Lost Soul.Broken Heart

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[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

Re-creating our barkada shot in this year's FAVC Network Games. Cheers to more fun and trashtalking peeps! Hahaha! Insert her holiness, @diwanneerica. We miss you here! #EliteBatch8 #TeamDiwa #Squad #FriendsFromtheOtherSide (at First Asia Institute of Technology and Humanities)

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

Took that more or less 7.5km jog-run-sprint workout seriously within an hour tonight coz of this terrain. Geez. My kind of scary pill! Happy Halloween! #wheninpasig #theDailyGrind

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

I was once your Alice, that psychotic fellow who always falls down the rabbit hole and be in love with my own world. But, I have lived and loved long enough in my childish dreams and took some coffee time to be able to get out. I just hope I have already sipped a cup of reality now. 😘 (at Marriott Grand Ballroom, Resorts World Manila)

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

I have two lives in a day. One is an 8-hour life that feeds me and my family and the other one is a 1-hour life of grinding. The rest of the day are just privileges. Pak ganern! (at Kapitolyo, Pasig)

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

In a sea of people, there was me. Doing some changes in the world, creating possibilities in e-learning realm. (at Colegio del Buen Consejo)

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

I was and always will be. #paulocoelho

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

I'll just keep on PLAYING the memories till I STOP to a point where it hurts no more and I can just go BACK easily and say that I have MOVED ON. #tracks #ink #bittermemories #deranged

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

The Undeeply Thought of an Imperfect Jogger

Burning all the love you gave to me in a very special way. Shredding it like fats. And I will never regret doing this one Unlike what you said to me How you regret 1 year of your life with me.

Dear my-almost-good-lover

I may be a kid in love. But I was never wrong in loving you. 1 year is not that easy. Sharing memories. Losing a part of yourself so that you both will become as one. We are that kind of thing. I know this is cliche, I just needed space and understanding. To regain what is just and truly ours at the first place. Isn't it that I said I still love you? I will always be. Remember that. It's just that there are uncertainties in our relationship that made us the wrong couple. Yes we could have faced it as one, we could have solved that one the other way around.

Thank you for all the support. You know what I am referring to. You are by far the strongest person I have known to face such thing. To accept what I can only offer. To accept my life as different among the others. You don't have to afraid next time. You don't have to be weak just as I am. Sometimes we get a little too much of everything JUST LIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. TO US.

Don't worry. I have already planned my life ahead of me. If by 10 years I am still good then I am lucky. I just wish I'll still see you by that time. No more heartaches. No more hatred. This pain shall pass soon. As for me, I have no intention of getting into a relationship this year or for the coming years. I am growing older. I am growing weaker. I have to build a life for my family and I really need to assure that. Love is now my least priority. You are by far my most loved person. Career, Fitness, and Family is my focus now.

Sorry I gave up already. I never expected this one to happen. I was so inlove then. Yet hatred and frustration made me into another kind of person. I lost myself in loving you. Please don't regret anything. Be thankful for I know you have learned something from what we called "ALMOST-GOOD-RELATIONSHIP". I have learned a lot from you. The moment we met til the night we were just hugging each other coz we both know that it's already time to part ways emotionally. More than 365 days of memories and yet all I can remember are the moments we were so inlove. I am starting to throw in the valley of memories all that we have. I will miss you my baby.Your quirky-little-thing gayness, your lips, your eyes, everything. You will always hold a part of my life, my babe. I wish you good luck on your new adventures in life. You have a better life ahead of you. Make it happen. As I have said before, to see you fulfilling your dreams will be my happiness already even if I am no longer part of it.

"RUN UNTIL THERE'S NO MORE PAIN. UNTIL THERE'S NO MORE LEFT OF THE PAST EXCEPT WHAT YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW, AT THAT MOMENT. Use it. Use it so that you can move on and forget me. I will do the same. I just don't know where and when to start"

Love,

your-almost-good-babe

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

We certainly broke up on the 3rd night of January, 2016. Right. Hell start of a new year. Was that something you planned? or just a sort spontaneity on your part? Ever since then I barely sleep well at night. Bawat paghiga ko ikaw ung naiisip ko. Kung anong nangyari sa atin. Anong ginawa kong mali. Ano ba ung naging main problem natin. Isang linggo. And it made a lot of change to me. Mind, Body, Heart and Soul. Oo aaminin ko nung nagtext ka sa akin na namimiss mo ako, gusto kong magreply agad noon. Kaso naisip ko rin pag ginawa ko un matatapos na naman ung problema nang hindi man lang napag uusapan. Until now… I have read your previous notes, letters, messages and everything. And it keeps on coming back to my senses how you used to love me with no hatred. How you used to love me even when you’re not sober. How you used to hug me tightly from the back just to say sorry. How you put hands on mine when we’re having an argument. How you used to love me despite of everything that we’ve been through. Last night, I came home having you there. It’s good to see you somehow.I wanted to say “Hi” kaso tulog ka na. As I was going through my stuffs last night I can’t help but to think that the chances I gave you before will still work. That you will still hold on to your promises that there will be a better US. Kasi alam mo nung binigay ko sayo ung OO ko ubos na ako. Walang wala na ako. Galit nalang ung nasa akin. How I wish napansin mo un. I may have casted the sweetest smiles or those cracky laughs over the holidays but then deep inside there was a part of me longing for redemption. Umasa AKO kasi may PANGAKO ka. Nangako ka kasi. Hindi naman ako aasa eh kung wala ka namang binitawang salita. Okay, let’s just say that I am still there. Wag na kasi umasa. Move on. Ganun. Pero hell, that’s US! It was not just for me. It’s OUR RELATIONSHIP after all. Today, I have read your note. It came as a surprise to me. You really checked my planner. FYI, those were my bucket list for 2016. You do mind why my plans are centralized on me only? Do you? Coz you never showed interest of creating one with me. Sorry but it’s just how things have been going. You’re still part of my life. You made a big part of my 2015. It’s a life changing year for me. You were there with me. How I wish I can just turn back time. Back to the days where we are so inlove with each other. You always assume things, that I’ll be fine without you which is in fact you’re one of the reason why I am always fine. Nakakalungkot lang isipin na porke’t halos bumitaw na ako ay bibitaw ka na rin. Ito pala yun, ung sacrifices natin. Personal or pagdating mas sa relasyon natin. Ito pala yun. One thing more, you see things as something to be worried about especially when it comes to dealing with our future? Seryoso? Don’t deny it, AS QUOTED “Which is a good thing coz I don’t have to worry anymore” Tangina! You can’t blame me if I say things about. I do it here. And in here, you are anonymous. “Malungkot lang na mas naniwala ka sakanila” HUH? Kanino? Sa mga kaibigan ko? Eh putangina. Halos magmukha na nga akong kaawa awa sa mata nila kasi hindi ko naman na alam gagawin ko sa sarili ko. Ung tamang gawin para bumawi. Just so you know, they never judged you. Those times na kasama ko sila, they never fired at your back. They were just there to listen. Kasi un lang naman ung kailangan ko. Yun lang naman ung magagawa nila. Kasi parte yun nang relasyon. Sawang sawa na rin ako sa litanya nila na “Bhe, chill lang. Aayos rin yan. Hintayin mo lang siya na mag reach out rin” Yes, you’re maybe a man with no perfect attitude. But a man without dreams? Okay. Somehow I judged you. But one thing is for sure, you are a coward man and you cannot even make any action, not a single one, to make anything better for us. Kasi you thought you were where you are supposed to be. I am sorry. All I can do all throughout this time is to guide you, REMIND YOU. I never asked to be a captain of your own life. I have my own life too. I have issues also. Don’t rely on me. Be a man. Grow up. You’re no longer a teenager. You decide on your own. Yan yung mahirap sayo eh. Wala kang sariling desisyon pagdating sa ating dalawa. I am really sorry kung nag overpowered kita. Pero sana naisip mo rin kung saan pupulitin ang relasyon natin kung walang alpha sa ating dalawa. Sabihin mo sakin kung saan ako nagkulang at maluwag ko yung tatanggapin. After all, this is still talks about US. You never have to choose whether to let me go or not coz after all I wasn’t even at your options. Not even at your priorities. Though I feel sorry to what have become of us. I will never feel sorry towards my decision. I will never feel sorry that I have loved a man like you. What is somehow makes me feel sorry even more is what you have become as a man after our relationship. I wish you good life anyway. Always. We always feel pain after all. Those stitches after all will leave a mark, memories to cherish.

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

Who would have thought that we'll be like this at the start of 2016. Like, what the fuck is wrong you? Hindi ko na kaya. Wala na ako. Ubos na ako. Putangina talaga. Pumunta ako sa mall kung saan maraming tao. Nagpakalasing ako sa dami ng tao. Ang dami kong napagtanto. Sobrang dami para magbigay sa akin ng lakas ng loob para sabihin ko sa sarili ko na TAMA NA. TAPOS NA ANG 2015. TAPOS NA TAYO. WALA NG TAYO. #1. SELENA GOMEZ Be like. - Sabi nga sa kanta ni Selena na SOBER, "You don't know how to love me when you're sober". Sakto! Totoo naman eh. Mahal mo lang ako pag masaya ka. Pag okay mood mo. Pag wala tayong problema. Pero sige, subukan nating magkaroon ng konting tampuhan, mas mataas pa sa Burj Khalifa ung PRIDE mo. #2. SELF-RIGHTEOUS Be like. - Am I? Siyempre sa paningin mo mali ako (sarcasm nalang ung SELF-RIGHTEOUS mo) kasi hindi naman ako nagfollow sa norms and morals mo. Ano ba ung dapat sa isang relasyon na tipuhan mo? self-right·eous adjective having or characterized by a certainty, especially an unfounded one, that one is totally correct or morally superior. I am very certain that I have already exhausted my patience in our kind of relationship. Oo! Sa mata ng mga kaibigan ko, TANGA AKO! MARTIR! NAKAKAAWA! Ikaw ba naman kasing iyakan ko nang ganun? Ikaw ba naman kasi ung naging dahilan para hindi ako makatulog ng maayos ng ilang linggo? Ikaw ba naman kasi ung patuloy na mag-ignore sakin pero ako naman eh patuloy pa rin sa pagmamahal sayo kasi nga nung mga oras na un sinasabi ko sa sarili ko "It's just how things happen. WE will get over it soon. We will settle it the soonest" Pero naubos na ung SOON at ako lang ata ung nakapagpatawad at nag grow sa bawat alitan natin. How do you settle an argument by the way? Ako, I communicate as much as possible. Kaya nga every details ng hinaing ko alam mo. Kahit galit na galit na ako, konting yakap or lambing mo lang nawawala na yun kasi nga nailabas ko naman na so what's the point of going on fire again, right? Pero ikaw? Ayun, naglambing lang. Tapos na. Effortless ka eh! Kapal ng mukha mo! #3. LIFE PERSPECTIVE. - As I came along a good friend of mine in a pool of a crowd, we talked over some serious matters. We came to a point that relationship thing. Ayun, it just happened that pasok ka sa linyang ito. "Bhe, wala kang mapapala sa mga taong walang plano sa buhay. Come what may nalang. Ganun? Nako." Sorry but you've grown into a man like this. Yung mga simpleng plano nga natin hindi mo nagagawa eh. Oo, lahat un napansin ko. Ung pag process mo ng passport mo, ung paglabas natin with friends (um-OO ka na kasi na one time lalabas tayo with my friends), Anniversary trip natin, ultimo pagbili ng gamit sa bahay hindi mo naisakatuparan. Ako tong si gagong nagpakahirap na magipon ng pera at mag invest ng time para sa mga dates na mangyayari un pero wala naman pala akong mapapala. Kasi nga wala ka naman talaga plano. And take note of this, tatak mo na rin sa kokote mo, GROW UP! HINDI PORKET KUMIKITA KA NG PERA EH OKAY KA NA. I PITY YOU RIGHT NOW. Oo, hindi ako mayaman. Wala pa akong naaambag sa pamilya ko. Pero the fact that I am making something out of my life is something to be thankful. I am not judging you. It's just how I see things with you. Judging is basing it from nothing anyway.There, I have lay down my proofs/ theories at all. #4. WAVELENGTH. - Seriously? Dati hindi ko pinapansin ung mga ganitong bagay. Oo, mas bata ka sa akin (ng isang taon lang naman). Ako naman mature na siguro magisip despite the fact that I only have gone into a 1 short-term relationship which brought me to a more mature level. Siguro kasi nakikita ko sarili ko sayo dati. Hindi ba sinabi ko pa sayo, ayaw ko maranasan mo ung emotional damage na nangyari sakin before. The abuses I came along emotionally. Pero ang lagay, ikaw rin namanang magbibigay sakin nun ulit. Sige, let's just pretend that it's already normal in a relationship. Hindi ko alam kung saang sulok ng katawan mo hinuhugot yang kapal ng apog mo para maging ma-pride lagi sa relasyon natin. I have learned loving the things you love. KPop, Movies, KPop, KPop, KPop... aside from your friends. Wala akong hard feelings sa mga kaibigan mo. Perspective nila yan. Kung ano tingin nila sakin based on your stories, then fine. Just let it be. Basta alam ko maayos akong nakitungo sakanila. Saan pa ba tayo hindi magkasundo? Pagsisimba, gawain sa bahay, ano pa? Communication. #5. LAST THOUGHT. - Naisip ko lang, RELATIONSHIP STAYS STRONG BECAUSE OF A WELL-ROUNDED COMMUNICATION. LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH. UNDERSTANDING ALSO. Dumating ako sa point na ikaw nalang ung iniitindi ko lagi. Kakainin mo sa umaga. Ung pagod mo. Ung mga gawain mo pag weekend sakin nalang para makapag pahinga. Pero ako? SELECTIVE KA LANG SAKIN. I was not your priority at all. Not even for a moment. PUTANGINA MO! Don't worry. Nailabas ko na ung sama ng loob ko dito sa post na ito. (75%) I'll be fine. I will always be fine just how I cope up with other things before ALONE.

[dephus]

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

Do you love me? Do you need me? Am I that special? or am I just someone you barely know? The point is nothing but a drop of rain in a vast universe. It will disappear soon. Imagine you can see the whole universe. You'll never notice the very tiniest details. You'll be enthralled to see how wide and fascinating our world can be. Then you'll ask yourself, "Why?" "Why did he love me?" "Why does he need me?" "Why does it feel like I am that special to him?" "Why can't he just barely know me?" You continue to question yourself until you no longer notice that you are perpetually floating in the vastness of space. That moment you questioned yourself, he was thinking about you and that his day is night and his night is day and yet you're still in his mind. Remember that moment he made promise to you, that's real and sincere. Will you just kill it with kindness and be lost forever? That's a promise you need to accept. He will be forever with you. You looked around the wilderness of the universe and you realized that YOU are his UNIVERSE and your UNIVERSE is your own creation.

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

PAASA. Minsan ako. Minsan Ikaw. Pero madalas IKAW pa rin. Hindi naman humihingi ng kahit anong bagay na BONGGA. Hindi naman ako masyado nagde-demand sayo. I just want some quality time and some good talk. A good conversation. Akala ko kasi our weekend will be a great one. Last Tuesday was our 7th Monthsary and I was like, "I-surprise ko nga siya. Sana magustuhan niya" then it happened. Na-surprise ka pa nga. Sobra. Tuwang-tuwa ako kasi kahit papaano nagustuhan mo ung ginawa ko. Hindi man kita maidala sa mamahaling restaurant o kaya ay mabilhan ng maraming gamit sana'y sapat na ung munting efforts ko para mapasaya kita. Then you gave a promise, "Babawi po ako sa weekends, Babe." Ako naman si Mr. Asado, sabi mo kasi mga 5PM tayo lalabas today at pupunta tayo ng SM, magpapalinis ng kuko at magpapa footspa. Pero pasado alas-6 na nang gabi tulog ka pa rin. Alam ko naman pagod ka eh. Puyat. Ako rin naman. Masakit rin ung likod ko. Pero umaasa pa rin ako na lalabas tayo today. Natuloy naman tayong lumabas. Yun nga lang habang nag aayos tayo ang dami ng parinigan. Hindi naman ako pa-Bebe sa paningin, ayaw ko lang magalit ng todo, at ayaw ko rin ipakita ung tampo ko sayo. Alam mo naman ung isa sa mga nagpapasama ng loob ko diba? Yung hindi tumutupad sa usapan. Kanina habang papunta tayong North Edsa, alam ko ayaw mo na tumuloy. Gabi na kasi. Medyo hindi ko na mapigil ung tampo ko nun kasi feeling ko ika-cancel mo na naman ung lakad. As if you're making a big favor to me? Hello? Sino ba nagbitiw nang mga salitang "BABAWI AKO SA WEEKEND". Dagdag mo pa ung sinabi mo na may plano ka over the weekend. Tapos un ending, "Magpapahinga lang pala tayo buong Linggo" kung iisipin mo, 6 na tayo nag gayak. So, that leaves me only 6 hours to have your free time. Akala mo kasi nagpapa bebe ako sayo lagi. Hindi yun ganun. Pinipigil ko nalang ung tampo ko. I am already diverting my attention to other things para imbes na mag mukmok ako eh makalimutan ko nalang un. Na-appreciate ko ung idea na nilibre mo ako ng dinner, binilhan mo ako ng bagong headset, at sinamahan mo ako bumili ng pants. Kaso I was left guilty when you said to me kanina, "Niyaya kita kasi ikaw ang may gustong lumabas" Hindi ba nakakasakit un? Wala pala sa kusang loob mo na lumabas kasama ako. Alam mo yung asang asa ako na magiging masaya ung DATE natin today kaso hindi eh, napuno lang yun ng parinigan at prangkahan. Inagahan ko na nga gumising kanina para maaga tayo makapag breakfast kaso epic fail pala. Late ka na pala uuwi ng bahay. Nag breakfast ka na kasi with your officemates. Tapos pagkatapos natin kumain, alam mo na, tapos saka ka na nagpahinga. Akala ko gigising ka before 5 eh. Alam ko paikot ikot na itong sinasabi ko. Pero wala eh. Alam kong kulang ung mga na type ko kanina. Going back to the idea na niyaya mo ako kasi gusto ko lumabas, talaga? Sinabi ko ba na gusto ko lumabas this weekend? Ang sa akin lang naman eh magkwentuhan tayo , mag bonding. Kaso ang hirap pang kunin sayo yun. Minsan, tinatanong ko sarili ko, should I really have to deal with these stuffs? Open naman ako pag sa mga ganitong issues at nasasabi ko un sayo. Hanggang doon nalang ba yun? Aasa nalang ba ako lagi na someday you'll be more emphatic and caring just like before. It's so ironic, magkasama tayo sa bahay pero ang layo ng ugnayan natin sa isa't isa. Are you getting my point? Nung nagyaya yung mga kaibigan mo na lumabas, alas-2 palang ng hapon umalis ka na. Di nalang ako kumibo kahit alam kong pagod na pagod ka noon pero ung alas-5 sakin parang hirap na hirap ka pang tuparin. Kung hindi ka naman nagbitiw ng salita noon eh hindi naman ako aasa eh kahit hayaan pa kita matulog hanggang kinabukasan. Sino ba naman ako para istorbohinka diba? Ayaw ko naman pilitin ang isang tao na lumabas kung ayaw naman. Sayang ung pagkakataon na ma-experience ko ung company event sa MOA kasi pinagpalit ko sa QUALITY TIME natin. I don't have the luxury of time kaya kapag may pagkakataon sinusulit ko talaga. Pagkauwi natin, medyo okay na tayo. Ay hindi. Okay na tayo. Okay na okay na. Nagpaload ka pa nga sa broadband eh kasi manonood ka na naman ng SNSD videos. Pero balak mo ata magpaumaga kakapanood? Di man lang tayo nakapag usap ng mabuti. Kanina gumagawa ako ng listahan ng groceries natin. Nahihiya pa akong mang istorbo sayo kasi iba na ung dating nang facial expression mo. Nahihirapan kasi ako sa budgetting so I have to ask you some things. Saglit lang naman un eh. Nagnakaw lang naman ako ng ilang segundo ng QUALITY TIME mo. Di ka man lang magkwento sakin. Wala na akong balita sayo. Sinubukan kong yayain ka na matulog, alam ko inaantok ka na rin kasi nga sa jeep kanina papikit pikit na yung mata mo. Pero hindi. Pinauna mo pa ako na matulog. Kaya di ko na napigilan ung sinabi ko kanina dahilan para i-shutdown mo ung laptop at tuluyang matulog. Anong masama dun sa thought na MAS INUUNA mo pa yun kesa sakin or ung thought na hindi ka na naman makausap dahil lang sa kakapanood mo dyan? Kaya weekend diba? Para sa ating dalawa? Ay hindi. Para sayo at sa SNSD pala. Umasa na naman ako. Assumera kasi ako. Tapos kinulit kita. Kasi tinalikuran mo na ako. Kiniliti kita pero galit ka na. Sabi ko, "Bakit mo pinatay ung laptop? Kinukuha ko nga ung tulog ko dun sa ingay ng videos eh" tapos hindi ka na kumibo. So kinulit nalang kita na magkwentuhan tayo. Pero hindi. Wala. Ayaw mo makipag kwentuhan sakin. Para akong hangin. Para akong istatwa. Hindi ko mapigilan maikumpara ung treatment mo sa akin at sa mga kaibigan mo. Buti pa pag sa mga kaibigan mo nakakapag kwento ka. Sariling lenggwahe niyo pa! Syempre pag nakikita kitang ganun masaya na ako kasi masaya ka. Tapos kanina sinabi ko sayo "Kwentuhan nalang tayo" pero sabi mo "WALA KA SA MOOD" ay shet! Nahiya tuloy ako. Para akong batang nanghihingi ng katiting na atensyon sayo. I just want to reconnect. Ito pala kasi ung sinasabi mo na "BABAWI AKO SA WEEKEND". Umasa ako. Asadong asado with bola bola pa! Sarap!

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

MANILA GUY BE LIKE....

Like, few years ago it was just a joke that someday I'll be living in Manila as well as working around it. But look, here I am now. Assigned on one of the premiere schools and living in one of the old districts of Manila. So, living in Manila for the first few weeks, I have learned a lot. From household chores down to time management issues and oh! Please, I almost forgot, it's never an issue if there's a baha (flood) anywhere. It's Manila, bro! Deal with it. 1. Living with your partner Be like, "Good morning babe. Bili ka na ng almusal pls." But the thing is, you can only have this at weekend. Wag akong pa-bebe. Ako pa rin ang mag aasikaso sa sarili ko during weekdays. However, it's such a great feeling to finally have someone beside you from good times to bad times. Just disregard the moments na may pabebe moments kayong dalawa at mainit ang ulo niyo pareho. Hello? Walang relasyong walang away all throughout. It’s common. 2. Bahay, apartment, room. Whatever you call it. It's your humble abode at all. Be it dude, sabihin mo nang cheap kung kwarto lang afford niyo at hindi buong bahay, economically wise, it's still feels like home. Basta kumpleto sa gamit at cozy ang area. Go na go! We are thankful enough that we have found a place like this. We still have privacy. 3. Grocery date on a week of sahod. Eh kasi hindi mo siya mayaya on a weekdays na mag date dahil umaga ang pasok ko at gabi naman ang pasok niya, dinaig pa namin ang magkaibang mundo, diba? Bawi-bawi nalang during weekends. Whether ipagluluto ka niya o yayayain mo siyang lumabas sabay palibre sakanya. HAHAHAHA! Minsan lang naman magpa libre eh. Sorry na. Gipit lang. I LOVE YOU! Para sa sahod thing, para talaga siyang sibuyas, nakakaiyak. Dinaig pa nito ang utot ko sa bilis nang pagkalat eh, wala. Ubos agad. Should I consider applying for a new job? Should I? huh? Huh? Tell me! 4. Tap water is always tap water Subukan mong uminom at tignan ko lang kung saan ang uwi mo kundi sa CR. Though, nakakaputi nga talaga ang tubig ng Manila. Amoy chlorine talaga eh. Pero hindi ibig sabihin pwede mo nang inumin para maging maputi rin ang puri mo. Wag kang umasa the, nognog ka forever. Kingina ka! Hahaha 5. That thing called "LONG DISTANCE TRAFFIC" Mas masakit pa ito sa long distance traffic eh. Ung ilang kanto ka nalang oh kaso umuulan, sumabay pa ang mga walang modong drivers na pasok nalang ng pasok hanggang sa magkaroon na ng karambola sa kalsada. Wala na. Umaasa ka nalang na sana umangat bigla ung jeep na sinasakyan mo papunta sa destinasyon nito. 3 kanto na nga lang inabot ka pa ng 30 minutes na naghintay. Ung mababali na leeg mo sa kakasilip kada uusad ang jeep. Ay manong tabi lang po! Oh tapos sasabihan ka pa ni manong na "Sana kanina ka pa bumaba" Kingina ka po. 6. Party bitches on a rainy night. Oh my! This is the most gross thing I have experienced for the first few weeks here in Manila. If there's a baha, expect a Party! Like, here was the scenario, I woke up around 4AM to answer the call of nature. With my bladder going to explode, I rushed to the bathroom. Only to find out there was a party. Nahiya ako bigla, pakiramdam ko gate crasher ako eh. Look, there's a lot of IPIS there! Hello. Hindi lang isang dosena, more than that. In every corner, like they are everywhere. Insert goosebumps here! Yuck! Feeling ko that time lumaki ung bladder ko tapos nagsalita siya sabi OKAY NA AKO. MATULOG KA NA ULIT. AYOKONG MAKASIRA NG PARTY. TITIISIN KO NALANG ITO. DAHIL NASA PAGTITIIS ANG SARAP. Shet that! It was during that time that I realized that every party is an indicator of baha outside. 7. BAHA be like, how deep is your love? After that rant on 4AM I woke up like this, SHIT! Paano ako lalabas, ung gate lubog sa bahay pero ung kalsada sa labas hindi naman. Shet. I am torn. Ilang toneladang tubig lang ang nagse-separate sakin sa idea na kung papasok ba ako o papasok ba talaga ako? Shet that! Diskarte diskarte rin! Syempre. Late ka na naman. In the end, late ka naman lagi. And who cares kung baha? Eh Manila yan. Kelan pa ba naiba yan? 8. Time Management. Where's your manager? Call him pls! Pwede ba ako magreklamo sa bed ko? Tangina ka po. Ang sarap mo higaan kaya ayan tuloy, ang late ko na pumasok. Shit ka forever pero love pa rin kita. Pakiusap lang. Pabangunin mo naman ako nang maaga. Gusto ko nang maging huwarang manggagawa. I love you! Pakyu forever!

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

Was I overreacting on some things these past few days? Alright. I just want to be fit. Eve from the start, I want this kid of body, that kind of muscle toe, try this kind of workout. And everything. So? Nowadays, being fit and healthy is a must. Last July 18, we have this APE (Annual Physical Examination), as an employee I must undergo such thing so that they can monitor my health. During my doctor's evaluation (towards the end), here's the scenario. I entered the room with only 1 person waiting there, that's the doctor. He was waiting to check me, my whole body, over my deadly gorgeous body. (Kidding) Then I handed over him my form, the he started to tap his tablet entering some data from my form. The after a few seconds he said "Overweight ka" And I was like, "Po? Are you sure?" At the back of my mind, "Potangina naman. Halos dahon na nga lang kainin mo pero overweight ka pa rin?" And he was like, "Yes sir, (hinarap yung tablet screen sakin) overweight ka po" Aba! Shet. Porket Malaki ang tiya eh overweight a agad. At hindi pa siya nakutento, inulit iya pa yun ng ilang beses na parang magandang musika sa kanya. Shet! Sarap lamutakin ung mukha niya gamit ang kamao ko eh! Pero siyempre dahil Maria Clara ako, hindi ko giawa. Hintayin mo lang na magka abs ako at haharap ulit ako sayo. Sana next time may option/ result na diyan sa APP na gamit mo na nagsasabing AKO ay may GORGEOUS SHAPE / BODY. Pakyu! Rakenrowl to the world!

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

Then who am I to judge you? Feelings mo yan eh. Pero paano naman ung feelings ko? Hindi naman ako nangangaliwa. Big issue na ba sa isang relasyon ngayon kapag nagtatrabaho ka 8-9 hours a day. As much as I want to get in touch with you most of the time ay hindi ko rin naman magawa dahil abala kami sa pagiging facilitator. I've tried so hard so make this relationship work. Sana naman pahalagahan mo ung mga simpleng bagay na yun hindi yung lagi ka nalang negative. Alam mo kung gaano kita kamahal. Don't doubt that kasi mas masaya ako kumpara sa dati so stop pushing me back to my past. Wala na akong pakialam doon. Professional ako sa lahat ng bagay kaya kung iniisip mong nakikipaglandian po ako sa mga katrabaho, well, eat ur words kasi hindi ako ganung tao. I value friendship as much as I value relationship.

[yourguyfromtheotherside-blog]

Hindi ko alam kung bakit nagawa ko yun sakanya. Nagalit ako. For real? Hindi ko sinasadya at natakot ako sa ginawa. Natakot kaya siya sakin? Na-disappoint? Hindi ko intensiyon gawin yun at nadala lang ako sa bugso ng damdamin. Akala ko kasi binibiro niya lang ako. Ang tahimik niya eh. Yung pakiramdam ko kasi NAGTATAMPO na ako? Kanina pa ako gutom eh tapos siya di man lang niya ako magawang ayain na kumain muna bago ko ipagpatuloy yung gawain ko. Kulang nalang basagin ko ung screen ng laptop ko sa sobrang inis. Tinanong ko siya kahit alam ko naman ung sagot (Pero, ang totoo, most of the time hindi ko alam ung sagot dahil wala naman tayong kasiguraduhan sa lahat ng bagay) "Sawa ka na ba sa ugali ko?" Hindi niya ako sinagot. Tinignan niya lang ako. Masakit ung ma-reject pero mas masakit ung hindi mo marinig ung gusto mong marinig lalo na sa taong mahal mo. Oo na, maarte ako. Mahal ko siya eh. Habang binubuo ko itong sulatin na ito, katabi ko siya. Tulog. Napaka payapa ng mukha niya. Parang hindi kami nag away kanina… Ilang beses ko na siyang tinanong, pero lubha atang ayaw niya akong sagutin at napaka labo niya kausap. Konti nalang at puputok na ang bulkan. Sa huling pagkakataon tinanong ko siya, "Bakit ka ba ganyan? Ano ba problema?" Pero hindi pa rin niya ako sinasagot. Akala niya siguro nakikipagbiruan ako. Gusto ko na umiyak kanina pa. Hindi ko na mapigilan ung sarili ko kaya tumayo na ako baka kasi pag nagtagal pa ako ay masaktan ko pa siya ng pisikal. Hindi ko na nga napigilan, nasipa ko ung upuan sa tabi niya. Ganun kasi ako magalit. Mas mabuti nang magtabog at saktang ang sarili wag lang ung taong mahalaga sayo. Pumunta ako sa kabilang kwarto, huminga ako ng malalim. Nagiisip sa kawalan. Di ko namalayan na sumunod pala siya, kinukuha niya ung cellphone na kanina ko pa pala hawak. Nakipag agawan ako sakanya. Sinubukan niya akong suyuin, hinalikan at niyakap niya ako pero pinagtulakan ko siya palayo. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko nagawa un pero nasaktan rin ako doon. Tumayo ako papalayo sakanya at pumasok sa CR. Ilang saglit rin ay lumabas ako. Pumasok ulit ako sa kwarto pero nakita ko siya na aktong nag-aayos ng gamit. Iiwanan na ba niya ako? Natakot ako sa ideya na yun? Kaya niya pala akong iwanan. Samantalang ako hindi ko man lang magawa sakanya un. Mahal ko siya eh. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at hinila ko siya palapit sakin at niyakap ng mahigpit. Tila kumakalas siya sa mahigpit kong yakap pero nakipaglaban ako. Ayaw ko siyang pakawalan. Di ko na nga napigilan ang sarili ko at may ilang patak ng luha na lumabas sa aking mga mata. Sa pagkakataong yun, nalaman ko sa sarili ko na hindi lang pisikal na bagay ang mahal ko sakanya, mas lalo ko siyang minahal dahil sa ginawa niya. Naiintindihan niya ung disposition ko sa buhay at kung sino nga ba talaga ako pag kaming dalawa lang. Ang laki ng kasalanan ko sakanya. Sana hindi nabawasan ang pagmamahal niya sakin. Alam ko mababasa na naman niya itong sulatin ko na ito and I don't care. Mahal kita Babe. You're the best thing I ever had.