This is a request that as made by @dacookiemonsterfinder77
This id a little Ray x You thing. A stand alone story! Sweet and sad I suppose! Not reread more than once. No warnings except for a little horn dog behavior! A bit of an announcement at the end! Enjoy my friens!
Comfort in you without you here
(Ray x You)
Dog days. Was that even the right way to describe how you have felt these past few days? Every passing moment felt too long, lonely with Ray gone so much, worried about him, your family, the possibility of double coming back sometime down the road. Everything just felt heavy with no help. No outlet. Just you.
After moving in with Ray that’s what you called this silence space now. Home. Keys discarded, jacket tossed aside in the otherwise clean apartment. Today felt lonelier than ever. There are only so many family phone calls to fill the void, friends are busy with their own lives and you HATE feeling like a burden. Comfort. That’s what you needed, comfort. Something familiar to you that can offer that. What could you do? It’s not like there is anything that could possibly make up for the loneliness. Not completely anyway. That’s how you found yourself here. Digging through Ray’s closet holding sweaters close. None felt or smelled like him. Didn’t bring the comfort you sought out. That’s when you had an idea, not exactly a sane one in your mind but Ray was a really hygienic person so it should be fine.
Many discarded sweaters pooled on the floor like a carpet as you dug through the laundry. Tossing things left and right, searching until you found it. The holy grail. Not his signature maroon sweater but his Deep blue sweater. Drawing it close to you, you inhale a deep breath. Yes, this is it. Smelled like him, your comfort. Your Ray. Holding it didn’t offer as much as you wanted so you wore it as if it was your own. Attempting to nap didn’t work, the bed just felt empty and cold. Too big for a single body. Moving to the couch felt better, as if the back of the sofa added a sort of barrier to you. As if another person's back touched your own. How pathetic you think to yourself as tears welt up in your eyes. Why did everything have to feel so heavy? Why? Did it really matter though? Life will still go on. Work, eat, sleep, basics in living will still have to be met. Why not just let yourself cry till you fall asleep? Seemed like a good idea.
Ray POV
Richard, the new PR representative for Ray just. Kept. Talking. Work was supposed to be over at least fifteen minutes ago right now. I had half a mind not to just take his head off right here and now. My body feels exhausted and I am way past done for today. Training newbies, still saving the world, not to mention the tedious makeup and gearing up that take well over an hour. Maybe even two. I don’t care about this scheduling meeting, the PR people just fill up my schedule anyway, my input be damned. There isn’t much I control in my life as far as the oh so glorious hero kingdom goes. Maybe it’s the opposite? There is only ONE person in my life who keeps ME in control. You. “Mr. Star…” If I didn’t have them, this world would burn by my own hand. “Mr. Star…!” Truly just you. Only. You. “Ray!”
The sound of my own name industry makes me feel irritated even further. “What?” I say with a slight involuntary growl. “This Saturday, we need to do that partner interview.” A sigh can even express my distaste. Never a Saturday off. By mouth I just agree to it. “Fine, I’ll do that.” Standing up with a stretch first, I adjust the duffle bag strap with my hero suit stuffed in over my shoulder. “Do whatever you want, it doesn’t really matter to me. As long as I just don’t work on Saturday.” I shoot Hershal a knowing glare. “I’m leaving, this meeting is adjusting, you two can do whatever you need to without me.” Richard gets to his feet. “Ah! No! You can’t leave! We still have so much to discuss!” I ignored him heading off the door till he spoke up again with a tone that certainly didn’t match his stature. “If you leave, I will make your schedule so full you won’t have even a good night's sleep!”
Hearshal sighs, I smile at the door, pause, turn to face him, the moment my gaze meets Richard's, his smug smile evaporates. “I know your are…new here. I don’t know who you worked with before but that won’t work on me Richard. So, let me just say this in a way so straight forward you will never have to guess where you stand with me. Richard.” He sinks down into his chair, Hershal rubbing his temples. “You only have this job because of me. Someone had to fill the position after I-“ I let my eyes fill in the blanks with the threat of Red Diamond. “-I’ll let you guess.” Richard went pale. “Ray, please, if you want to leave just leave. Don’t make this into something.” Hershal says with a sigh pushing his hand through his balding silver hair. “That I can do.” With that I left the room. Did I actually kill my last PR lead? No, she left on maternity leave but no one knew why. After all, she worked from home after work. Out she was pregnant because it’s supposedly a hazard for others who work at the company to know. Especially since people suspected she hooked up with a hero.
It didn’t take long to get home, taking a “speed walk” though back alleys until I made it home to the elevator ride up to the hall at the top that leads to my apartment. “Star, I’m home.” I say as I close the door. No response. I can hear them snoring softly though so, no worry there. My suit needed to be washed and as much as I wanted to cuddle them close, responsibly did need to be done lest I never get to it. The more I think about it, the less I want to do it. With a sigh I toss the duffle on the ground of the laundry room and toss the stinking suit into the wash on its own. Leaving the laundry room I head to our room craving sweatpants and a long sleeve compression t-shirt. Having showered at work I could just hop into my own clothes at home- why is my laundry on the floor? “Star? What are you even looking for?” I say to myself. A small smile, maybe they are looking for a ring? “I will, just wait for me a little longer, my Star.”
Picking up the laundry was quick work and now it was time off my favorite part of the day. You. His Star. His reason for being. His obsession. His- ew no. Keep the weird to a minimum. I'm still trying to not get ahead of myself like I did before. In respect and adoration for you of course. I knew you weren’t in bed, your snoring was too close to the door, the couch was a new spot but hey, people spice things up in different ways anyway. There you were. Huddled in a fetal position with- oh. I see. A familiar sweater adored you. Oh you poor, sweet, deprived little thing. How pretty, how cute you looked in my- the moment of building arousal stopped when I saw your face. Tear stained and still puffy with a flushed red. There was clearly more to this than I thought. Leaning down, sitting on my knees I rest my head close to your face. Reaching out, pushing hair back from your sweet face. My own heart sinks. Why are you so distraught? Did I miss something? I’ve been so busy, have I been neglecting you? No, I would never do that. Not on purpose of course.
My rapidly frowning anxious thoughts come to halt when your eyes flutter open as you look at me. No expression yet, you don’t always wake up too well. “Hey Star,” I say sweetly. “Are you okay my love? What’s wrong?” I inquire as they sit up rubbing their eyes. I moved with them sitting next to them and pulled them into my lap. “You were crying? Why?” I could read their mind but I agreed to try not to, granted for some reason I can read their mind clearly when they first wake up. Maybe because they can’t even think clearly. Looking up at me, your eyes are already water. “It’s, stupid.” Of course, such a thing to say. Don’t you know that nothing you say could ever be stupid to me? With exceptions of course but emotionally, I always want to know and hear it. “You aren’t being honest with me.” It was a little more gruff and forceful than I meant it to be but you did seem too bothered. “I just feel…lonely I guess, everything feels like there is emotional weight to it, I’m worried about my family and I just- I can’t- I feel like I want to fall apart but I can’t let myself do it.”
Ugh, the hurt and despair in your trembling voice makes me feel aching in my own heart. I hold you closely, your cheek on mine, my fingers rubbing soothing. Circles on your back. “Fall apart star. I will hold you together…with my very strong arms that you like so much.” My light humor makes you actually laugh a little as you half cry wrapping your arms tight around me. We stay like this for a long time. Hell, I’d do it forever if that meant you’d be okay. I would ignore everything else just to make sure you feel better. You deserve it. You deserve all that is good. Your tears eventually fade out to sniffles, that being my que I pull away from you to look at you. “You will always have me, I’m sorry if things didn’t go the way you needed them to be, loneliness and stress together create a nasty mix. I will always be here for you when you need to fall apart.” You nodded with a smile and I kissed your puffy lips. You always say you have a ugly crying face but I think it’s beautiful. You. Are. beautiful.
I kiss you again, “How about some midnight grilled cheese?” You think about it, and agree. “Great, come with me. You can just-“ I sigh, tucking a hair back behind your ear. “-sit on the counter close by in my sweater.” Your eyebrow quirks and I know something witty is about to be said. “That sounds like a strangely kinky thing,” I scoff, “only you would think of that, but even so, you’ll never know. Granted you do look good, maybe you don’t even need clothes of your own.” You shake your head and laugh with an immediate no. I carry you to the kitchen and set you on the counter just as I said. You looked just as I had envisioned. A beauty in my own clothing. Together, we chat away as I make the grilled cheese sandwiches. I can’t wait for you to be mine permanently, my Star.
Announcement
So, small announcement, I love Binary Star! It has been my outlet to actually start posting my writings and get myself out there. The pivotal moment where my life changed in a brave way. I have been given support by all of you and I love it! All this to say, as much as I love BSH, I would like to write other things. I set myself up in a way where BSH was what I wrote about and I struggled with posting things that weren’t that. I wanted to keep going went I didn’t have any ideas or things to keep going or the motivation. I’m not worried anymore. I’m giving myself grace. I have lots of other things and people I want to draw and write about and I have here and there. As you saw Daigo is a prominent character I am focusing on as well. BSH won’t be my main focus anymore. Ray will still be here, requests can still be made but my posts won’t be just him. Not moving on completely, just moving forward! I can’t thank you guys enough for helping and being apart of this with me! That’s is all my friens! Enjoy the rest of your day!
(Have this silly reaction picture!
