Had this crack idea for a story. Ray in his Apollo era. I miss writing about Ray so, hee yaw letās try. š idk if this story makes too much sense and I havenāt read through it even once. Just skimmed it. A lot of switching POV too. Might be a bit rough. Sorry for that in advanced.
A little reminder, the Syndicate is a group I made up for the Apollo era where they basically share the city. Ray isnāt the leader. He doesnāt want to be. Anyway, enjoy my friens.
ā ļø mentions of death and violence ā ļø
The child was the only reason Ray hadnāt killed the woman he saw sitting there reminiscing. Even as the world felt apart he would never hurt a child, ever. On a deeper level however, maybe some part of himself still believed that a child could fix the hole he felt fester in chest. Being able to love something that would love him back. He lost his one love, they had turned their back on him and therefore he lost himself for a while, they were his only connection left to being human. In the past year, the US had fallen to ruin when Ray became Apollo, he tore apart every NAHA base he could find, killed any hero he came across, even to this day he still hunts them down. The US was lost as a whole but the city where Ray resided with the syndicate was divided among the four excluding Ray. He didn't take any part of the city, why would a man need it when all he wants is to watch it burn?
āDo you think Binary Star will come back to save us?ā James questioned where you sat beside him. You didn't respond right away as you two sat looking at the corroded once golden statue of Binary Star. āI don't know kiddo.ā James fell quiet thinking in his mind about how the hero could have disappeared. āMaybe he got lost.ā James says finally, you don't say anything, no one knows what actually happened to Binary Star, maybe he wasnāt as invincible as everyone thought. All anyone really knew for sure was that Binary Star disappeared and Apollo was left in his wake. NAHA said that Binary Star had lost the fight against Apollo and had to heal up but in your mind, he probably died. After all, NAHA isn't a reliable source anymore. That is why the world was the way it is now. Having to scavenge, hide, fight off criminals and villains that now roamed freely without consequence. Most police were either dead or hiding, you didn't blame them though, you'd be scared too. āAlright James, let's go, we have to get inside, suns going down.ā You help James to his feet.āCan we come back tomorrow?ā He asked, probably not. Doesn't seem like a good idea. āJames, we've come here at least once a day for the past three days, maybe we can come back in two weeks.ā The little boy doesn't argue. The pair begin their walk back.
I leaned against the roof of the building not too far from the two who admired the old statue of my former self. The costume I shed a year ago. I didn't smile at their hopefulness, can't bring myself to. A soft crackle comes from the cigarette. I take a huff to accompany the cherry red glow. A long inhale before I flicked it down and snuffed it out completely with my shoe. I had always considered offing you one day so I can take James but I knew better, James would never forgive me for it, so just visiting has to work. James wasn't her actual child, someone just trusted her enough to take care of him granted I don't know too much detail past that. The visit will be short but, at least I get to see them. They have already began their walk home.
James pulled away from your grasp just as you had passed the gas station, āJAMES!ā To your relief, you see not far off Ray walking towards you two, James meeting him half way, he pulled another cigarette from his pocket but didn't light it yet, just stuck it in his mouth. āRay! You're here!ā James practically jumps into Rayās arms, āHey Kiddo,ā Ray responds, catching him easily, not quite pulling James in for a hug but something adjacent to it. āSmoking is bad for you!ā James says trying to take the cigarette from his mouth but Ray dodges the little hands easy. āI'm a grown up, I get to choose for myself.ā When you approach Ray looks at you for a moment before he looked back at James. āProbablty should head home huh? Not safe out here.ā You watch him set James down, when you think about it, what Ray told you was he lived far from the city, based on the sun setting he wouldn't make it home till dark. That's not ideal, you had come to care for him enough. After all, Ray would give from his own supplies when he had them on him. He was strange, yes , but a good man nonetheless. Howā¦misinformed you were. āWhy donāt you come with us for the night.ā You question him stepping closer, his eyes don't widen or anything of the sort but his body language and the silence tell you that he's surprised at such an offer. āAre you sure that's a good idea? After all, I am still a stranger.ā Shaking your head you retort, āA stranger who saved us twice, gave us some of his food when we couldn't find any, and has beenā¦one of the only good things left. It's just not safe out here either.ā Could he really not see how kind he has been? āYea, itās not safe out here at night, they will hang you on a pole like they did the others!ā James speaks up, Ray looks over to you, his eyes narrow questioningly, āAnd when did you see this?ā Not letting James answer you but in. āWe tried to get food in one of our usual places but it looks like that area isn't safe anymore so we left but I couldn't stop him from seeing it, I didn't know it was there.ā You explain but you step closer, you take his hands into yours, āPlease, just come with us, just for tonight, you can leave in the morning, it's supposed to storm soon too. I just know that you live far from here and I don't want you hurt. James cares about youā¦I care about you.ā Ray didn't flinch at your admission, his eyes just looked down at your hands holding his. James grabbed onto Rayās leg, āPlease Ray! Just for tonight!ā Pulling his hands away he finally agreed to it. That sent a wave of relief through you.
I followed them, James taking my hand for most of the trip, they had never invited me over before, this is a first, a dangerous first whether they knew it or not. The house was a good fifteen minute walk that led to a one level apartment, definitely would have been considered cheap before all hell broke loose. Every window to each apartment had the windows covered by newspapers or something else, it all looked old and weathered to me. Speaking of weathered, that weather kicked in, it began to pour heavily the closer to the building everyone was. I followed the two in their sprint to the first door, 3A. Inside, it was dark, not much light coming in other than a sliver that came through the window. āGo get ready for bed James,ā You had ordered the small child. I watched him hurry to the bedroom, then the bathroom, (you) had already pulled off her own jacket that was soaked before disappearing into the bedroom and coming back with a towel and clothing. āItās all I have, Ray, I don't know if it will fit but I'm sure it's better than a soaked sweater.ā Taking the clothing I set them on the small table near the door and began drying my hair as she disappeared back into the bedroom behind closed doors for a minute or two until she came out and knocked on the bathroom door, "'Don't forget to brush okay?ā A small yes came from inside before she looked at me. āYou can change in the bedroom if you want.ā Offering a small thank you, I changed out of my wet clothing and into what she gave me. The shirt was a little tight and the sweatpants a little too short but, it would work for the time being. By the time I was done James was ready for bed.
As if switching places, James was laid down to sleep in the bedroom on the twin bed, Ray stood in the doorway as (you) tucked him into bed. Kissed him goodnight. āGoodnight James.ā I say to which he smiled brightly. Much brighter than I thought a child capable in situations such as this. Closing the door he watches you flick on a flashlight in the living room. Quietly you move, making a bed on the couch, looking around he sees that there is a bed on the floor of a living room, a mattress, twin sized. Must have taken it from one of the neighboring rooms. āOkay, Iāll let you sleep on the couch, it's a bit more comfortableā¦kind of. The bed has some terrible springs.ā She says with a small laugh. "Umm, beds ready but, uhā¦James and I ate while we were out today, have you eaten dinner?ā How sweet of you to ask, if he was honest with himself, he wasn't interested. āYea, I already ate.ā Nodding you tend to other things, making sure the door is locked, setting up the cans with pebbles, screws and whatever else you could near the front door on a string to act as an alarm system when the door opens. Smartā¦I'd give you credit for that. She moved to the window to fix the blanket that had fallen, found the tack on the ground after a few minutes, watched her struggle on her tippy toes as she tried to pin it back up.
Warmth grazes your back, an arm reached out taking the pin and blanket from you. His chest pressed a little more making you have to get support from the wall, could you have moved out of the way? Yea butā¦this felt nice, human connection. For a moment your mind drifts, how you wanted him to hold you tonight, to be so close that you almost become one person. Feel the warmth of another. Ray stepped away leaving an empty space behind you. āThanks,ā you say softly before turning to you. He seems to be looking at you strangely, he's getting that blank expression again. Always so hard to read. Gosh if only I could read his mind, know what he's thinking then I would surely feel better about how we interacted, you can't help but think to yourself. Somehow you felt the need to explain. āSorry, I..haven't been around another decent human being in a while. I've beenā¦alone, by myself taking care of James for the past year. Everyone who I knew or helped either died or went separate ways.ā The deeper truth was that you haven't had the comfort of another in a long time. In any sort of way. Ray hums, āUnderstandable, I'm sure it's a lonely world outthere.ā Tilting your head you respond, "You've been alone out there surviving. I've never seen you with anyone. Aren't you lonely?ā He doesn't answer for a long moment. āI don't know.ā His voice seems hollow somehow. Stepping forward you wrap your arms around him, assuming his I don't know meant, I don't want to admit it. āThat's okay,ā you say, he doesn't return the warmth, no arms wrap around you in return. After a moment he pulls your arms from around him, his grip tight in an uncomfortable but not painful way. āSorry, Iām not interested in what comfort you have to give me.ā That alone made the feeling of rejection ache in your chest. āSorry, I guess I misread you. Sorry.ā He let go, leaving you embarrassed, unsure what to do in the silence that followed you bid him goodnight and laid down. Had you been so deprived of other human beings that understand struggle on an adult level that you just pushed passed obvious signs that you were impeding on his space? That you were intruding? That alone just left you feeling guilty.
I lay on the couch, her thoughts were loud, unavoidable, she was mentally chastising herself for being so foolish. However she's got it all wrong. I am lonely. By choice. The last person I loved hated me soā¦I swallowed them whole, brought them into my orbit. Did as the Binary Star name entailed. Absorbing other stars. In a way, it was like a way to keep them within me but a punishment for them because they just live trapped in the void that it takes them to. Where his brother is, where few others lived within me. Iām not sure if I could love another, not sure I wanted to either. I've just been too done to care anymore. Except for Jamesā¦James somehow somehow gives me hope to be something different than Apollo. Then againā¦all I feel is lost. I don't know what Iām really doing. I don't know what I really want in the grand scheme of things. Finally I realize her brain goes quiet. Part of me wonders what would happen if she ever found out he was Apollo. After all, even in this new chapter of his life, he can always just switch between the man he shows and then Rayā¦granted Ray feels closer to Apollo than Ray ever did to Binary star.
