open to: m/w/nb
plot: arizona is no longer using drugs which yay ! but apparently that included her bipolar medication and she is now def having a maniac episode.
connection: bff, partner, ex-friend/partner that she had promised she would stop using for, childhood friends she hasn’t talked to in a few years, someone who has a crush on her and she usually gives no attention ?
she has her dad’s holster and gun, more for show, really than to be used as a weapon. “ we need to go. ” a lit cigarette burned away in between her fingers. — arizona kept meaning to take a drag at it, kept getting distracted and realizing far too late. “ here is what i think— we get our shit, right ? pack our bags, dye our hair. ” this part comes out louder. disguises were important. “ steal my dad’s car. then we move to alaska. what are we gonna drink on the way, you might be wondering. ” she points at their face, smile on her lips, “ i already bought the drinks. i have like twenty bottles of gatorade and coke and shit so we don’t even have to stop on the way. ”
Summary: Mistakes are made. It seems to be a cycle. All is fine until it’s not and Y/n finds herself repeating past behaviors while spiraling out of control. At least she has loving friends to help ground her. And a new friend to venture with, to distract herself with.
Word Count: 5.9k
Warnings/Genre: nsfw, 18+/minors do not interact, non-explicit smut/sexual content, angst, bad mental health/depictions of mania, mentions of alcohol, confrontation, shower scene and a dash of fluff
a/n: i myself experience hypomania and mixed features with rapid cycling so the depictions of such things in this story comes from my own personal experience with the illness and I am aware that such episodes can vary greatly by person.
Part 4: A Lesson Never Learned
The heat under your palms as your hands slide down his back only to drag up to his shoulder blades again, nail digging in along the way, fingertips caressing each muscle. The kisses and nipping down your throat, breath tickling the delicate skin in their wake. Your ankles lock behind his waist while your fingers tangle in the hair at his nape. Ragged breathing and lust filled moans spill into the air, blond strands tickle your face from where they hang above you. The feeling of being pressed into the mattress of your queen size bed. A night of pleasure after a stressful day and awful week.
He falls next to you with a grunt, pushing blond hair back as he pants. In your post-sex haze, laying in your sweaty sheets, you slowly register bits and pieces of the room. The messy sheets, your comforter nowhere to be found - it must have made the floor its home at some point in the night. Dust particles flowing in the air, illuminated by light peeking into the room through the blinds - it must be early morning already. Where did the night go? Besides under the man you brought home last night.
Tapping and clicking reaches your ears and your face scrunches. Unfocused eyes directed at the ceiling, you throw an arm to the side, hitting your bed mate. You speak harshly, “I swear, if you’re about to fucking smoke I’ll throw you out the damn window.”
A rough laugh fills the room. “Really? That’s the first thing you’ve got to say after fucking your boss?”
You squeeze your eyes shut and rub your face with both hands. With a huff you warn, though it comes out more like a muffled whine through your hands, “Keishin..”
Keishin turns to his side, scooting closer to you with a low hum, sweaty forehead meeting the side of yours, “Yes?”
Refusing to catch his warm brown eyes, you lock yours on the ceiling. You shake your head lightly without speaking at first.
“Please just leave,” you breathe out.
“Hm.” His breath tickles your cheek before you feel the bed shift.
You carefully look out the corner of your eye and see Keishin now standing with his back to you, slipping on his jeans. Your eyes flick back to the ceiling as he starts to turn around.
“Yeah, okay.” More shuffling comes from his side of the bed. “I know the drill.”
The sound of footsteps carries from one side of the bed to the other and he leans over you. As much as you wish there was, there’s no malice in his expression. Sure, he's got that smirk he often gives you, but it's closer to a warm smile with a comfortable gaze. Quickly, your eyes shift away and you roll to your side.
“Hmph. Yeah, yeah,” he quietly huffs.
“Goodbye, Keishin,” you speak clearer this time, but he was already walking away.
“See ya later,” you hear him open your bedroom door, “You work today, right?”
“Yeah.”
And the door clicks closed. You look over to confirm he’s not on your side of the door, then roll over. Face down into the pillow, you groan, “Fucckk..”
“What the fuck, Y/n..”
This isn’t the first time your boss has spent the night. No, on the contrary, it’s happened often enough that you can’t count on one hand the number of times you and him have rolled beneath the sheets. And it happens the same way every time - you lose your composure and self medicate with alcohol, or you really lose your impulse control and sleep with whoever answers the phone. And Keishin has yet to turn down any invitations.
You vowed after the first time, never again. But the sex was good, better than good - you two are incredibly sexually compatible. With him seemingly always down to fuck, why wouldn’t you jump at the opportunity as presented. Oh wait, because he’s your employer. He’s your boss and you don’t want the guys to think you’re getting special treatment or anything. You also really don’t want Keishin treating you differently either. And you’re really not into the idea of a relationship with him outside of work. You can’t say you’re friends even, not exactly.
One night stands, and whatever this is, isn’t your thing. You're not the girl that gets wasted and sleeps with the first guy to give her attention. At least not normally. When you’re not acting reckless, anyway.
But in a manic high, all concerns are thrown out the door along with any rational thinking or inhibition. And when you go through the numbers in your phone with hypersexuality out the roof and impulsiveness in the extreme, Ukai Keishin always gives you what you want.
Or at least what you want in that moment. In the moment of needing to satisfy those racing thoughts, or to distract yourself from them.
Is it fair to be so cold to him the next morning?
No.
Regardless, here you are laying in bed, annoyed with yourself and Keishin.
You roll to your back and rub your eyes with the heels of your palms, sulking in your dirtied sheets.
Eventually, you’ve had enough and roll out of bed and into the hallway, not even bothering to put on clothes when you’re headed for a shower.
That was the plan anyway.
The plan was not to be intercepted by Tendou as you creeped out into the hallway.
Ah, shit.
He lazily points at you, looking rather tired. It is early yet. Though, while you don’t rise with the sun, Tendou often does. “You wanna put something on real quick?”
You cross your arms over your bare chest. Not that you were trying to cover yourself, Tendou has seen you in all your glory plenty of times before. No, your just frustrated and don’t want to talk right now.
“Get something comfy. I’ll be in here.”
With an agitated moan, you go grab a black hoodie and pajama pants that have little cats on them and join your roommate now that you’re not sporting your birthday suit.
Tendou is on the floor, legs criss crossed with his back against the sofa. He apparently shoved the coffee table forward enough to get comfortable while you were getting dressed. One elbow rests on the cushions behind him while the other hand taps the floor next to him before it finds a place in his lap.
You should have expected this. No, he hasn’t confronted you like this. Maybe passing comments and checking on you, but you’re an adult and he isn’t going to babysit you. But..
“So,” he draws out as you sit on the floor with your knees to your chest, “Was that..?”
You know he cares about you, not how - or with who - you spend your nights.
An odd yet familiar feeling in your chest has you fidgety. So you move from the floor and choose the arm of the sofa as your new seat, peering down at him with brows drawn together.
He doesn’t seem to mind, only shrugging and leaning back more. Head tilting back to see you better.
“Don’t you work today?” His eyes aren’t threatening, no aggravation swirling in them. Just attentive as always. Nothing gets past them, like an all seeing force. “Maybe you should take today off.”
You know he cares.
You feel a crawl under your skin as something between sadness, regret, and irritation pricks you further.
“I can’t call off. In case you didn’t notice, that was my fucking boss,” you hold out on barking your words, though your tone still has a mild bite to it anyway.
You know he cares, but..
Eyelids lowering ever so slightly along with his eyebrows, Tendou mutters, “Oh, I noticed..”
And just like that, it's like a match has been struck. Whatever control you had on your expressions and tone has now melted through your fingertips like the wax of a candle burnt for too long.
Tendou has definitely noticed. That flicker in his eye says he’s picked up whatever emotion is now scribbled on your face. Voice like the calm before the storm, he speaks with love entwined in his words. “..Look. You- Hmm. Were you drinking last night?”
You can’t take it.
With the burning in your throat and waves of clashing emotions in your head, you stand to your feet. No longer able to sit still, you nearly stomp around as you pace the living room aimlessly. “Why’s it fucking matter.” It wasn’t a question.
Ignoring the bite of your words, he watches you intently. “Mhmm, yeah. We’ll say it does.”
“What,” you sneer.
“You don’t usually drink on a work night, not much at least, no?”
You don't say a word. Just standing there with eyes locked on nothing out the window as fury bubbles up your throat.
He takes your silence as a means to go on, “And well, this isn’t the first time Keishin‘s been here-“
You interrupt him, the mention of your boss’ name adds fuel to the fire, “So what? I can’t have someone here?”
“He’s not someone you ever have over when you’re not- Just-“ He sighs, rubbing a hand over short red hair. Dropping the calm facade, he breathes out, “I’m worried is all.”
“You don't need to worry about me, Satori.” At least you're spitting his given name instead of Tendou. Right?
A heavy exhale leaves his lips as he lets his head fall back, it lightly hits the sofa a few times. “It's just that you aren’t.. Typically the reckless type is all. Not until you get into one of these moods.”
You tap your foot, arms crossed, and look away. But the pause in movement doesn't last long.
Tendou’s eyes follow your movements for a moment before he quietly pushes up off the floor and steps your way. “Please call in sick. You can do that and I'll stay here with you.”
“I don't need a babysitter, Tendou.” The aggression drops from your voice. You bring your fingertips to your temples and try to slow your heart rate with some steady, slow breaths. “I need to work.”
Tendou doesn't want you to risk your job anymore than he worries you may have last night or this morning, and he doesn't want to stir you further. But..
“Maybe, but how's that gonna go? Are you going to talk to your coworkers like this? You’re not going to talk to customers like you are me, are you?” Getting closer, he places his hands firmly on your upper arms. “I care, Y/n. I’m not trying to be a dick. I’m just worried and I know how much you love it there and I might be able to stand you being feisty with me, but you don't want to strain things with work. Right?”
In shame, your eyes flit away. “I’m not going to do anything stupid.“
“Haven’t you already?”
Your eyes widen and snap to his. Agitation returns to replace the shame, “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
Tendou squeezes you against his chest, pulling you into a hug, and rests his head on top of yours. “Maybe not.. You seemed upset when I saw you come out of your room. And now you're pissed, and why?”
You’re not returning the hug, but aren’t fighting it either. You just stand there, voice muffled against the fabric of his cotton shirt, “‘Cause you're acting like I'm crazy.”
He sighs heavily and it tickles your scalp. “Oh Y/n, Y/n. I don't think you're crazy. Not at all, and I'm sorry if I came across that way.”
A hand comes up to smooth over your hair. “No, I just think you need a break. Why don't we watch a movie and eat shitty food?”
Silence.
More silence and something screaming claws on in your mind, but the longer his arms are around you and you feel his warmth and smell his familiar scent, the intensity starts to wane.
A shutter comes from you as he continues to hug you. He moves a hand to your cheek, wiping away moisture you hadn't noticed falling from your eyes. He pulls away enough to get a look at your face, tears streaming down your cheeks even though your face is still scrunched in a tamer rage.
He uses the hem of his shirt to blot your tears away. “Hey, have a chance to clean up yet?”
“No, you stopped me when I was trying to.” You wrap your arms around his waist while he catches any tears that slowly fall while you calm down some.
“Ah. Right.” He looks up in thought, lips pressed in a thin line. “Why don't we get you cleaned up then, hm? I can join you if you want or stay out here. Whatever you want.”
You rub your face into his palm with a shaky exhale. “I apparently can't make any good decisions right now.. I don’t know what I want.”
A sad smile touches his lips. He hates to see you cry, but he's not exactly a stranger to the sight. “I don't know, that says enough there, hm? How ‘bout I keep you company and if you want to scream at me and tell me to get out, I will.”
You clutch the back of his shirt, arms still not leaving his center. “I don’t want to scream at you.”
“Seemed otherwise a moment ago.” He snickers softly.
“Okay, I kinda wanna, but I don't. Not at you. I’m just pissed and sad and can't hold it in and I can't sleep.”
“Mm.. Is that last one because of your festivities that lasted ‘til the crack of dawn.”
A small, sad giggle escapes you. “No.. I haven’t been sleeping much lately. Not tired is all.”
He hums, “Well, maybe we can get a nap in too.”
Satori ushers you down the hall. “Come on! You’re a mess.”
You groan, “Can’t I eat first?”
“Maybe if you didn’t reek of sex, alcohol, and cigarettes. Now, go go!” He leaves you in front of the bathroom sink while he gets the shower ready. “Hey, uhm, does Kei- Do you know who’s working today?”
You mumble out names around a toothbrush that are hardly understandable, but none of it sounds remotely like Keishin’s name. That should make things less awkward if the chances of him answering the phone are slim. “M’kay. Want me to call in for you?”
You nod, staring at your reflection blankly as you brush your teeth.
He leaves to make the call in another room. When he comes back, he finds you lifting the hoodie you’re wearing, revealing you aren’t wearing anything under it. Before the top can even drop to the ground, he whips his head away and looks anywhere else but at you.
You pick up the hoodie and wad it up in a ball to throw at him. “Don't act like you haven’t seen me naked before. C’mere, I don't wanna wash my hair myself.”
That’s true, you often walk around your shared apartment naked in the mornings, and the two of you have been intimate in the past.
“Fine, fine.” He strips and steps into the large shower after you. He often wishes there was a bathtub to relax in, but the shower is plenty big enough for even him and Wakatoshi, which he appreciates.
Satori has known you long enough to pick up the cues of these episodes. Sometimes it’s when he notices you sleeping less or going to bed late as usual but waking up even earlier than him. Other times it’s that little change in your voice, the increased speed in which you talk. But there are times like now when he doesn’t notice until it’s no longer building up, and becomes too hard to ignore. When you don’t come home after work until late in the night after running the clubs and stumbling in the door with someone questionable.
He’s also known you long enough to know that you almost always crash from this high. And based on the last couple of times you’ve brought your boss home, this is the point that often marks the fall will come soon. If he can lighten the load, he’ll try.
While you spend most of your time facing the shower head, hogging most of the water, Satori is catching glimpses at you. Noting your change in expression and overall energy. Your face reverts to a neutral expression shortly after getting under the falling water, and soon enough your shoulders drop as steam rolls off them. As requested he washes your hair, but otherwise leaves space between the two of you, being your quiet company as you wash up and let the hot water melt away any tension it can.
The redhead pops his head through your open bedroom door as you finish getting dressed. “Movie and shitty food? Check! C’mon.”
You follow him out, leaving Indigo to chew on a toy in the middle of your stripped bed. Tendou is wearing a long sleeved shirt along with pajama pants with otters on them, which has you grinning to yourself.
As promised, a movie is pulled up on your TV and cheap takeout is waiting for you on the coffee table. Grabbing your arm, he falls back onto the sofa, bringing you with him.
You sigh and lean into his side, nibbling at your less than ideal but just what you want brunch as some obscure movie plays. The audio falls on deaf ears as your mind drifts, homing in on your latest obsession. Your car.
I should darken the tint on my windows. I don’t like people looking in at me. It would look good too.
You can’t say what’s happening on screen as you're wrapped up in your thoughts, munching on your food without paying attention to much else.
Oh, but what if I have it repainted? Or I could wrap it. Something fun. I have been wanting to try my hand at that.
But I do like the white with that little shimmer to it..
Tendou snaps you from your thoughts as he places a hand on your bouncing knee you hadn’t even noticed. “You okay?”
You blink a few times as you return to reality, letting the mental vision of your reimagined WRX disappear momentarily. “Mhmm, yup. I’m thinking about making some changes to my car.”
His eyebrows rise. “I thought you said you were done with that?”
“Yeah, but ya know, just small things. Cosmetics is all.”
You look at the TV, watching as two characters fight in the most dramatic and unrealistic of ways.
“Do you like the white?”
“Hm?” He peeks at you from the corner of his eye, still facing the movie with fries lifted to his mouth.
“My car. Do you like the white?”
“It’s not mine. It doesn’t matter what I think.”
“Hm, I guess.” You lean your head on his shoulder while watching one character defeat the other in their crazy battle.
That teal colorshift wrap I saw the other day was so fucking sick. I wonder who makes it.
“I thought you liked the white?”
“I do!” You sit up, giving him a look as if you’ve been wrongly accused of a crime.
Tendou shoots you a confused look back. “Then why change it?”
You purse your lips, unable to come up with a justified reason on the spot. “Just something different.”
“Uh-huh..”
The both of you turn back to the movie after that and watch it in moderate silence as you finish most of your food.
“How are you and Wakatoshi doing?”
Tendou smiles warmly. “Great as ever~ Can’t you tell? Or should I have him come over more to show you just how great we’re doing?”
You raise a hand. “Nope. I’m good. Sorry I asked.”
He turns back to the TV, snickering. But you can’t focus on the movie for more than a few minutes. Besides just not being able to focus on outside stimuli in general, something is eating at you as you sit here. Enjoying your takeout and sitting close to someone you love, when you would be working right now if Satori hadn’t called into work for you.
“..This isn’t a solution, by the way.”
“Hm?”
You reiterate, “I can’t stay home every time I get like this.”
“No no, I know. That’s not- You don’t normally, but.. You also don’t normally get shitfaced, then fuck your boss either. Well, maybe the shitfaced part. Sometimes.”
You groan, bringing a hand up to cover your face in shame.
He side-eyes you. “You know I could hear you guys, right? Like I had to listen to that for hours. I even left and came back once.”
You groan again, face no longer hidden. “Look the walls are thin-“
“They aren’t that thin.”
You narrow your eyes at him. “I can hear when you take it-“
But he smacks a hand over your mouth and hushes you. “Now, now. I promise you don’t hear half of what we do.”
You pull his hand away. “Is that supposed to be a relief?”
“Why would it need to be? We are in love~” He makes a heart shape in the air with his fingers.
You snort. “Mm, I know. I’m really happy for your guys.”
He smiles and pulls you closer, pulling your legs with one hand until they’re over his lap. He takes a deep breath and grabs your shoulders, looking at you with soft eyes. “Remember what we said? That when you feel like this, talk to me or Toshi-“
“I broke his heart, Satori.”
“You broke both our hearts.”
You slouch sadly at the thought. You really did do some damage back then, and you regret all of it.
“But we are both incredibly forgiving people. Probably too forgiving even- Not the point!” He shakes off any hint of trailing off topic. “I care about you so much. And he does too. Just.. I hate to see you wreck the things you’ve worked so hard for.”
He runs a hand feather light up and down your back, movie completely forgotten as you cuddle up to him.
You know he means well.
You know it.
The next morning, work went better than one would think. Sure the irritability and lack of impulse control are still there, but at a much lesser level. Keishin wasn’t at the shop, so you considered that a bonus. However, somehow Tanaka got the news of why you skipped work yesterday - or at least the part where your boss spent the night with you. He was less than happy with you over that, so you made a point to mostly avoid him the rest of the day to prevent any freak outs on your end.
Last night, your loving roommate spent his time with you for the rest of the night - even going as far as sharing his bed with you. And while he slept soundly, you still didn't sleep much. You might have gotten close to four hours last night, but you still have only had maybe eight hours of sleep over the last few days. You just haven’t felt tired, you didn't lie to Satori about that. Really, you’ve felt much the opposite. But it seems today that feeling has started to die down.
You come straight home after work with your unending energy starting to wane. Plus, Tendou already texted you about dinner. You did work late and you don’t want to keep him waiting when you know food will be ready soon enough.
You may not have gone out drinking or brought someone home to regret in the morning, but no sooner than you enter your living room do you feel a tension in the air. Satori is home as expected, but Wakatoshi is still here too. And both of them are sitting in the living room, looking your way instead of being disgustingly engrossed in each other. Indigo isn’t even with them.
The room is silent as you stand at the opposite side of the room. “..Y’all are acting weird.”
“Come, come. Sit with us.” Satori pats a seat.
“Nope! No way.” You gesture at your uniform covered in dirt and grime. “I’m fucking disgusting. I’m going to shower and if you wanna hang out after that, fine.”
“Y/n. Please,” he adds in a tone filled with concern.
You eye him wryly before sitting on the floor. Coffee table between you and the others, you steer clear of the rug under it to avoid potentially staining it with oil. “I’m not sitting on furniture like this.” Falling back, you lay in your chosen spot, bringing your black stained arms in the air.
Tendou and Wakatoshi voice their worries over the next few minutes. Tendou is mostly the one to speak, but Wakatoshi talks more than you thought he would. Something about your recent behavior alarming them based on similar episodes in the past, but you only half listen to them.
You gaze around the room, searching for your missing family member. “Where’s Indy?”
“Koganegawa has him out on a run.” Tendou doesn’t seem bothered by your lack of interest in the heart-to-heart you’re supposed to be participating in.
Wakatoshi speaks up, catching your attention with his rare words, “You can talk to either of us. If you don't want to talk to him, you can talk to me.”
Tendou looks appalled by his boyfriend's words. “You didn’t have to put it that way.”
“What way?” He genuinely asks the redhead, who only shakes it off with a sigh.
“Oh! You could talk to Koganegawa!” Tendou’s voice warms for the first time since you walked in the door.
“He doesn't get this sort of thing. He can’t wrap his head around it.” You hate to put it that way, but your mind won’t come up with a better way to indirectly say that you don’t want to talk to the blond about your problems.
He nudges Wakatoshi, red eyebrows lowering with a teasing grin. “And this one can?”
You glance up over the coffee table into the olive eyes of the broader man on your sofa. You let your head fall back with a thud as your eyes close. “Yeah, well.. He’s lived it. So I guess he has a different perspective.”
“But you still didn't come to me,” his low voice rumbles.
You bite your lip. He’s right. They both are, but you chose to not talk it out. You really didn’t notice what was going on at first, but by the time you did, well, here you are.
“Look.. I didn’t know what was up at first either. I don’t always catch it in the beginning. You know that.” A heavy sigh escapes you. You only caught on a couple of days ago, but to make things easier you say, “I think I realized the other night. With Keishin.”
“..I guess it would be difficult not to notice after that.”
You grimace at Tendou’s added comment. That’s really not something you want to talk about, and you’re starting to get antsy laying on the hardwood floor. Discreetly, you grab your phone to look for a distraction.
>> To Kogane: “so how long are you keeping my dog out? :)”
You start to text Tanaka as well, but backspace the text before sending it. Given his reaction at work earlier, he would just nag you. But in his place, you message a few more friends.
>> From Kogane: “i was just about to head to my place for a bit :) should i bring him home instead?”
>> To Kogane: “nah i can bring him home from your place if thats cool”
>> From Kogane: “of course :D”
Thank you, Kanji, for the rescue.
Pocketing your phone, you roll to your feet. “Sorry, guys! But I’m heading to Kogane’s to get Indy. But I’m getting a shower first.”
Arriving at Kanji’s house, it seems him and Indigo are not back yet. Luckily though, you have a spare key. Letting yourself in the back door to his kitchen, you announce your arrival just in case. Immediately, you hear barking and follow the noise down the hall to the front door where you find Kanji. Indigo, still tethered to the man, barks away in greeting.
“Hey! I didn’t think you’d beat me here.”
You smirk. “Guess I drive faster than you walk.”
“Well, yeah, but my walk wasn’t that far.” He unhooks the dog’s leash and tosses it your way. “You’re welcome to stay as long as you want, but I’m going to go hop in the shower real quick. Keeping up with Indigo is a workout!”
“Says the athlete.” You cock a brow and cross your arms, but soon you’re relaxing into a sultry gaze as you watch Kogane walk your way, wiping sweat from his forehead with the hem of his shirt. You know he’s not trying to show off his abs and he just has to pass you to get to the bathroom, but..
Locked on his figure, you murmur, “Want company?”
Just a step behind you, he pauses and tilts his head before looking back to you. “Don’t I already have you and Indy here?”
It doesn't take long for him to get a hint at the true meaning behind your words as he looks into your heated stare. “Oh.”
“Oh! Uh, nope. Nope, I’m just, uhm,” he nearly trips over his own feet as he stumbles away, face and ears fully flushed, “I’m just gonna- I won’t be long.”
You press a fist to your lips, mostly hiding a cheeky grin and suppressing a giggle.
“Um, the tea you liked last time is in the kitchen. Help yourself,” he quickly says just before shutting himself in the bathroom.
You clear your throat and look to the german shepherd who’s tilting his head back and forth at the suddenly closed door. “Yeah, maybe tea would be good. Indigo, come.”
While Kogane takes his post-run shower, you stand in the kitchen with your dog nearly glued to your hip while you make some chrysanthemum milk tea. It’s like you’re just idling there, staring blankly at the tea pot while you pet Indigo softly.
Like he said, Kanji’s shower doesn’t last too long. You can hear a door open and close by the time the water for your tea finishes boiling and you're fixing two cups. You take one mug and claim a stool at the kitchen island, your phone in one hand and your other hand petting your dog while he sits next to you on the floor.
Kogane steps in the doorway, his usually fluffy hair now weighed down flat with water. He’s back in his typical street wear, and it doesn’t take long for him to spot the mug in your hand. “Oh, you made some!”
“Yup, and there’s another cup over there for you.” You nod to the cup of tea you left on the counter. “Thought you might want some too, since you mentioned it.”
“Thanks!” He grabs the cup you fixed for him and leans back against the counter.
You bring your eyes up from your phone. “Did you have a nice run?”
“Yeah! It’s always nice having a running buddy, and Indy’s the best one to have.” He sets his tea to the side as the dog approaches him and he gives Indigo the attention he knows he’s expecting. Lots of scratches behind the ears and head pets.
Your eyes narrow at your cup in thought. “How did you get him as a running buddy today anyway? Did Tendou ask you to get him?”
He looks up from his seated position on the floor with the large dog practically in his lap. “Oh, no, I figured you were at work and asked Tendou if I could come get him for a run. Why?”
The man fake pouts, both his hands tangled in the dog’s fur as he gives the happy canine belly rubs. “He hasn’t been complaining about this absolute doll baby, has he?”
You chuckle, bringing your tea to your lips. “No, no. I was just curious is all.”
The two of you chat for nearly an hour. He told you about all the little things he’s been into lately, or looking forward to. There’s a new video game of some sorts he’s waiting on and he tries to talk you into playing it when it comes out. It sounds like something Tendou might enjoy, so you try to make a mental note of the title.
When you look out the kitchen window again, the one that sits just above the sink, the sun is gone and the night sky now fills the view. “I didn’t realize it was getting so late. I should probably head out.”
“Yeah, you’re probably ready for bed, huh.”
“Mm, more like dinner.” You eye your phone, not one text from Tendou since you left home. Your eyes drift to the leash sitting where you left it on the countertop. As soon as you grab it, Indigo is by your side once more. “Thank you for taking him out. I’m sure he loved that.”
“Anytime!”
You tuck your phone away and clip the leash to Indigo’s collar. Kogane reaches out for a quick hug. You drop the leash and return the hug, then head for the door. “I’ll see ya around.”
“Bye, Y/n. Bye, Indigo!” He waves as you open the door to leave. “Hey, we should have a movie night sometime! I can see when the guys are off work next week or something.”
You laugh softly, leash in hand and Indigo waiting patiently by your side. “Yeah, sounds good. Let me know, and I’ll let you know, ‘kay? See ya!”
Indigo was happy to ride in the backseat with the windows down on your short drive home. You almost thought he wouldn’t want to get out, but he must have recognized the parking lot. His tail started thumping against the seats as soon as you got parked. You didn’t even have to call for him to hop out, he beat you to it as soon as you opened a rear door for him.
Back in your apartment, Wakatoshi is gone. You don’t initially see Satori, so you assume he’s in another room. You sneak off to the kitchen to heat up some dinner to take back to your room, Indigo in tow.
After picking at your dinner, you leave your plate on the desk in the corner of your room and crawl into bed. It seems the endless energy has finally come to an end and you find yourself exhausted. Maybe you’ll actually get a good night's sleep.
Indigo is happy to curl up at the foot of the bed, tucking his nose under his tail in the nest of fresh blankets. So happy even, that he quickly falls asleep, leaving you slightly jealous at his quick fall into slumber as your mind starts to cloud with the events of the last few days.
You pull the blankets all the way up to your ears and try to clear your mind as much as you can, closing your eyes and listening to Indigo's light snores. And something you don’t notice as you start to drift to sleep is your door moving ever so slightly more open as Tendou peeks into your room. Checking on you before heading to bed himself, because he really does care.
--- As many other people with bipolar disorders, Rose suffers from seasonality which shows in a general pattern of low periods during winter and mania during spring. As such he gets agitated, restless and (overtly) energetic during this time of year { to name only a few symptoms }.
This doesn't mean that he only experiences mania in spring and only depressive periods in winter. There's still swings. But it is more one than the other in those periods.
one of the warnings for my new adhd medication is that you should contact your doctor right away if you start experiencing symptoms of bipolar disorder, including “believing things that aren’t true”
like, i get what they’re going for, but uh. a pretty integral part of believing anything is thinking it’s true.
The thought now occurs that staying up 24+ hours and not feeling at all eepy, paired with the context that three days ago I marathoned writing 18K words in 13 hours is like, maybe, like... maybe I should try to like. Be a little less passive about riding this out and try to do something proactively so that it doesn't get worse. Lol.
