why do memories hurt?
The road is long and I’m driving with a friend. Streetlights hurts my eyes from astigmatism. She’s talking but I can’t seem to listen. Long straight roads like this always get to me. Maybe it reminds me of that night when we were driving out together. Gosh, that’s 3 year ago. But the memories seem just like yesterday.
I remember that downpour and that knocking on my hostel door. There you were, standing with a smile and an umbrella in your hand. So sweet, I thought. As we walk beneath that umbrella our shoulders brushed. Your left arm across my shoulder, pulling me closer so that I don’t drench from the rain. I think I blushed but you wouldn’t have noticed. In the car, you talked nonstop. Typical you. And typical of me to listen more than sharing. I guess at that time I wasn’t really that into you but I enjoyed the attention that you gave me. Selfish, I know. Everytime you spoke, you glance at me with a smile across that lips. Cute, I can see that you’re nervous, trying to get my attention. I gave you 60% of it.
Flashback to reality. We didn’t make it far. Shutting you out of my life is my utmost regret and for that, I am sorry every single day. I miss that attention, I miss those messages you would send me, I miss those time when you would be worried if I were too busy with work and if I have eaten, I miss you dropping chocolates in the pockets of my labcoats, I miss seeing you around in the ward, I miss the way you look at me and made me feel so special, I miss that concerned look on your face when I was in trouble, I miss having you around me. Above all, I miss our forgotten time together.
I was too busy searching for shooting stars and I have missed out on the one standing right in front of me. I’m sorry that I still miss you. Somewhere deep inside, I hope you miss me too.
