sarcasm is my only defense

Britt (she/her) 28 | 18+ | I write Teen Wolf, ST x reader, and Ereloy fics | All of my work is under #Match Writes | prompts closed (trying to catch up) | feel free to say hi | ships I write for: Steo, Briles, Sterek, Stisaac, Steter, Stackson, Petopher, (ask about other ships, I might be interested)

[amatchinwater]

Master List

Last Updated: 3/29/2024

Teen Wolf

Steo (yes, it needed its own)

Stranger Things

Horizon Games

[codychristiantreasures]

[codychristiantreasures]

[codychristiantreasures]

[spikeface]

friends <3

(x)

[orarewedancy]

So I work at a video game store in a mall and across the hall from us is this really nice suit shop. One day one of the guys came in an asked if they could use our microwave (the store they used to go to closed down) and we bargined for use of their bathroom in return since the mall bathrooms are like a 5 min trek.

So for like three months now we just have these men in really nice suits come in and talk while using our microwave and teach them about nerdy shit? Then I, the goblin king in various shitty tee shirts and paint stained pants, walk into their super expensive store and just get greeted with “Yo dude what’s good?” and talk about the pains of steaming silken dress shirts properly and it’s my favorite business interaction every day

[orarewedancy]

A new jewelry store opened up right next to our store and when I used the bathroom today we were talking about it. I hate it on principle (they flooded our systems closet during building) and immediately both Suit Guys™ working went on mini rants. “Their suits are baggy as hell, I wouldn’t trust them to sell me a $9,000 ring when they can’t get a fitted jacket. They look so unprofessional, ” and “I saw one of the dude’s wearing a teal shirt. It’s fall, and you go with teal? At least get a color to match your store if you’re gonna ignore the seasons like that, Christ, but teal is awful.”

I live for this commentary fam.

[chrispineofficial]

#flower shop/tattoo artist au is out #suit shop/nerd store au is in

[alexanderhale]

This is perfect. Just imagine Derek Hale, co-owner of the fancy suit store with Laura… 

and Stiles who works at the tech store next door…

[casually-eat-my-soul]

You wanna know would be funny if everyone in the hale pack was like a questioning who was the first beta if it was Scott, Jackson, or Isaac, and Derek just straight up says stiles.

Stiles who thought he wasn’t even in the pack, and everyone else is so confused. Derek refuses to elaborate, Peter just smirks condescendingly at everyone 

[casually-eat-my-soul]

Fix it for the teen wolf movie but I haven’t seen it. And I don’t plan too. This is all based off of what I gathered from fanfics and tumblr.

So Lydia comes back to town and Derek doesn’t know that her and stiles broke up. He hasn’t really stayed in contact becuase he can’t handle the thought of stiles with someone else

Cue him running into Lydia and trying to be causal, “oh where’s stiles” acting like his heart is not a second from stopping. She tells him they broke up and he has to act all sad like he’s not fighting a smile. “Oh how terrible”

The minute he gets home he calls stiles and is like “can I visit you?”. Stiles gives him the quickest yes ever. He skips town with Eli (getting away from the demon). Eli is so confused on what is happening but Derek is like “I’m trying to get you a second dad, he owned the jeep before you” and Eli is even more confused but so down, because the jeep is awesome.

He meets up with stiles and confesses immediately “I let you get away from me once and I’ll be damned if it happens again, I can’t lose you to someone else.”

Volia happy ending of sterek and Eli. Eli fucking loves stiles, thinks he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Peter is crying with joy because stiles is officially family. That creep, he just would. Cora is immediately making fun of Derek for being a loser.

And Derek doesn’t die in a fucking fire in front of his son. Like what kinda ending is that honestly.

[casually-eat-my-soul]

I like high school sterek Aus as much as the next person but no one is writing Derek as whipped as he would be.

Yall remember him with Paige?? Remember when she politely sassed him and he immediately like her??? Yeah

Now imagine that with stiles “I shove a wolfsbane wrapped bat up your—”. Derek would have been a goner. Stiles would have given him the most Heinous tongue lashing and Derek would have had proposed on the spot.

Peter: are you drawing yours and stiles wedding invitations??

Derek: No, that’s our joint tombstone

Peter: my mistake

Also supernatural highschools aus, you will forever be special to me. I need more. I need the hale pack solving a murder mystery in their high school like the scooby doo gang

[homemadesterekpie]

[slimeydagamer]

[alphaechoes]

[salty-fryingpan]

Stiles trying to find a not insane way to tell his best friend that his stalker is his sort of werewolf husband who he acquired on accident and now is also panicking because what the fuck?

He was just trying to hit on a hot guy who for some reason was very very into him. Only to find out mid hook-up that they are basically married now and is low-key freaking out

Meanwhile Scott is having an aneurysm

[bilesandthesourwolf]

stiles: you know what your problem is? you’re so hot, no one has told you to shut up!

derek: you think I’m hot?

stiles: …that’s all you heard?!

[greelin]

to bite. Fondly.

[greelin]

love is stored in the throat offered willingly AND in the teeth sinking in. Or something

[teencopandthesourwolf]

[ykthefancyclamwiththepearlinsid]

moodboard: theo raeken

“People only feel one emotion at a time.”

[djarin]

#he’s such a little gremlin 😭