Fic: Anons
Summary: Chris and Darren on Twitter
Warnings: Fluffy with a teeny tiny bit of snark
Words: ~ 350
For Carmen
“It’s Chris’ Fine Ass”
“No it’s not Darren! It’s Kurt’s Ass…no wait”
“Here she is! ‘Hummelsass!’ Now let’s see…”
“Wow she tweets a lot”
“Damn fine-‘ass’ icon, I must say”
“Geez Darren those shorts made you look ten years old. Now shush…”
“Who’s this squirrel lady who keeps talking to her?”
“Silllybrit? Yeah well ‘that’s’ an accurate description if ever I saw one! Ooh let’s look at her tumblr…’The Darren to ‘my Chris,’ man I may vomit”
“Chris it’s sweet! And she certainly has a thing for you…”
“Yeah yeah join the club honey. It’s almost time, let’s get back to Carmen”
“Shit”
“Shit”
“Holy…”
“Like how are people this mean? Your fans are assholes, honey”
“Hey ‘they’ aren’t my fuckin’ fans! But hey she has lots of people sticking up for her”
“Uh-huh, squirrel lady, Blainepuckerman…ooh she’s Italian says something Italian honey”
“Ti amo”
“…”
“Man your eyes almost rolled out of your fuckin’ head! Come here…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Yeah, uh, we need to get going, Adam will be going apeshit”
“…”
“Chris? You okay man?”
“Yeah yeah, let’s just….leave her an anon, before we go. We should leave her another anon”
“But what if she has that tracker thing? Remember last time you were convinced she’d show up at the house”
“Yes maybe I ‘did’ get a little paranoid but we should. If only because she reblogs your ass like all the time”
“Yeah and your dick man”
“…”
“Well who wouldn’t?”
“Quite”
“Watch the eye roll man, the fuckin’ eye roll….okay here we go…’Ask Me Anything’. What shall we say?
“Just something really positive…”
“Darren loves Chris’ ass”
“…”
“Chris loves Darren’s -”
“Shut up I’ve got it! Okay…
Hey Carmen =D We really like your blog! Love reading people’s wacky thoughts and opinions. You go girl! Xoxo
What do you think?”
“Awesome dude! Hey we should send her something like once a week”
“Yeah as long as you don’t slip up”
“Yeah you’re right. Because ‘=D’ and ‘xoxo’ doesn’t scream Chris Colfer at all! What…?”
“It’s Adam, shit, he’s come to get us”
“Shit lemme just add this to the favorites…there we go”
“See ya later Carmen”
“See ya later Chris’ Fine Ass”
