"Okay... I get it.
New shrine, new me, stuff like that...
but what I don't get is-"
Yato trails off, shoulders shaking before he spins around, his long ponytail whipping to the side behind him with his movements and he points to the blonde,
"-WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE AND
WHY ARE YOU LAYING ON MY COUCH
AS IF YOU OWN IT?!"
A rare sight indeed...to see the great war god Bishamonten in such a vulnerable state. But...yet, it was one he’d rather not witness. Not again. She had always been strong, at least in his eyes...Brave, courageous, unwavering, resolve unbroken. It was what made her so dangerous.
...But this time--This time it wasn’t his fault.He wasn’t the one who caused those tears glistening in her violet hued eyes.
“Bishamon.”
Just a step forward--just one--was all he would take. In her fragile state, he didn’t want to push her. Rethinking, he withdrew his decision, resting his back against the wall. A plan should have been formulated before going forward with this.
“...I wanted to let you know...I’m sorry for everything that happened.”
‘She was betrayed by one of the shinki she trusted. If I were in her position...I’d be hurting, too. All of my shinki have quit on me, but...I don’t think any of them downright betrayed me like that.’
:: Ƹ̴Ӂ̴Ʒ :: – The concept of dating was not something the international fashion designer was known for doing. But after years and months of pushing and shoving, an acquaintance suggested a blind date. So here the man was, standing near the base of the Eiffel Tower. Tourists littered the streets and there was mush activity.
He kept an eye out for a women fitting the description their mutual gave him. Sitting on a bench, he sketched in a small pocket sized notebook with his pen. Eyes scanned everywhere, but he thought he saw her…causing him to close his notebook and stand up.
Id was sat down own the top of a bbrench, hidden in the middle of the leafs, he was looking down, curiously. He just couldn’t take his eyes off the woman with long blond hair, monted on... what was the name of that animal? A lion?
She was so pretty, he couldn’t deny that, but when he sniffed the air, the hong frowned a small bit. She didn’t smell like a human, though she did looked like one. Id’s tail swinged in agitation. He didn’t know what that smell, he had no idea what she could be.
The boy tried to move down, slowly, trying his best not to be noticed, sniffing as quietly as he could, but still trying to find some kind of human smell in her.
Ebisu. Ebisu was his target. Ebisu had never been overly attached to any certain person or God and as such went unnoticed for the most part. Because of this, he has been able to do basically anything that he wanted for several years, Such things were none of Kotetsu’s business, nor did he care.
Amaterasu had informed him of where Ebisu was, and he proceeded to stalk the man until he could finally find out where exactly he was. Once he located him, He let himself fall from the 10 story building, landing nearly silently on his feet. He let the man go unawares for a few moments until his shinki left him alone for a few moments before he plunged forward.
Kotetsu slammed his fist into the man’s face, lightning sparking from every cell of his fist as i burned the others skin.His fists slammed into his face over and over, lightning shattering the sky with every pummel until his arm was fiercely jerked, his body suddenly flying through the sky until his body slammed into a house, crashing through it and landing on the other side of said building.
Getting up from his pile of rubble, the man cracked his neck and clenched his fist, his green eyes glowering at the woman before him.
@blessedbisha started following you Chien Po made a "greetings" kind of bow to the woman, after he approached. "Hello there. Welcome to China. I'm Chien Po. Who are you?"
『 193 out of 200 followers...
Pfft, close enough! Hello, everyone!
Thank you all for following me. I'm grateful and... it's been many
years since I last made a Follow Forever or anything like this;
been years since I've trusted people enough to really bother,
so it was hard for me to do. There's going to be that bias list below,
the different people I know/have come to know/am in the process
of getting to know and that have changed me for the better I guess
you could say? So, to all of you, even if you aren't on the list,
thank you.
I’d like to put a warning here that it gets pretty personal below the cut,
so for a tl;dr of the names, they are as follows:
@guidcnce
@blessedbisha
@divineveena
@hafuriyuki
@calamitouscyan
and last but not least, @shinxki.
Not only are they extremely skilled as writers, they’re extremely wonderful people altogether.
Now...
If ya continue to read, it’s yer choice now.
It’s long. 』
As a child to early teen, I'd gone through multiple different types of abuse ranging from sexual to mental and while I'm not a coo-coo person going out to murder random people (lol) or anything like that, I do have mental illnesses and I've had physical disorder(s?) that I'm still going through/getting past thanks to my history.
Each day, I feel horrible waking, honestly.
Don't feel worth it.
I'm obnoxious.
I'm pushy.
I'm clingy.
I'm a creep.
Still getting to know myself as a person.
Still getting to understand emotions again.
Still getting to being normal in some way.
Still trying to get to the point of not blaming myself for any and everything bad that happens to me or my loved ones.
Those sorta things and of course the other usual stuff besides depression.
Anxiety.
Mild schizophrenia.
Extremely mild dissociative disorder.
aaaaand lastly paranoia.
I don’t think I’m too ‘out there’ with my mental issues and I think I’m sane enough to handle myself out in the world so yeah. My eating disorder isn’t here any longer but I do forget to eat by accident (woops!) so my anemia decides to go
and so, I, in return, go
“-dies-”
I came to the Noragami roleplaying fandom on October 22nd, 2016, but I wasn’t really... out there and not known to much of anyone. I didn’t post for long periods of time, too, and I just sorta accepted it cuz ya know? I was new. I met a few blogs here and there but low and behold that didn’t work out but I’m pretty used to having shit go down the drain for me. It wasn’t odd or anything for me and for a bit I’d though about deleting, remaking, and going to another fandom.
Fast-forward to late November-beginning December and I get a follow back by @guidcnce. “Whoa! Cool! A Kazuma! Holy shit a Noragami blog is following me!” I said, getting overly excited as I ate my Oreos that day-- “Lemme check out their blog!”
Lil’ ol’ me goes to see the blog, I’m happy, excited-- and my eyes fall on @calamitouscyan, @divineveena, and @hafuriyuki.
“....Shit.”
“Okay, so 1.) There’s another Yato and holy fuck, his blog is great, 2.) There’s a BISHAMON ( @divineveena ) but she talks to @calamitouscyan too (fuck me sideways) and 3.) A YUKINE! ( @hafuriyuki ) YAAAA- fuck he tALKS TO @calamitouscyan too?!?!? HOW FUCKING FAMOUS IS THIS DUDE?? Shit, they must’ve been here for such a long time, shit shit shit shit shit--”
Insert panicking and anxiety filled Cel here! -pops party streamers- WOOOOOOO! Yer not good enough!! Fuck yeah! You got people that’ve not only been here WAY longer than you but your blog LOOKS LIKE TRASH AND SO DO YOUR ICONS! NICE!
Yooooooooooou suuuuuuuck!
I suck it up, keep my emotions to myself and wing it with @guidcnce; I got new followers, I meet with OCs and canon rpers, I talk and plot with people, things goin’ great! Kazuma’s bitch ass is being one of the nicest people I’ve met and holy fuck if it wasn’t for them being so nice/lenient with me I wouldn’t-- WAIT. THAT’S NOT IT!
DID YOU KNOW MY YATO IS NOT A /NORMAL/ YATO??? NO?
...
why the fuck are you reading this then?
Go read my About and Rules, you fucker I swear to GOD I WILL FUCKING END YOUR LI-
....
..........
...moving on.
Kazuma had the NERVE to not ONLY reply to my starter with them in canon (well written canon might I add if you don’t follow them you might wanna do so cuz ya know they’re great and stuff and mhm good shit-- A-ANYWAYS-), but also responded to my character AS IF THEY WERE IN THE SAME VERSE AND WORLD AND SPEAKIN’ NORMALLY-- I just...
I WAS EMOTIONAL OKAY???? I STILL AM.
I STILL AM DAMN YOU.
...They didn’t just treat me right when we met and talked in private but they did so in rp and... I think because of them I started to open up more. Finally, I got in gear with my blog and icons and every thing in general for Tumblr. I made a brand new follow post and I was excited and--
....why are @divineveena, @calamitouscyan, and @hafuriyuki following me??? ........no.
no.
no.
NO.
NONONONONONONONONONO--
I’M NOT READY FOR THIS WHAT IF THEY THINK I’M SHIT WHAT IF THEY MOCK ME WHAT IF THEY TALK ABOUT ME THEY SEEM LIKE FRIENDS I’M NEW WHAT IF-
aaaaand here goes panicking Cel x2.
These people are following me, reblogging from me, SENDING ME ASKS--
I get invited to a group of other people and... I’m afraid. Skeptical and looking back at it, I still am sometimes but... that’s something for another day.
@calamitouscyan, @divineveena, and @shinxki are the main others there and it feels like going to a party in the Office and you know how everything is awkward? Yeah that.
There are a few others that I’m sad to say are no longer there but... I don’t hate anyone. Was raised differently than that.
A month goes by and I feel better to talk to others, a few events have happened, and it looks like I have a brand new roleplay partner! Not only did @calamitouscyan and @shinxki include me in something I never thought I’d do- having an OC shinki, a LIVING-- ...dead? ... breathing? ...
fuck it, whatever-- AN OC SHINKI THAT WE LITERALLY FIGHT TOGETHER, but they were supportive during the whole time. @hafuriyuki joined us soon and both of the shinki got along and just...
Everyone was together. An actual family and a group. @calamitouscyan turned out to be another ‘self’ (DICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE) ((don’t ask, they’ll get it)) in not just rp but /outside/ it too because of our cultural similarities and it moved to the point I showed a game I was playing and they joined. THEY JOINED AND WE DANCE TOGETHER IN GAME!
I’M NOT KIDDING, LOOK!
I have a friend to play with!
Outside of the game, @divineveena ruins my FUCKING life because we managed to make a relationship for Older!Yato and Bishamon, you wouldn’t be able to tell that they tried to kill each other at one point.
A BrOTP to such a point-- ugh it’s been years.
YEARS.
Trusting people has not been something I do and after YEARS of agony she managed to be my literal best friend and it makes me want to cry.
FUCK WE CAME UP WITH STUPID AS FUCK ‘CRINGE’ MEME ICONS. SHE HAS ONE OF BISHAMON. HERE’S YATO.
It’s AMAZING.
The amount of memes we make it fuckin’ stupid. I love it.
and now there’s another Bishamon- not giving me two of the same type of person but a Bishamon who’s tragic and heartbroken and has problems @divineveena but another who’s ALSO tragic but also healing and softer. @blessedbisha
She has tried her fucking hardest to bring up spirits and cheer up others and just do what she can for each of us- she’s like a mom. I’m Satan of the fandom so someone has to even out my evil deeds-
SERIOUSLY, though, when things are down and horrible, they keep moving.
It’s encouraging.
Both of them.
They both try so hard for everyone, even in the worst times.
Even though I know @divineveena more, I highly doubt @blessedbisha is less caring and both of them fuck up my life as Bishamons because...
ya know.
Bishamon likes beating me up and
ruining my day SO YEAH.
....then there’s @shinxki.
I believe I met her around two or three months ago, after meeting the other Yato and Bishamon.
.......
...............
-deep breath-
When I ‘like’ a friend or someone it’s not /that/ type of crush. Not lovey dovey so don’t go cringing away from this post just yet.
It’s like...
earlier I said I get clingy; I’ve been abandoned before, multiple times, whether it be for my sexual orientation, my race, my gender issues, my mental issues, my bluntness, or whatever the fuck else people have blown up on me and told me before they left, I’ve been dropped and left. Even recently, when I first started this blog, someone did it within a week because I left to give them space after we had a disagreement. It’s still affecting me, even now. I don’t...
I don’t do well with people hiding things or forgetting me or leaving me behind. I have the phobia about being forgotten or abandoned. It’s full blown and it isn’t pretty. I hate it, but when there’s someone who puts effort into me or something I like and at the same time they talk to me about their issues and don’t hide those things from me and trust me and want to actually bother with me and put up with me and it’s just
-rambling-
IT’S LIKE
“THIS IS MY FRIEND. THIS IS /THAT/ FRIEND. THIS IS THE MAJOR FRIEND. LOOK AT THEM. LOOK. DO YOU SEE THEM? THIS IS THE BAE OKAY LOOK.”
I guess what I’m saying is she’s close. She means a lot and I’m grateful that she
-puts up with me
-likes me as a friend
-is my shinki
-is my ship-friend
-is honest with me
-is blunt
-goes off on me
-snaps at me
-gets mad at me
-doesn’t put me on a pedestal
-doesn’t hide things from me
the list goes on but I guess you get the point.
......When I was either 11 or 12 or somewhere near that age, I made a promise to myself, not a nice one and the date of that promise is coming but/and for the first time in a long while, and I mean years again, I don’t know what to think about it and I’m not sure if things will end up going to that point.
To be fair, the only thing I really want now is a job and to go to school. I have a great mom and I actually have friends so... that’s all I want and...
...I think I’d be okay if I had that.
Maybe a therapist and/or a counselor again, too (lmao)...
but... I have these guys to thank for helping me get as far as I have. My life only seems like it’s a downward spiral but they all make me so happy and I owe a lot to them. I’m brash, harsh, blunt, depressed, anxious, and all around a not very pleasant person to be around and all of them try for me and each other. ...They all put themselves down or they’re unhappy in some way and it hurts, because they mean so much more than that and I don’t know what else to do for them.
I’m a person behind a computer screen so...
-shrugs-
A ‘thank you’ isn’t really enough. Not a simple one, anyways.
You each mean a lot to not only me but others and I want you and other people to know that. I’m not dead yet, so ya have to be doin’ something correct, right?
...
I’mma stop rambling and leave this here for you all, alright?