#blackwinged-silversolace

[blackwinged-silversolace]

《《 after neglecting this for months <<' I have finally finished this gift for @unforestalledreturn Based off our [Play with Fire] thread... we had no idea what we had gotten into then XD but damn. Intense.

Please do not 'REPOST/STEAL' - Reblogs welcomed.

[azure-steel]

Hollow Me Through, Worship Me Whole - @blackwinged-silversolace

The decent into madness was a long one. An arduous sloping stony path where purchase slipped beneath feet; sudden lurching motions set as reminders of the journey, cruelly teasing the mind into believing outcrops of brittle stone could possibly aid in the return to clarity. Stone that would crumble in your hands the moment one dared to reach.

But there was no rushing of winds against ones face as they eventually come to the end of that path and plummet into the black, no nauseating lurch of the gut accompanying the fall into that thick roiling pit of despair. And it was all consuming, devouring the flesh and all living feeling until nothing remained, invading the mind like mould. 

The fight to hold on to that simple sense of humanity began to wane the moment Cloud had allowed the nightmare absolute domination. And he had allowed it, willingly so. When the occasional hauntings were less the appearance of ghosts from a past he couldn’t remember, when they gained substance, when the dreams could touch upon shivering mortified flesh and cast their shadows like shrouds of ice creating frigid plains where all feelings came to die. 

No longer a nightmare, no longer a mere dream, but a need, an addiction, insanity in its purest most beautiful form; it was warm here, a welcome reprieve from the bone drying struggle to keep afloat when it was so much easier to sink. Hope became the fantasy, hope of holding on to what he once knew, what he used to be, cast aside to favour the biting promises of becoming whole again, to be one within the cold unyielding embrace of that Silver Calamity. It all went against everything he’d ever stood for; the hero, the fated mystic warrior of Gaia, his destiny engraved amongst the star strewn sky to birth a new era of peace unto men. 

It wasn’t to be. 

And as he stands before the gaping maw of the crater, called here by a voice he couldn’t quite hear, by a hideous glare he couldn’t quite see, Cloud gazes forth, eyes shining bright in the fading blaze of his own consciousness, beyond the borders of desolate rock sickeningly eager to meet his fate. 

Alone, he takes that first fateful step, and then another, another, one after the other, the gravel spattered path crunching beneath the hard soles of each heavy boot.  

The chill of the cave was barely felt as Cloud descends, lifting a single hand to grasp firmly, the blade he once held so dear, a prominent facet of his identity, a link to Cloud’s troubled fractured history. He swings the weapon to his side, the broad steel tip screaming against the stone before he allows the handle to slip, absently, and clatter heavily to the ground. 

It wasn’t to be. 

They’d chosen wrongly, a broken man who craved the bitter fruits of self-destruction as a drowning man craved air. To bleed before the feet of the one who ravaged him so brutally, and bestow upon him this ardent malignant passion Sephiroth had dared him to taste -- only once. 

And so he leaves the blade behind to rust and rot on the cold damp ground. 

Cloud Strife wouldn’t be needing it anymore. 

[primalvessel]

Gods of the Sands

@blackwinged-silversolace liked for a Specific Starter!

It was another warm day out, as was the norm for that time of year and that meant that long days and short nights, the gladiators training under the heat of the sun until they were called in to eat. 

Under the watchful eye of the doctore, Maru and the seven other gladiators had been paired off with their practice weapons to spar or separated to use the training dummies or exercise on their own in the yard space available to them. The steady knock of wooden weapons clashing was the melody of the training yard.

It was admittedly, just another day. Rumour had it from above though, that some big fights were on the docket.

Though Maru’s preferred weapon was the lance, the glaive specifically (as a non-native gladiator, he had a preference for non-native weapons), he had conceded the point that he needed to at least be proficient with the sword and thus that day found him stood at one of the dummies to practise the swings.

He wasn’t new to wielding the sword but he clearly wasn’t as confident with it as he was with his preferred weapon and the swings against the dummy were clumsy at first, the movements so different to the lance that it took him a moment for muscle memory to kick in.

His concession to using the sword was that he didn’t take a shield, unlike most of the other gladiators. He found them unwieldy and cumbersome and someone as lithe and light-footed as he favoured maneuverability over defense.

With the sun above them, it wasn’t long before the exertion of it had the feline-featured male sweating, naked but for the cloth wrap around his midsection and the sandals on his feet. A moment’s shade and a drop of water to wet his lips were in order and with that in mind, he finally lowered his sword arm to his side, rotating his shoulder and rubbing at it as he made his way to the side of the yard sheltered from the sun.

Wiping his brow with the back of his arm and breathing heavily with the exertion, Maru turned to look back out over the training space at the other gladiators, admiring their form from the relative cool of the shade.

One day he’d no longer need to walk among them if he didn’t have to. One day he’d be free.

[blackwinged-silversolace]

“ everything that you feel is just a chemical reaction inside your head. ” (@xbroken-science) (removed the 'wow' because that didn't feel very... Hojo-esque)

|| Sephiroth - Answers ||Text Message Meme\Prompt || Status: accepting|| Secrets (Hojo)|| Verse:CrisisCore ||

@xbroken-science

Expectedly the response was quick. Painfully so.

It always was.

He stares at the screen, the message, angered by it's simplicity.

Three sleepless nights, and he, Midgar's shining hero, sat. Body tense, and feral, fearing a fourth. Or worse...the night terrors again--

The smoke, a monstrous thing wearing his own skin, dead serpantine eyes, that blurry mountain village in flames....and blood...Gaia, the blood--

The headaches worsened, the voice-like buzzings becoming more maddening in age, and Sephiroth's increasingly frequent bouts of insomnia.

As required, he kept Hojo informed, leaving out the small detail of the monstrous sleeping visions of this self he did not want to understand. Reluctantly to say the least. It wasn't the rumors and whispered mockery that disturbed the silver General. Let them joke about 'Hojo's pet project', 'Shinras spoiled poster child'.

Irritants, but nothing more than a bug bite really. No. There was something chilling...wrong, perhaps something kept secret about the professor... It was in his eyes. Hidden behind lust for knowledge, and layers of expertly carved masks. There was something likened to torment. Sephiroth found his own need to understand it disgusting, to the point his resentment grew stronger the more he had to meet those eyes. To ask these poorly answered questions.

He types the words 'You're hiding something' without knowing... He only knows he's done this when the screaming static in his skull grows dim, and the text upon the screen comes back into focus.

Deleting the words. The silver soldier crushes his phone... And suddenly...there is quiet, there is weight to the fibers in his muscles, enough to feel drained entirely.

So he buries it all. Hoping tonight sleep will find him some sense of peace.

[blackwinged-silversolace]

|| Nemain here, I'm slowly doing much better, buuuut until the RP brain kicks in...please enjoy this old-school seph aesthetic I made on YT years ago. >:}

[blackwinged-silversolace]

// Ooc // Sephiroth HeadCanon Development // How did my Muse come to be?// {Nemain Speaks... For better or...worse?//

Someone, (I can't remember specifically, who it was. Admittedly, at that time I had no idea how to respond, so I deleted the ask. If you're out there, I whole-heartedly apologize for my previous cowardice) 'NA' asked me a while back, something along the lines of this~~ "How do you form your HC's for Sephiroth given his ambiguity, and the several conflicting story installations?"

Sephiroth has been important to me for a long time. At first, it was infatuation that drew me to him, that ominously powerful/mind-game-entisiast/ beautifully evil antagonist, that antagonist that everybody loves to hate-or hates to love / member of the intelligently pretty asshole club...etc, etc...

But always, from my first time playing the OG and until now (having played all that came after several times), I felt bad for him... And it wasn't until I was a teen that I started to pick up on why, and it wasn't just because the guy was a good guy- gone bad... It was this weird omnipotent sadness, an ever present need to right the wrong of the world within every aspect of his character.

On some level, I think anyone who has gone through trauma can pick up on this.

Sephiroth is a very complicated individual ( as most of us know ). So, when forming headcannons, I have to acknowledge his in-game mannerisms / minimal backstory/ personality traits / vocal tones - or dialogue- used depending on the listener and subject matter/ etc... --within each game, then make sure that I don't let go of the core mystical integrity that was the OG SEPHIROTH. --

From there... presenting an image of what little we know for sure- then, finally adding on my own psychology research/ personal experience with trauma, to piece together a congruent idea of how his character would develope based on his childhood, the collateral damage his upbringing / pre-cc & early cc events would do to his mental health (so to speak). Then reverse, bend, and hew the process depending on the chemistry of my muse and yours.

[blackwinged-silversolace]

|| Nemain here. Still planning on returning, and hopefully soon. Regaining stability in my mental health has been a greater challenge than expected, so thank you all for your patience and concerns. Truly miss all of you<3

[blackwinged-silversolace]

|| OOC: Request || Headcannon/Mun Asks : (Nemain's - Sephiroth) || Status: Currently Open || All Are Invited

Hey fam, Nemain here. In celebration of a huge night of RP / fanart drafting, etc... I am opening up questions for me, and/or anything in regards to my ideas and thoughts on Sephiroth / my interpretation this far.

Seriously, I am just so happy to be back. It took A while for me to get all of my RL things back in order, and some major confidence/creativity building to return. ;w;

Currently I have 4 replies over half-way finished, 2 asks needing a final edit, and much more. But before I get back to work on what I have accumulated, I want to take a break to answer as much Q's as I can ~~for you, my fave community here on tmblr . So ask away! <3