As i was thinking about gender it just accured to me that i didn't fully identify as female (asigned at birth). I still don't feel fully masculine either. Thinking of me as non-binary kind of felt liberating. Yet i'm not really sure what it implies. Calling me a woman doesn't feel wrong it just doesn't feel 100% true since i was in primary school. I'm kind of confused right now and i'm not sure about where to start exploring my gender identity.
first of all, realize that you’ll be fine. this is a big thing to jump into and i’m proud of you for at least getting this far. there are a lot of things to explore, and therefore a lot of places to start. its best if you go into exploring your gender with the mentality that no 1 way is right, and that your gender and experiences wont fit 100% with anyone else’s. any combination of presentation, labels, and words you choose will be unique to you, and society’s ‘rules’ about these are mundane and outdated, anyway.
being non-binary doesn’t imply anything other than you’re not a girl or a boy. you get to choose the rest. i’d suggest that you first start asking yourself what your gender does consist of (ex-mostly femininity, masculinity, neutrality, etc) and then look for words and labels that go with that. if you’re interested with experimenting with your appearance, try that! a good way to begin this would be to buy more “basic” pieces, like black jeans, white tees, plain clothes that don’t necessarily have a feminine/masculine undertone. then see if that gives you any ideas from there. you can try out different pronouns in the Pronoun Dressing Room and you can google lists of different names and see if any catch your interest? basically just explore what you want to explore, and don’t tweak anything that you’re currently comfortable with. you can check out our coming+out tag when you’re ready!
-jodie
