Her Perspective
Household Economics
A household is traditionally defined as a group of people who occupy a housing unit. Economics is the study of how people use resources and respond to incentives (among other things.)
Essentially, we will be offering our perspective on the ways a couple should manage their finances while living together.
Ok, so I could hit this topic from several viewpoints. Majority of them, in my opinion, are worst case scenarios based on what others have experienced in a situation they wish they would’ve evaluated deeply.
Options:
* Should you pool resources together in a separate account for the sake of bills? (He has an account, she has an account but they put an agreed upon amount into a joint account.)
*Should you each have a specific list of bills each of you pay? (She pays electric, water, gas, cable, insurance, groceries and he pays mortgage and car notes)
*Should you stream all resources together, both manage or have a primary manager? (All funds are merged into a joint account, he/she pays all of the bills directly from this account.)
So here’s my take on it.
Trust.
“Never let your left-hand know what your right hand is doing.” 😏
How many of us have heard this advice from an elder? For most of us it means look out for yourself first above all else. Always have emergency funds/resources in a secret place...just in case the relationship takes a turn. Although it came from a place of love and protection, it means that everyone, including those you are building a life with, aren’t privy to the totality of your life’s intricate details. While this advice was “free game”, it gives one the preconceived notion that there is a high risk that you’ll be deceived, so you should take cautionary steps ahead of time. 😔
I don’t know about you, but if I can’t trust you I would need to re-evaluate our entire situation. I can’t love you fully if I’m always cautious of your intent. We can’t build up to moving in together, freely sleep together, be expected to hold each other down emotionally, spiritually and physically BUT put a block on the financial parts of our lives. Nah Bruh! 😒The restrictions should be equally placed on all aspects not just some if that’s the case.
If you’re all in, that means just that! Make it work! Typically in a relationship there’s one person who is more fiscally organized so that person would make sure the bills are paid in a timely manner. Each month finances can be visited in a round table like setting and all spending habits can be evaluated and agreed upon.
All recreational purchases should have a cap and if that amount is going to be exceeded, the two would need to come to a consensus... an agreement! Communicate with your partner, if they don’t feel it’s the right time for the purchase then come up with a timeline that leads you to that wanted item. It’s practical my loves.
It’s about accountability. Set expectations, CLEAR ones, BEFORE you take the leap of living together. That’s a pretty big life change and you want to make sure the both of you are all in! If you’re not confident about it, you’re probably not ready for cohabitation. Give it some time and then revisit it. Always find out what your partner thinks of finances before. Are they fiscally responsible? Maybe you can point them in the right direction that leads to educating themselves. Boss up together and then pool your resources. Other cultures do it all the time. 🤷🏾♀️
