#bitch slaps

[executee]

If there ever was a #goal

[evilcandide]

havent watched this video in ages but this is like a mental stim for me atm

[made-it-2-60]

I fully believe this....

[jazy-momo-blog]

Person: *pisses me off* Me: *Wants to bitch slap them" Me: *steps back and thinks* "WWJJD? What Would Jessica Jones Do?" Me: *Bitch slaps them*

[jt2zemax]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVYiQQetCmI)

XD I can re-watch this moment forever!

[book--quotes]

Jennifer L. Armentrout, Obsidian (The Lux Series #1)

[behindtheghetto]

Jessie's Corner

Dear Society

  If there was ever a species, a kind of existence, a collection of cretins to never mess with; that would be the popper-popping, bathhouse frequenting and club dominating gays.

Before you get your fannies in a twist, this isn’t some homophobic PJA (Public Jessica Announcement); this is simply an honest offering of my wisdom and advice when it comes to the one kind of gays that you should stay clear of while trolling the night.

Now like the colours of the rainbow, there are many types of gays out there. You get the ghetto gays; they’re the ones closest to the breed of faux-human known as the Shaniqua, Tryshina and Shanaynay species. These ghetto gays are dangerous; they cut fast and slick and they run like they’ve been outed by a Russian mob. They’re loud, they’re in your face, but they aren’t the worst.

Then you get your pixie gays. I call them pixie gays because they look like they belong in a cage, where you feed them bird food and you hug them and are really careful with them because they look like they might break. They’re sweet, they’re the closest to having an actual vagina but they don’t and they’re so polite and quiet sometimes you don’t realise you’re even sitting on one (that actually happened once). They’re harmless.

Then you have the closet gays; they break my heart, but they’re a broad sub-species so not much can be said about them. Then you have the lumberjack-like gays. They’re the ones hoes cut gays for. These ones are straight-acting, they’re big, they’re strong and they’re all sex and man, but they love the bussy (the boy p#**y). Although they do some major damage, they aren’t nearly as dangerous as...the popper-popping-club-banging-gays.

This unashamed breed of gay is like a mix of all the other types. They’re skinny like the pixies, they’re ghetto and cut like the ghetto gays and they whoop ass like the lumberjacks. But they don’t just whoop your ass, they do it like it’s a Broadway audition. They fight like girls but have the strength of a full grown man. Ever been slapped by a gay guy? That crap hurts and there’s no returning from that. Clothes shred, fly and frail, glitter explodes, there’s grunting, screaming and scratching and your ass is the one on the floor after all this is done.

Forget the public humiliation, think of the scars and the aftermath. Now he’s kicked your behind, in a club, with his friends cheering him on and you have to pull yourself up, hold your head up high and walk out of there like you’re alright. No honey, you aren’t. You were just beaten up by a man that takes it up the hole and you best know that they could do it again if they wanted.

Them bitches pull out UFC moves like you don't know. It's unbelievable the kind of things they'll make you suffer through, with just their hands!!!!

Why am i saying this? Because i saw a very big, very straight man being bitch slapped and owned in public by a very gay, very loud and very skinny gay guy and it was horrific. It was like watching your grandmother fall down the stairs and fart at the same time; you want to laugh, but you also scared she might have died. It was wild.

This is a word of caution, because i think the world needs my advice and love. DON’T MESS WITH THE POPPER-POPPING-CLUB-BANGING-GAYS. You’ve been warned.

Let’s do this again, Bitches XXO

[haleyjoel]

I will slap the white right off this bitch's face.