#blog thoughts

[tolliver-j-mortaelwyver]

Planning on making this the blog of Tolliver J. "Infawrith" Mortaelwyver (who will be distinctive from Tolliver D "Infawrith" Mortaelwyver of the fanfiction).

Tolliver J is less of an OC and more of an avatar. She is, for all intents and purposes, just me as a fictional divinity character, telling stories of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness (or unhappiness where she sees fit) as well as the tales of fictional obsessions born as a byproduct of her life's efforts and turmoils.

J Infawrith is, therefore, NOT an oc x canon character but rather the creator of D Infawrith and her story.

J, therefore, doesn't have a Sephiroth or a G'raha...though she will have a significant other who is, essentially, both characters wrapped into one (currently named Rasephirauth).

She and D Infawrith will share faces but not outfits and color schemes, so they won't be too confusing.

All of that said, I will be moving the more emotional ravings to my writing blog as it is essentially an electric journal for all writing things.

And that's currently where my headspace is on the future.

[luckyrunnybunny]

Trying to make an intro blog and it's fucking hell, I'm on a shitty laptop and I got no photoshop or decent photos, I think it's time to end it tbh

[willowmosby]

One of the joys of having a series of connected posts is seeing a bunch of notifications from one person as they go through and like every single post in that series.

Like , yes thank you I did spend way too much time thinking about this I'm glad you now also have to spend time thinking about it.

[waterfairybite]

Y’all should I crash out or should I crash out

[waterfairybite]

[smylenol]

Working, working, working away..

How to spend this Christmas?

Eee, the province wants its money back for when I tried to be a Pharmacy Technician. Could you imagine, me, a Pharmacy Tech, doling out antipsychs and opioids and amphetamines

I wanted to take counselling courses too, to be a sort of freelance therapist with intricate knowledge of drug interactions and elimination. I just thought that’d be cool, a Joker lookalike obsessib with wits to restrain the madness, mania, and drugs. Give fuckin’ Quinzel a run for her money.

I have about three pages of jokes, and once I get to 10, I’ll try standup late in life. Until then, it’s ply away at the trade of insanity and humour until my boredom is an afterthought.

Let’s see.. Madness, criminal insanity.. Bloodborne, Hellsing, The Joker, Moriarty, the design of the Divine Comedy…

[littlelife-letters]

Letters I Never Sent

Today, I felt a swirl of emotions that I can’t quite untangle. My mom mentioned the possibility of me working in the ministry, and it caught me completely off guard. It’s not something I had ever seriously considered, and the thought of it now feels both strange and heavy. I keep thinking about the responsibilities, the expectations, and how this opportunity might change everything even the fragile balance within my family.

At the same time, memories of old resentments surfaced. My relationship with my dad’s side of the family has always been complicated, tangled with misunderstandings and distance. It’s hard not to feel a lingering ache when I think about it, especially now, when life seems to be presenting me with choices I don’t feel ready to make.

I realize I have no one I truly feel I can confide in. The loneliness presses against me, and I try to convince myself that keeping these feelings inside is safer. But I know deep down that bottling them up won’t bring clarity or peace. Writing this down, even in fragments, feels like a small act of courage.

I want to take the time to understand what I truly want, beyond family expectations or obligations. I want to listen to myself carefully, to untangle the desires, fears, and doubts that swirl inside me. Perhaps in that quiet reflection, I can begin to find my own path and maybe, just maybe, some peace in the middle of all this uncertainty.