there, anyway?”
Bila twisted her pack away from Eshonai. “It’s mostly blankets and pillows, but I promise there's food too. We can check it out after we mate. I’ve been saving myself all day, and I cannot wait to get my mouth on you!”
The first reaction Eshonai had was Ew.
Oh no, that’s not what I’m supposed to feel… It was happening again.
Bila kept talking, heedless of Eshonai’s reaction. “Your boobs and belly are so fat in this form, I am physically restraining myself from touching them right now. And you’re still so tall! And your lips look incredible. Eshonai, Thude taught me a place I can touch on your ass, you are going to love it. We can shower in the fountain after. Oh! And Brianlia is in mateform too, I saw her when I was choosing our spot today, if you want to take things a little further…”
But Eshonai didn’t hear any of it. Her thoughts spun away like an errant wind. Mouths are for eating, talking, laughing. Hands are for holding, carrying, climbing. Asses are for sitting, jumping, running.
I want to use my eyes to see all the different kinds of greens in the chasms.
I want to use my fingertips to dig in the crem for haspers.
I want to hear the wind blowing through newly-discovered forests...
“...Eshonai?”
She realized she’d reached the door of the apartment, but she couldn’t bring herself to go inside. Inside was the opposite of what she wanted.
Eshonai sighed. “Look, Bila…” she said to Consolation.
Bila’s face softened. “Really? Not females either?”
Eshonai shook her head, feeling vaguely ashamed.
“Well, good thing I planned for this contingency too,” Bila said, and dug into her pack, pulling out another, smaller sack. “Here’s dinner for one and a towel. Go on. I can always play with Brianlia.”
“I…really?” Eshonai blinked.
“Don’t insult my intelligence, Eshonai,” Bila said, waggling her finger at Eshonai as if she were a child. “You begged me for my help and then you dragged your feet every step along the way. I may be in mateform but I’m not an idiot. You have your answer, you silly scholar. You’ve proven your point. Now go fuck the sky like you really want.”
Bila's words hit like a bucket of stormwater, but her smile was warm. Eshonai supposed there were worse ways to find out she wasn’t interested in females either. Humming to Consolation, she accepted the sack, dug in it for a snack, then slung it over her shoulder. “It’s not you, I promise,” she said, trying to think of something nice to say.
“Oh, I know,” Bila said to Confidence. “If I can’t do it for you, then no one can.”
They laughed together to Peace, and Eshonai felt a weight leave her. Taking a bite of her food, she turned away, walking into the sun.
This is what my hands should be holding, she thought, feeling the scratchiness of the bag against her skin. For better or for worse, even in mateform she preferred the caress of the sun to the caress of another listener.
Her heart felt light again, and she attuned the Rhythm of Joy as she walked, her clothes and skin drying in the sunlight. Maybe this wouldn't be a total disaster.