So. Yesterday was a long day. Mostly good, but long.
Got up around 5:30, which was actually later than previous years, so we could drop the Bear Cub off at the neighbors' for the day and make it to the start (about an hour away, but you can't drive directly to the start, there are designated lots and then you bus in) on time.
Missed watching my youngest brother start, because he was in the elite wave, but I was able to watch everyone else, as long as I could manage to spot them in the crowd. Couldn't find my dad, but I think I may have been looking in the wrong wave.
Once they were all off, I took the bus back to the parking lot so I could drive my sister-in-law's car to the finish. Took me a while to find the spectator lot, but eventually I got there.
Walked over to the finish, almost walked past a group of my relatives, but they spotted me and called me over. So that was fun! Cousin P and his family were visiting from out of state, so it was great to see them (well, he was skiing, his wife and kids were there watching). And his parents, Uncle B and Aunt SB were there. And then Uncle M showed up, with Cousin T's wife and kids, so there was a whole big group of us. (If you didn't figure it out, this is a big family thing for us 😋)
Got to see Youngest Brother finish, and even managed to snap a couple of pictures despite my phone battery quickly depleting! So that was awesome. 😁
Stayed to watch both Cousin P and Cousin T finish, and then we all kinda went our separate ways.
I walked up and down Main Street a couple of times, trying to find somewhere to eat lunch, but naturally, everywhere was super crowded. I eventually settled for McDonald's, even though I was not really in the mood for it, just because it was familiar and not crowded.
I was already really tired, and I needed to sit down for a while and just be away from all the crowd and noise. My mom, who was following the race at home using the app, was texting me with updates. Said my dad was going to be coming in soon, but I had just sat down to eat, so going to watch him finish was not happening.
It was nice to be on my own and be able to make that decision for myself. Mom can get so frantic about making sure we see everyone and get pictures and meet them at the finish and all that, and it's just too much for me.
I mean, we've generally got at least 5 people to watch for, all coming in at different times, so you're standing and rushing around most of the day, and it's loud and it's crowded and it's cold and there's no break from it.
So I sat at McDonald's, and I ate my food at my usual slow pace, and then I just sat there and zoned out and stimmed for a while. Twirling my hair and rubbing it on my face, rocking a bit, playing with the little bumps on the lid of my cup, until I felt like I could get up and face the crowds and the noise again.
Saw Middle Brother come in. My mom suggested that I go over to the Celebration Tent to try and find people. So I did.
The Celebration Tent is kind of sensory hell. It's all the noise and crowds but worse because it's all enclosed in a tent. And it smells terrible, because there's beer and hot dogs and sauerkraut and a whole bunch of sweaty skiers.
I managed to make my way through it a couple of times looking for people, but couldn't find anyone I knew. I wasn't worried, I knew we'd all find each other eventually, but I didn't really know what to do next. I was not staying inside that tent, though!
So I stood outside for a while. Just stood there, watching for anyone I knew to walk by. Definitely feeling the effects of the sensory overload at this point. Wanting to just curl up in a ball in a quiet corner somewhere. Or go into meltdown mode and scream and cry and hurt myself to drown everything out (which I don't really do outwardly anymore because there was so much emphasis from my dad on "control yourself!" when I was a kid. But outwardly "controlling it" doesn't stop me from having those feelings.)
But I couldn't, so I just stood there zoning out and stimming by swaying back and forth. There was music playing, so hopefully it just looked like I was dancing a bit. 😋
Eventually got a phone call from Middle Brother, who told me where him and dad and dad's friend were, so I walked over there. Dad and his friend headed back to their hotel, while Middle Brother and I waited for Sister-in-Law to come in.
Then he decided to wait closer to the finish line, while I stayed where we were because I didn't feel like walking anymore. I told him I'd either be there or in the nearby Birkie museum when they were ready to go.
Had some good conversations with other spectators nearby. Things had slowed down and emptied out quite a bit by that point. Talked about the race, I was holding Middle Brother's skis for him, so they asked if I had skied the race. "Not this year," I told them, "But I have skied it a few times before. Hopefully I'll do it again one of these years." Told them a few stories, talked about what the course is like, etc. It was fun.
That's one of my favorite things about the Birkie - everybody sharing stories, talking with people you've never met and feeling like you instantly have a connection because of the Birkie, whether it's their first year or they've been coming for decades.
(Which reminds me - at some point while I was standing there, the guy I had shared a bus seat with that morning skied by! I was cheering for every skier, since I know how much that really helps, especially coming in that late, so he saw me - I didn't recognize him, but he was like, "Hey! Bus buddy!" And it made me smile.)
Stories really are my passion, my main, overarching "special interest" that's been consistent throughout my life. It's changed form in some ways, evolved, grown, but it's solidly there in whatever form.
(And I don't care that the clinician who diagnosed me thinks it's "too broad" to count as a SI. It's mine. So there. He didn't seem to know any more than the stereotypical view of autism anyway, which is why my official diagnosis is NVLD.)
Anyway. That's about it. (She says after writing out a long-ass post that probably no one will actually read...)
Watched Sister-in-Law finish, went back to Middle Brother and Sister-in-Law's house (with a stop at a bar along the way, and then a stop at the neighbor's to pick up the Bear Cub). Hung out with everyone, told more Birkie stories, then went to sleep because we were all exhausted.
Drove back this morning, then I went up to my old room at my parents' house and crashed, because I was still tired. Woke up, drove home, and here I am. The end!
