#bloodyraw

[survivedsarchived]

@bloodyraw: i didn't do much talking, before. i don't think i'm very good at it.

with anyone else, his first instinct would to be dismissive: if not outright stated, then with a roll of his eyes, his head inclined in agreement. silas isn't sure why it's different with trini - he chalks it up to her proximity with kim, primarily, motivated by the desire to not alienate a sibling by insulting her friends. what he doesn't want to admit is how much he likes trini - the others, too. it makes his voice uncharacteristically soft when he says, “talking's overrated.” which is easy to say when there's so few people willing to speak to you - but it's a sentiment silas stands by regardless: words aren't always necessary. as if to demonstrate, silas sits in silence for a beat, before lifting his head up from the knife he'd been sharpening, slicing it idly through the air before him as he continues, “so - i think you're fine. if that matters, or whatever.”

[manslaught-a]

only desperation could have possibly brought her here, standing at the doorstep of someone she'd done her best to avoid—but with her hands blistering with burns, arm soaked in blood from a wound on her shoulder, and too little energy to charmspeak her way into anywhere else, mikayla doesn't have much of a choice. nova had told her she could always come by if she needed, though she suspects it was an offer made out of obligation, an awkward attempt to be nice to her sister. mikayla had never intended to accept it, but she doesn't want to die, so this is the option she's left with.

when the door swings open, she's surprised to feel slight relief at the sight of her sister, instead of the dread she's used to feeling. mikayla doesn't wait for nova to speak, moving past her instead, hoping that if she keeps moving, her sister won't be able to tell how much she's trembling—even if she does, mikayla will only blame the adrenaline. “please tell me you have ambrosia.” that's the only reason she's here, because she's fresh out and her fists feel as though they're on fire; mikayla's no stranger to pain, but she doesn't have to like it, either, wanting it gone as soon as possible. “colchis bulls,” she breathes out in explanation before nova can ask, glancing at the burns on her knuckles. “three of them. it fucking burns.”

[hisownanchor]

@bloodyraw sent:  “i just want to be numb, i don’t want to feel anything.”  from cole.

❝     I GET THAT.    ❞   you know how it feels to just want to feel numb for once,  to just want to feel swallowed whole by something other than the endless ache that follows you.   you have grief carved into your ribs,   agony wrapped like vines around your lungs,   and tragedy beaten into your heart.   you have suffered so much you forget what it’s like to sleep soundly without your fists clenched,   without waking up with trembling hands and glowing red eyes.   

❝    but  ...   i think feeling too much is better than feeling nothing at all.   at least with feeling too much there’s bound to be some good.   there’s always some good.   if you feel nothing,   you won’t get the chance to feel the good stuff.   and the good things,   that’s what keeps me going.   without that,   i don’t know what the point of being alive would even be.   what’s the point of being alive if you’re just numbly existing?   that’s not being alive.  that’s just———  being.   ❞

[hisownanchor]

❝     I WAS    . . .   i was going to tell you.    ❞

@bloodyraw

[hisownanchor]

@bloodyraw sent:  “i pretend a lot of shit doesn’t get to me.”  from mikayla.

❝    YOU DON’T HAVE TO,   YOU KNOW.    ❞     your voice has it’s usual edge of softness,   but it’s different than how it is with everyone else.    she’s family,   like your mom,   like stiles.   she’s always been a part of your life,   even before all of this,   even if for a while she wasn’t around.   you care about her,    and you’re not scared to admit that,   you’re heart sits upon your sleeve beating endlessly,   even when it should stop,   even after it has stopped before.   ❝     not around me,   anyway.   i’m never going to judge you for feeling stuff too much,  or at all.   i promise.   i’ve had to do that a lot,   pretend stuff doesn’t hurt me when it really does,   and i know how hard it is sometimes.  so,  just——  know i’m a safe place,  okay?   you can let your defences down around me.   i’m never going to take advantage of that.    ❞

[moleslaw-blog]

@bloodyraw sent:  "it’s hideous." from mikayla.

❝     ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE RELATED TO SCOTT?    ❞     you’re not completely insulted,   you know you’re not the most fashionable guy but your style isn’t that bad,   right?    you can’t really go wrong with graphic t’s and plaid shirts.   they’re iconic.    ❝     'cause you guys are really nothing alike.   at all.     ❞

[moleslaw-blog]

@bloodyraw sent: "you don’t believe me."  from theo.

❝     NO SHIT,    SHERLOCK.    ❞     you don’t know why scott believes anything that comes out of this assholes mouth.   you don’t know how many times you have to be right before people actually fucking believe you when you say someone is up to something.    ❝    i haven’t believed a thing that’s come out of your mouth since you got here.    thought i made that pretty fucking clear.   ❞

[lupuscore]

YOU WISH YOU COULD STOP.    you wish you had a way to make all of your anxiety fade,   but it’s always there,   it’s always making you terrified,   making you anxious.   the fact you can’t hide that anxiety from the people around you only makes you more anxious,   at least around human’s your anxiety is hidden within your ever tapping foot and your always shaking hands.   it’s not something that reeks.   ❝    oh,   thanks.   that’s so comforting.   you should consider becoming a therapist.   you’ve got the real comforting warm vibe going for you.   ❞    as always:   sarcasm drips from your tongue like a shield.   it’s the only defence you have,   it’s the thing that protects you.    scott has fangs and claws,   all you have is your words and brain.   how pathetic,  right?

❝   it’s kind of hard to stop being anxious when every five minutes i’m thrown in to a very fucking stressful situation.   ❞     you know it’s your fault that you and scott are even involved with the supernatural,   it was your stupid curiosity that dragged scott into the woods that night,   and it’s his big heart and need to help that dragged you here.    

@bloodyraw.  continued from.