Pairing: Steo
Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin, Theo Raeken
Warnings: emotional hurt/comfort, Stiles gets sick from the loss of his Alpha, Theo got sent to hell before Stiles could confess his feelings, lots of talk about Stiles crying and trying to hide it
Words: 2753
Prompt: BTHB Don't Let them See You Cry AND IT'S A BINGO!!
Ao3 link Masterlist
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It’s no big secret that Stiles isn’t the best at processing his emotions. Ever since his mom died right in front of him at a young age, it’s safe to say it never worked well for him. Stiles either- in his mind- overreacts or bottles everything up until he explodes later on. But for the most part, he walks through life with a mask of numbness, cloaking his feelings so the world can’t see.
You’d think ten years later, he'd have at least gotten a little bit better about it. If anything, he doesn’t blow up as much anymore. Stiles waits until he’s in the safety of his own room to let it out. Crying in peace without the probing questions of what’s wrong and how they can help. Not that that’s the greatest coping method, Stiles can admit that. But the control of it makes Stiles feel better about it.
He has less panic attacks because of it.
Or at least, he used to.
Until his heart did something rather shocking and quite stupid; attach itself to the least expected person: Theo Raeken. The chimera wasn’t shy about flirting with him. Before or after becoming an Alpha. Stubborn as ever, Stiles mostly ignored Theo’s advances in the beginning, much to his heart’s annoyance. Be it for what the chimera did to Scott or what he did to Lydia. Though the banshee assures it seemed like an accident and she’s forgiven Theo. Scott on the other hand…
Then irony decided to make Stiles her bitch.
Just when he was ready to give into what his stupid emotions wanted, Theo got sent to hell. Stiles never got the chance to tell the chimera that his feelings were reciprocated. Instead, he had to watch the one person he’s wanted more than Lydia get torn away from him.
Yeah, Stiles was there that night.
He lied to Scott about his jeep breaking down. When in fact, that’s probably the one time Roscoe ran perfectly. She just didn’t get him to the tunnels fast enough. Stiles got there in enough time to lock eyes with Theo, hear his name muttered from those perfect lips one last time before he fell– was dragged into the hole. But when it came to a means of escape, Stiles’ jeep got him home safely in record time. Which is a novelty in and of itself considering his eyes were so blurred with tears he could barely see the road.
There was no way in hell he was going to let his friends see him cry over Theo. Stiles is smarter than that.
When he got in his driveway, Stiles noticed a mild saving grace. Theo’s hoodie he was wearing the night they were watching Josh’s body was on the floor by the passenger seat. Even after nearly burning from a Hellhound, the jacket was not only intact, but still held the smell of the chimera’s cologne.
Stiles cried himself to sleep while wearing it.
Six months later and not much has changed other than Stiles not really interacting with his pack anymore. Scott allowed him back in only after realizing Theo had been pulling the strings. He ignores nearly every phone call and text. Barely acknowledges them outside of the parameters of general politeness.
Stiles doesn’t mean to be rude, but outside of Lydia, he can’t look at his pack without seeing Theo screaming for help. Without thinking about all of the what ifs that could’ve made that night turn out differently. Can’t look at Scott, the guy who was supposed to be his best friend, and see anything other than Theo’s blue eyes full of tears and terror.
It’s the last thing he sees every night when he closes his eyes.
Last night wasn’t any different and Stiles doubts tonight- the actual six month anniversary of Theo being gone- will be any better. In all honesty, he’s probably not going to sleep at all tonight. It wouldn’t really surprise him at this point. Not when he still can’t properly deal when his mother’s date passes each year.
He just wishes he knew how to make things easier.
There’s a knock on his door, making him groan.
“Stiles?”
Lydia.
Stiles sighs to himself. There’s a reason he didn’t go to school today. He wanted to miss Theo in peace. To feel his feelings without having to deal with human interaction. It hasn’t been easing seeing the other chimeras walking through the halls at school. Today would’ve only made that worse.
“Stiles, come on, I know you’re in there,” Lydia knocks again. More persistently while her tone remains gentle. Soft and kind like when she knows something’s wrong. “We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I just- I just want to see that you’re okay.”
Stiles is far from okay, Lydia. But he sighs to himself and sits up a little in bed. He was never angry with Lydia. She wouldn’t have made that choice. The banshee even ripped into Scott for what he did. That it wasn’t very ‘we don’t kill people’ of him and there was probably a chance that Theo could’ve been saved.
“Come in,” Stiles sighs again. As much as he didn’t want to do this, the moment the banshee walks into his room, Stiles is almost grateful to see her.
“How are you feeling?” She asks, sitting on the edge of his bed. Lydia’s brows pinch with concern as she brings a hand to his forehead. Concern twists into worry, “you’re warm. Are you sick too?”
“Too?”
“Hayden and Corey,” Lydia clears her throat, “they both stayed home today because they haven’t been feeling too great.”
That piques his interest a bit, “but they’re-”
“Supernatural,” the banshee finishes his sentence. “I know. Which is all the more concerning that you’re showing similar symptoms. You look just as pale and have the same dark circles under your eyes. I’ll bet you haven’t even been out of bed today. How long have they been showing?” If there’s anything Lydia is good at, it’s the motherly level of care she has for him.
She’s the closest thing to a best friend Stiles has anymore.
Stiles has chalked his general shitty feeling to depression. He didn’t think it’d be a genuine illness of the body. Let alone one that could affect supernatural creatures. Not to mention the fact that he hasn’t been around the chimeras long enough for them to contract- Stiles’ stomach churns, his brain catching up.
“Any ideas what could make a human and chimeras sick?” He asks, ignoring her initial question. Stiles knows exactly how long it’s been. But saying that out loud opens the door for a lot more questions he’s also not ready to answer. Because he’s almost certain he knows the cause of this. The same reason Scott hasn’t pressed the issue too much of Stiles not being around as often.
Lydia’s mouth pulls into a sympathetic line. “Liam actually has a really good one,” she tells him. “All the times he was forcibly kept away from Scott made him upset and sometimes paranoid to the point of a stomach ache. His pack bond was twisting him up inside. He thinks they’re feeling a pull for their Alpha that’s no longer here and because it’s been so long, it’s making them sick. Almost as if their pack bonds think Theo is dead.”
Stiles doesn’t need to be a genius to know that every Lydia says them or the chimeras, that he’s included in that statement. It’s written all over her face. She’s just giving him the courtesy of not saying it out loud. And she knows that Stiles knows.
“Is there a cure for them?” He whispers softly.
The banshee offers a soft smile, “nothing of certainty. Liam is talking to Mrs. Yukimura right now about bringing Theo back. If he can even be brought back. Try and see if the pack bonds can be saved. Since none of them recognize Scott as their Alpha.”
His stomach lurches again and suddenly Stiles is unsure if he’s going to puke or cry. Neither of which he’s willing to let Lydia see. So Stiles throws himself out of bed, reaching for the towel hanging on his closet door. He knew he was angry with Scott, but Stiles never considered that he didn’t think of him as his Alpha anymore. Or that a human could fully feel the bonds this way. It makes sense to the Theo sized hole in his chest.
A sob lodges itself in his throat as his eyes burn. “That’s great,” Stiles aims to sound positive, swallowing the lump. He sniffles, “I hope it works for them.” He never told Theo how he felt, Stiles has no reason to believe it would work for him.
“Stiles-”
“I’m gonna take a shower,” he takes a careful breath to keep the sob from working its way back up his throat. “Might help me feel better.”
“Okay, but Stiles, he-” her hand touches his shoulder.
“Please,” Stiles says, tears singing his cheeks as they slide towards his chin, thankfully hidden from his turned back. He doesn’t want someone to see him cry. He can’t. Not over Theo while the pack still hates him. The chimeras get a pass from their biology. He has no excuse. “I can’t, okay? I’ll be fine,” Stiles sniffles again, nodding as though that will make his lie any more truthful. “I’ll call you later.”
Lydia squeezes his shoulder reassuringly, “okay.”
When his door closes, Stiles crumbles. Sobbing on his bedroom floor into his towel. Theo has no reason to come for him. But at least the chimeras will be okay.
—
Stiles held himself to taking a shower, but that’s about all he managed. All of the food in the fridge, even the curly fries in the freezer, didn’t sound appetizing. All he could muster was changing into clean clothes and slipping Theo’s hoodie back on. Stiles kicks himself for not breaking into the Raeken house and stealing the chimera’s cologne. The jacket lost its scent months ago.
All that matters to Stiles is that it’s Theo’s.
One last final piece of the Alpha that he can keep for himself.
His brain must have decided to take pity on him, because Stiles managed to pass out. He only even knows that because he woke up to a soft thud. Tired, sore eyes try to make his vision less grainy, seeing a figure standing in front of his window. Stiles jolts up in bed, blinking rapidly until the figure comes into focus.
“Theo?” Stiles asks, not really believing what he’s seeing. Is he still dreaming? There’s no reason for the chimera to be here. Surely this is just another one of those times his brain concocts a vision of the Alpha only for him to be stripped away. Leaving Stiles crying in bed until exhaustion sends him back to sleep.
It’s a vicious cycle.
The chimera takes a step closer, the only thing truly visible are his glowing red eyes. They make something settle in the human’s chest, a nice warmth. “Hey, little fox.”
Little fox.
That’s what Theo always called him whenever he was in a particularly flirty mood. Or when he was trying to get on the human’s last nerve. It was interchangeable, honestly. But something in the actual hearing of the name out loud after all this time… “Are you actually here?” Stiles’ eyes burn with fresh tears, “Is this real?”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Theo tsks, turning on the soft lamp on Stiles’ nightstand. As gentle as the light is, the human still recoils a bit, squeezing his eyes shut so they can adjust. “I’m here. I just left the others after they fell asleep,” Theo takes a careful step towards him, like he’s worried Stiles is going to flee. “Liam told me that you were feeling just as bad as they were.”
Stiles ducks his head, “I didn’t know.”
“I’m here to help,” Theo says, “if you’ll let me.” Looking back up at the Alpha, the blanket falls off of Stiles’ shoulder. Before he can speak, the chimera asks, “are-are you wearing my hoodie?”
The human looks down at himself. The scent has long since faded from the fabric. And it’s just a plain black hoodie. Stiles wears hoodies all of the time, what would make Theo think it’s his? It’s not like the human doesn’t like his clothes a bit baggy either, especially his jackets. Though, looking at it better, it does kind of swallow him. Not even the length of Stiles’ arms are a match for the sleeves needed to fit Theo’s muscles. His fingers barely poke out.
Unable to lie, Stiles simply nods, “I found it in my jeep.”
“How long?”
Stiles fiddles with the hem of the sleeve, “whenever I need to feel safe,” he mumbles.
The Alpha crouches in front of the bed, stilling the human’s hands, “okay, but how long?”
A tear slides down his face, trying to hide it, Stiles tucks his chin and whispers, “Ever since you went to hell.”
Theo’s arms are around him in an instant, holding the human close to his chest, “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” The Alpha fumbles for a second, before two thuds hit his floor. The chimera has taken his shoes off and is curling into Stiles’ bed with him, “I’m right here,” he says.
Sobs scratch Stiles’ throat as he clings to the Alpha. He didn’t think that Theo would ever come see him. Yes, he flirted. Yes, he made his intentions clear. But Stiles never once gave in. Never gave any indication that he was interested too.
“Look at me, Stiles,” Theo whispers, trying to pull back a little. But Stiles clings harder. He never wanted his pack to see him cry, he definitely doesn’t want Theo to. He’s sure the chimera is past exploiting weaknesses, but Stiles doesn’t want to seem weak. “Please don’t hide from me,” Theo says, gently bringing the human’s head up.
Tears stain his cheeks and new ones spill freely. “I never got to tell you,” Stiles hiccups. The last six months crash into him like a tidal wave and Theo’s the only one who can hold the pieces of him together.
Theo wipes his face with the pads of his thumbs, cupping Stiles face, “you didn’t have to.” The Alpha taps the human’s nose, “I always knew. I was just waiting for you to come to the conclusion yourself.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t do it sooner,” Stiles closes his eyes, trying to hide his face again.
“Stop apologizing,” Theo’s voice is incredibly soft. Caring and gentle. “And stop trying to hide. You don’t have to hide anything from me, sweetheart. Definitely not your tears,” the Alpha smiles. “It tells me you care about me.”
“So fucking much,” Stiles sniffles, pleading with his emotions to calm down and enjoy the moment with the chimera. “I tried to get to the tunnels in time, but I wasn’t fast enough. When I got home I found your hoodie and I- I thought that it would help keep you with me. I lost you, Theo and it almost destroyed me. I didn’t even know that I considered you my Alpha until Lydia came by this morning.”
Theo smiles again, brushing the tears away as quickly as they can fall until they finally dry up. “I did. I felt it as soon as I became an Alpha. But I wasn’t going to push you. This isn’t your fault, Stiles. None of it is. All that matters now is that I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’re not upset with me?” Stiles asks. “For not telling you sooner.”
“No,” the chimera shakes his head, “not even a little bit. Like I said, I always knew the truth, I was just waiting until you were comfortable enough to tell me.” Theo assures him again, “I’m right here with you. As your Alpha, your friend, as anything you’ll let me.”
“Everything?” Stiles asks, hope blooming in his heart.
Theo’s smirk darkens, eyes flickering red, “If that’s what you want,” he leans so close they’re sharing breath.
“More than anything,” Stiles says, closing the small space of their mouths. Melting into Theo as he pulls them close and deepens their kiss.
His heart swells about three times its size being back with Theo. The Alpha growls in the back of his throat, sending the vibrations through Stiles’ chest, healing him from the inside out.
