for the one sentence thing: "i can't believe you've done this!"
“I can't believe you've done this!”
“Don’t you dare say that when you were loving it 15 minutes ago!”
You glare at your butt-naked fiancé, who is pacing at the end of the bed, and is officially redder in the face than a well-cooked lobster. For emphasis, you wildly gesture to the ridiculous array of blown-up condoms that dangle in bunches from the ceiling by coloured streamers, yelling, “All of these condoms, Seokjin! At least 50 fucking condoms, and you didn’t think to save a single one for us to actually use while we bang?!”
Seokjin suddenly stops as though he has collided with an invisible wall, whirling on his heel. “Hey. Hey! I was thinking about you, okay! I wanted to make you laugh, and I did. You found this fucking hilarious and weirdly romantic!” he protests, crossing his arms. His boner is still raging, pointing directly at your nose, because of course your angry bitch face, paired with your similarly exposed body, is a means for his dick to remain standing.
“Of course I did, because I fucking love you, you idiot!” you hiss, getting up on your knees so that your eyes are almost level with his own, rather than his erect cock. “But what’s the point of turning our bedroom into a condom-themed sex parlour for Valentine’s Day when we don’t even have a spare condom to do the sex with, huh?!”
Seokjin opens his mouth, though slowly closes it, thinking better of arguing your very valid point. His narrowed eyes linger on your own fiery stare for a moment, and then, they begin to flit around the bedroom. Inspecting the bunches of condom-made balloons, searching for one that is potentially small enough to be untied, released of its air, and rolled onto his dick. But before you can sigh and tell him that you will just risk his mediocre pull-out game, which has diminished rather than improved since your university days, Seokjin is exhaling loudly through his nose and exiting the bedroom.
You gape, confused. Inwardly praying that he has remembered some stray, possibly expired condom in his wallet. “And where do you think you’re going?”
“To get a fucking sandwich bag.”






