#blake e

[melodramatic-butterfly]

lucas is not here for love. he can try to 'waboom' his way somewhere else

Blake E, The Bachelorette

[flashbackhs2010]

Mrs. Perry: Do you guys do St. Patrick's Day in Germany? Like, where you pinch people?

Kat E: No.

Kaleb T: St. Patrick's Day is just an excuse to get drunk.

Blake E: And you guys get drunk every day, you don't need another excuse.

[flashbackhs2010]

Mrs. Perry: We've got to hurry, but Blake and Blake are playing a game of 'Throw It in His Mouth.'

Blake E: It's fun. You should play.

Mrs. Perry: I know, but not now.

[flashbackhs2010]

Mrs. Perry: i is an imaginary number. Blake E: All numbers are imaginary! I mean, where do you go and see numbers just running around in the wild?!

[melodramatic-butterfly]

I'm not a failed comedian!

Blake E, screaming at Lucas, The Bachelorette

[swoozi]

The Bachelorette Boys: Best and Worst

WORST

1. Blake E.

Not only does he have that fucked up haircut that alt-right motherfuckers have now, he said the most outrageous thing he has ever done is get engaged to a crazy girl.  FIRST OF ALL why are you getting engaged to a child, BLAKE E? SECOND I never trust a man who calls his ex-girlfriend crazy. Basically every man who calls his ex-crazy was probably an abusive monster or felt inconvenienced by a woman expressing feelings that were not adoration for him.  BLAKE YOU’RE TRASH

2. Brady

Brady is a demon! When asked about his least favorite things to do on a date he said paying for everything, saying good night, and getting an Uber that doesn’t speak English.  WOW WHAT A MONSTER. So Brady, you hate immigrants?  I thought the most outrageous thing you’ve ever done is move to Milan for two months.  I assume you are fluent in Italian since you would never live in a country without knowing the language.  RIGHT BRADY?  OH PROBABLY NOT BECAUSE YOU’RE HYPOCRITICAL DEMON SCUM.  also immigrants have no obligation to learn english the us is an imperialist nation that forces people out of their homes and into our country and then treats those people like shit

3. Bryce

Bryce has already gotten in trouble for his trash comments, but he’s a transphobic garbage demon. In a comment that has since been removed from ABC’s website Bryce said that his biggest fear on a date is that “the chick is actually a dude.” WOW BRYCE MY BIGGEST FEAR ON DATES IS GETTING RAPED AND MURDERED.  Transwomen are women.  Plenty of transwomen are fucking hot.  Men like you MURDER TRANSWOMEN SO FUCK YOU BRYCE YOU LOOK LIKE A CHIPMUNK IN AN UGLY WAY

4. Diggy

Diggy hates women having feelings.  One time he slept with a woman when she got a text that her brother died AND HE PRETENDED HE WAS SLEEPING.  WOW DIGGY YOU’RE GARBAGE. 

5. Jamey

Jamey doesn’t have female friends and he spells his name wrong.

6. Lucas

Not only did Lucas say his job was “Whaboom,” he also doesn’t know what transitioning is.  When asked who he would have lunch with he said, “Dead: Bruce Jenner, Alive: Caitlyn Jenner...would be an interesting conversation.” oh damn lucas you just don’t know do you?  When people transition they allow you to know their authentic selves.  They are not killing a person that you thought they were, they are just living their lives in a way that allows you to know them.  SO STOP CALLING HER BRUCE

BEST

1. Dean

Dean thinks marriage is an institutionalized sham that is derived from religious beliefs and looks like he should be in one direction.  DEAN COME KISS ME.  downside:  He said whenever a girl tries to bite him he has to stop everything to have a discussion, which is like good consent and shit but Dean I wanna bite your nipples

2. Kenny

Kenny’s favorite book is The New Jim Crow and his daughter is the person he loves most in the world.  I love you Kenny. 

3. Kyle

Kyle’s three worst attributes are my 3 favorite things about a person.  He believes trust is earned, has a general disdain for corrupt authority, and he’s blunt and outspoken.  SOUND’S GREAT KYLE.  But I think he doesn’t know what gluten is.

There were only three boys that I could put under “Best.”  If I had more time, there are certainly more boys I could put under worst, but these 6 were the shittiest from just reading their bios.  Most of the men seem painfully boring BUT THAT’S MEN

byeeeeeeeeee

[flashbackhs2010]

Mrs. Perry: Blake, don't snore in class! You have an end-of-course algebra test tomorrow. Sleep tonight.

Blake E: I'll sleep when I'm dead!...Or in math class.

[flashbackhs2010]

Kaleb T: (Looking at Mrs. Perry's email inbox) Hey, that email is from Blake's mom...and the subject is 'Blake.'

Blake E: I'm worried.

Jeremiah S: 'The boy just can't keep the markers away from his nose.'