#birdsmothers

[deepfried-croissant]

I love sleeping 4 hours a day!

[deepfried-croissant]

Sparkles off, I fucked up hard. I fucked up so hard today, I don't think I'll be back anytime soon within this month. This fucking sucks.

I miss my daughter, my wife, my grandchild...

[deepfried-croissant]

Deep frying a fucking croissant, I feel very depress and agitated. I'm a whirlwind of emotional stress and I don't know what words should I use.

Yes, if you're wondering I do actually deepfried croissants, it's a personal sweet treat that I like.

I wanna hug my daughter so bad rn, I miss my girlfriend so much. Like it's been a few months since WE actually bounded.

[deepfried-croissant]

I don't want to be the glue that holds my relationships anymore. I'm so tired of it, I kept trying over and over again. I'm so fucking tired and drained, I don't feel like touching Discord anymore. I have so many issues, you know that. Yet I always put my issues aside just to focus on you. I'm tired of holding everything up in every single relationship I enter. Why does it always have to be me to look for solutions. The one who constantly who constantly goes out of her way to reassure you, to love you, and just doing everything. The moment I needed to be reassured, the moment I say something wrong. You act so distance, even telling me what I did so evil and that you needed space. I tried alright? I'm tired as well, yet I don't ask that much.

I'm currently exhausted as I am typing this, it's been awhile since I slept properly.

[deepfried-croissant]

I'm so fucking tired with dealing with everyone I know now. The only consistent 'love' that I have received this fucking year is one of my daughters. The rest of them? I haven't felt any. It's just so hard to love now, I just can't show it anymore. My grandson? I can't tell anymore. Everything is just the same. "They'll always be there" and such, yet I don't feel it.

For my once beloved. I still love you, yet it's fucking hurting me so so so much. So fucking much. I just keep trying and trying, only for me to burn through the love that I carry quickly. Your love is so vague... There isn't consistency, not an ounce. Even effort or thoughtfulness... None. It just hurts, it drains me. I fucking hate it. Even just simple things are enough for me, yet nothing... I feel like putting effort and consistency is all for nothing... I never told you how hurt I was, how jealous I was, how sadden I was, how stressed I was, how tired I am, and how I genuinely feel... All because it'll just distance you, stress you out, and such... I didn't want to make you feel bad... I try typing letters for you, yet I couldn't... I couldn't think of one... There's so much things, so many words...

I don't know what to do anymore now... I'll just continue ranting sometime....

[deepfried-croissant]

I think my love has finally ran out.

[deepfried-croissant]

If I soon leave, I'll lay in fields of grass, Surrendering to the soil's gentle grasp. Its roots, my vein, will weave below, The story of us, where love will grow. Although I'm gone, my love remains, In every leaf, in every rain. Through every season, my warmth linger. A gentle touch, you'll feel with your finger.

[deepfried-croissant]

I hope there’s a place in hell where the fire is forgiving, where it warms more than it wounds, where burning feels like being held for the first time without conditions. A corner reserved for those who tried and still fell short. Let the flames be slow there, patient enough to listen, soft enough to undo the knots that I’ll never learn how to loosen.