𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 BLOOMIC. leaving the server
characters included ; nightowl, quest, xyx, & toasty
tags ; heavy angst, sad ending, gender neutral reader
author’s note ; hey all! sorry to push back after hours and requests, but im in a mood felt an inclination to write this hc set. I hope you all can forgive me for putting off asks another night ;; but regardless, I hope you enjoy this set! angsty and sad >:)
NIGHTOWL —
— It started as a normal night. You were in a group call with a few server members— after such an awful work day, returning home and chatting with your friends always made you feel better. Usually, that is.
— After a few moments of comfortable silence among you, June, and Onion passed, you three were alerted to another person joining the call. June visibly perked up and smiled softly.
— “Hey Nightowl! What’s up?” She asked. He looked peeved, ignoring her completely before his eyes were on you— feeling his burning stare through the screen. You tensed for a moment, but stayed silent, allowing him the room to speak about whatever was on his mind.
— “(y/n). What happened? We were supposed to call tonight. You promised.” He insisted, a slight bitter tone present in his voice. You gave an apologetic smile and glanced away.
— “Sorry, Nightowl. Work wasn’t… great today. Onion and June offered to keep me company since you were offline at the time. I guess I lost track of time, I’m sorry.” You said softly.
— “Yeah! We were just trying to cheer them up! No harm!” June added on and Nightowl huffed a bit, clearly still irritated.
— “You couldn’t have pinged me or something? I would’ve been there if you had.” He muttered and Onion let out a long sigh.
— “Actually, I was the one that advised against them doing that. I knew you’d be busy studying, so I offered up support along with June in the meantime. It’s beneficial for everyone. You stay focused, they get support. It’s not like you can’t still call them, you know.” Onion mentioned and Nightowl rolled his eyes, now clearly pissed off.
— “Oh, so you’re making decisions for them now, Onion? That’s not the point. I want to be here for them and it’s like you were intentionally trying to keep me from them. If you were actually capable of liking someone, I’d almost suspect that you had a crush on them or something.” Nightowl seethed and June let out a soft gasp. You weren’t having any of this either. Onion was still your friend— he was only being considerate.
— “Hey! Nightowl, that was uncalled for. I agreed with his plan because I didn’t want to distract you either. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me. He was only trying to be considerate in his own way.” You insisted, exasperation clear in your tone. You were tired. Far too tired to play mediator, but you didn’t want them to fight.
— “Why is it fine when he’s trying to be considerate, when it’s clearly not something I want? I’m supposed to just go along with it because he’s being considerate? What about what I want?” Nightowl snapped and Onion let out a soft groan.
— “Nightowl we didn’t know what else to do. We weighed the options we had and picked one. Fighting about this is pointless.” Onion muttered. June nodded vigorously in agreement— clearly wanting to end any conflict here.
— “It’s not pointless!” Nightowl insisted and Onion deadpanned for a moment before replying.
— “It is pointless because it’s coming from a baseless jealousy. June and I are just trying to be good friends. You’re the one making it about you.” Onion stated simply. That statement seemed to set Nightowl off because soon after— the two engaged in a full on yelling match— back and forth and back and forth— your head hurt. You were overwhelmed and quickly left the call. This is the last thing you needed to deal with today— why was he so mad anyways? No one had done anything wrong.
— You broke completely upon seeing Onion and Nightowl begin to argue in chat— demanding you back in the call to settle some score that you didn’t care for. June’s attempts to diffuse the situation were fruitless, and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. Tears fell down your face— you’d just wanted comfort— support. Why had it devolved into a yelling match— fighting?
— Was it you? Perhaps you were the problem— after all, you always seemed to be caught between their yelling matches— every fight was always in your presence. Maybe you were the factor that caused so much disturbance? You could just… and they wouldn’t… right?
— You sent a brief apology to June, explaining that perhaps it would be better if you left. Nothing to fight over if you were gone, right? Before she could respond— begging you not to go— you left. Your screen blacked out and you curled up on your desk chair and let out a soft sigh of relief. Hopefully. Hopefully they wouldn’t be fighting anymore. Even if it hurt, it’d be worth it for them.
— June’s eyes widened upon seeing you leave. Nightowl and Onion were still fighting— had they even noticed? Did they even care? June felt a rare upset bubble within her and she rejoined the call.
— “Shut up! Please! (y/n) left the server! They left— and you two are still making this about yourselves! We were supposed to help them for once and it turned into them mediating our problems! Again! Now what..? They’ll never find the server again— they’re gone!” June snapped and the two fell silent. June let a few tears slip from her eyes before she shook her head, hanging up soon after.
— Onion grimaced— feeling his own regrets and looking at Nightowl apologetically before hanging up as well. Nightowl sat alone in the call before scanning back in the logs— searching— your profile was— you were really—
— He felt his chest tighten as he let out a quiet sob. Had he seriously let his own jealousy get the best of him? You’d merely forgotten and he mistook it completely— Onion wasn’t even being unreasonable for once and he mistook the entire situation. He assumed that you chose Onion over him, yet in reality, June had been there, too. They’d just been there while Nightowl was offline and he’d allowed himself to get so possessive that he— he completely slipped up. You always helped them and for once, you had been in need. And what did he do?
— He made it about his own emotions— about himself instead of supporting you when you clearly needed it. And now? Now it didn’t even matter because you were gone.
— The next morning came, and you were still gone. No more familiar icon— the username that always made his heart warm when he saw you online— you were actually gone. He got shit from the rest of the server, rightfully so, but it no longer mattered.
— You were gone— and he knew that deep down, he’d never be able to find you again. He’d never be able to tell you that he loved and cared about you deeply— he could only sit and wonder what could’ve been if he hadn’t been so foolish.
QUEST —
— Life on the server had been less than enjoyable for you as of recent— how could it be when your ex was there? You understood fully that he was to be given a chance, just like everyone else— but you couldn’t just forget what he did to you.
— He acted docile in server, utilizing the same charm that made you fall for him so many years ago— but you knew what he was. You knew who he was behind all of that talk. It drained you. You were hardly able to enjoy Blooming Panic, hardly able to participate in group calls— because you worried. Would you accidentally let some detail slip that gave away where you were? If he saw you in call, would he be able to find out where you were from the backdrop alone?
— You didn’t feel safe.
— But he had done nothing wrong in the server. So banning him would be unreasonable. But he was getting along with your other friends— and you could hardly handle it. The one person who hadn’t become friendly with him was Quest. The two hardly interacted, save for the occasional need for Quest to direct conversation into the proper channels. He’d told you as much in your private channel. He couldn’t do anything even if he wanted to. As much as he wanted to kick him for what he did to you— he had to remain impartial.
— But what really sold it for you was when your friends in the server tried to tell you— convince you that he’d changed. Just because they hadn’t experienced the ugliest sides of your ex. They hadn’t seen his tendency to stalk— the hurtful messages— the things you endured. You were beyond tired by then. You appeared in the server less and less, interacted less, talked less— the only people who went out of their way to talk ti you were Quest, Lady and Two. They never tried to convince you otherwise about your ex. They always validated your experiences. But it was hardly enough.
— You were sat in a group call with Two, Lady and Quest. It was facilitated through a private voice channel— one that the rest of the server didn’t have access to. You’d called them there to talk. You long made your decision to leave the server. You needed to get away from your ex— you couldn’t bear to worry daily about your safety, wondering if the censors were enough to keep him from finding you. Living in constant paranoia? It was awful. You couldn’t bear it anymore.
— “Hey (y/n)— why’d you call us all here?” Two asked with a light air of curiosity. You’d miss it. Lady hummed in the background.
— “Yeah, did something happen? Do we need to fight anyone?” She asked with a small, protective smirk. She never hesitated to protect you the moment your ex went online. Even if he tried with his nice guy act— she’d always make an excuse for you. You couldn’t thank her enough.
— “Please, no fighting or violence. You know I can’t condone that.” Quest said with a light laugh. Leaving him would hurt the most. You loved him. You always had. You wanted to be with him— but you couldn’t. You have long since accepted that. The three laughed a bit before falling silent, allowing you space to talk.
— “I’m leaving the server tonight. And before you argue with me— I just. I can’t. Living in fear every day that the censor won’t be enough to keep him from finding me— I can’t live like this. It’s miserable. You three have always been supportive. You’ve always been on my side— so I just. Figured I’d tell you before I disappeared.” You expressed with a soft, yet sad smile. Their faces dropped.
— “What? No— no you can’t leave! Who else is gonna listen to my music and my ramblings?” Two asked, his voice cracking lightly. It broke your heart.
— “We can figure something out! Right, Quest? We can do something— anything. We won’t let this happen. If you leave, we’ll never see you again.” Lady expressed quietly. Quest felt his heart ache— he knew the situation. He knew why you chose this. He felt powerless— wanting so badly to be biased and just kick the other— but he couldn’t judge. Even if he had quite the opinion, he couldn’t express it— he was in no place to do so.
— “I… I can’t kick him. Are you sure this is what you want…? We can figure out another solution, angel. Please— if the server lost you, it’d never be the same.” Quest insisted. You smiled before shaking your head.
— “As long as he’s here, I don’t feel safe. I’m not asking you to take a bias for me, Quest. I’m just asking for understanding. You three mean a lot to me. Even when I withdrew, you still sought my company. It… it means a lot. Thank you. For everything.” You said softly. Before the three could further protest, you hung up and left. Your name disappeared from the side bar and Quest felt his heart shatter. He hadn’t even— he didn’t even get the chance to tell you.
— Before he could even react, he was being pinged in the main channel— met with a string of nasty comments from your ex following your exit from the server. It angered him to read them— angered him that he was only showing his true colors after you’d left. Now there was a reason to kick him and he did— not even sparing him a chance to say a word. Only now did the rest of the server notice your absence— realizing that you were right. Far too late for such a thing, Quest thought.
— He held his head in his hands. It didn’t matter now. He lost you. Who knew if you’d ever find the server again— if you’d ever return with the risk that your ex would still be there. Why couldn’t he have just kicked him? Take the backlash— but keep you. He knew though. He knew you’d never allow him to do such a thing. But he wished he’d gone against his judgment— made that special exception for you.
— Because you were special. And losing you was a heavy pain he’d feel every day he logged on. Seeing your name mentioned in conversation, but no longer with them— it felt awful. Being impartial wasn’t worth losing you. Nothing was worth losing you. And the entire server felt the pain of losing that spark that you brought.
XYX —
— Xyx sighed as he sat alone on call, waiting for you once more. It had been a few days since you were last online. No one knew why you’d been absent for so long— but he was repeatedly assured by the others that you’d return. You had to, right? He found himself like this every night— sitting alone in a call, waiting for you to come back. Had he done something— said something— had he become too much?
— He pushed the thoughts away, feeling his heart skip a beat when he noticed you online— you were actually here. He was going to ask you to call, but you typed in the general chat, simply asking if Nightowl was around. Nightowl? When had you two become so close? He felt a slight gnaw of jealousy, but he didn’t want to make any assumptions. Xyx replied simply, stating that Nightowl had gone offline to study. You responded with an “Oh.” and he felt his chest tighten. He couldn’t lose the chance to hear your voice again—
— He invited you to call with him. Silence for a few moments before you agreed and he smiled to himself. Finally. He waited patiently and soon enough you joined the call, but you looked… different. Tired. You had prominent bags under your eyes— the lively sparkle in your eyes was gone. What had happened?
— “Doll, are you alright?” He asked in a gentle tone. You hummed and forced a small smile before shaking your head.
— “Not really. I’ve been staying up every night with Nightowl. He’s been helping me figure something out. I’ve been mulling over my decision, but I made one. I wanted to tell him before I told everyone else.” You explained, letting out a soft sigh. Xyx gave you a concerned look. This didn’t sound good. He had an awful feeling in the pit of his stomach— what decision had you made? He wanted to try being lighthearted— to cheer you up.
— “Oh? Really? What situation is it that you’ve concluded Nightowl of all people to be the most suitable to give you advice?” He joked lightly and you rolled your eyes.
— “Being the butt of everyone’s joke, funnily enough.” You muttered and Xyx opened his mouth to respond, but fell silent. You averted your gaze away and sighed.
— “Look, I’m sorry. I’m just not in a great mood. I’m leaving the server tonight, though. I’m far too tired at this point. I’m tired of being the butt of the joke. It’s awful. It reminds me of… how I used to be treated. And I deserve better than that.” You stated simply and Xyx’s eyes widened— leaving? You couldn’t leave—
— “Wait— wait! Isn’t there any other solution? Can’t you just ask everyone to stop? Leaving— if you leave you’ll never be able to come back. You’ll lose all of us.” Xyx insisted and you let out a small laugh, shaking your head.
— “Xyx. I’ve tried repeatedly for weeks to tell everyone to stop. None of you ever listened. Nightowl was the only one who bothered taking me seriously because he gets it. He used to be in my position. For some reason, though. They stopped when he asked, but I guess since I’m one of the other server trolls, I must be joking, right? I have to be fine with it. I must be.” You explained with a bitter tone. He felt his heart drop— and suddenly he remembered.
— All of the comments. The ‘haha hey can we not joke about that?’ and ‘lol but not that funny tbh’ and ‘why am i still being made fun of’ and ‘pls stop already’ No one had listened. Everyone ignored it— no matter what you said. He was part of the problem. He bit his lip, meeting your gaze.
— “I’m sorry, (y/n). I didn’t realize—“ He was cut off.
— “No one did, Xyx. No one realized. I thought you would get it, you know? You used to be the same. No one took you seriously because you were always joking around. But. You didn’t. And that hurt, y’know? No use crying over it now, though. I made my decision, already. I’m leaving tonight. I don’t… I don’t want to keep acting like I’m fine when I’m miserable. I wish I wasn’t like this. I wish all of the comments didn’t get to me— but they do. They’re hurtful. And I’m over it.” You explained and shook your head.
— Xyx didn’t know what to say. What could he do to make you stay? What could he do? He wanted to tell you— tell you how he felt and maybe then you’d hear him— but before he could, Nightowl came online and you gave him a soft smile.
— “Goodbye, Xyx. Thank you for everything.” You said softly before hanging up, presumably to tell Nightowl of your decision. He slumped back in his chair. It was too late now. Too late to tell you just how much he—
— Then he saw the notification. You’d left the server. Your parting words were in the general chat. He hated it because even in your parting message— you blamed yourself for not being able to handle it. Blamed yourself when it was their fault for not taking you seriously. The server censors had just lifted, they’d just eased up, and he hadn’t even had the chance to ask for your number— your name— anything so he could find you and be with you.
— You cared for him. You took him seriously when no one else did. Maybe, if he’d shown you that same treatment back— you’d have stayed. He could’ve advocated for you— stopped the jokes before they became too mean— but he couldn’t take it back. And that hurt more than anything.
— The real cherry on top, though, was when he learned that you’d given Nightowl your number after your call with Xyx. That you didn’t see Xyx as someone worth keeping in touch with. And honestly? He couldn’t blame you.
— You’d been such a good friend to him. And he completely disregarded you when you had needed him the most. And now you were gone. And there was nothing he could do to change that.
NAKEDTOASTER —
— Toasty smiled softly as he saw you come online. You’d been in the server less and less— having to focus on your studies for your graduate program as opposed to messaging in the server, but you’d taken your exams, finished your work and were now about to graduate. At least, that’s what he assumed. You’d gotten your test results about a week ago, and hadn’t been online since. Perhaps you were celebrating? Preparing for the next step? He had no idea— but he missed you. So he was excited to be able to talk to you again after so long.
— He sat eagerly on call, typing a message to you the moment you went online, asking if you could chat. You agreed, and soon enough, you joined the call and Toasty could immediately tell something was wrong. You looked tired, a ring of red around your eyes— disheveled and like you hadn’t slept in days.
— “Hey, woah, are you okay? What’s wrong?” He asked gently and you forced a small smile, but it quickly went away as you let out a frustrated sigh.
— “I failed. I’m not graduating this year. All of this hard work and— and it still wasn’t enough. I didn’t study enough, Toasty. I really messed up.” You muttered and held your head in your hands. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug you through the screen— to be there in person and assure you that it’d be okay. But the censors… even if he wanted to, he couldn’t be with you in person. It was just a distant daydream, one that he thought about all the time.
— “H-Hey! I mean, I’m sure there’s next year, right? You can try again and I’m sure you’ll be able to manage it. I believe in you.” He insisted and you gave a soft, grateful smile.
— “I appreciate it… but I won’t be around to update you. I’m leaving the server. I think… I think I’ve let myself become too distracted with being in here constantly. Not getting proper sleep, not focusing on my schoolwork— I think that’s the problem. I worked hard, but I joined the server when hard work mattered the most. I started slacking at the worst time, and I can’t afford to fail again. I’m sorry, Toasty. I really will miss you all, but if I fail again… I don’t know what I’ll do.” You explained. Toasty felt his breath get caught in his throat— he wanted to tell you that he loved you so much, plead for you to stay— but he… couldn’t. Your reasoning was justified. Eliminate distractions so you could focus on passing next semester.
— He knew it was your decision. You wouldn’t waver. If it made you happy in the long term— even if he couldn’t be by your side to witness it— he couldn’t bring himself to be mad or upset with you. You’d be happy, right? Even if he wasn’t there to share it with you. Toasty bit his lip, frown ever present on his face as he sighed.
— “If… if you think that’s for the best then… who am I to stop you? I’ll miss you— I’ll miss you so much. But I want you to succeed because I know that’ll make you happy.” He explained and you hummed and nodded, a relieved expression on your face that he wouldn’t be fighting you. You paused for a moment.
— “Hey, can I tell you something before I go, though?” You questioned and he glanced at you, giving a questioning look and you met his eyes for a moment.
— “I just wanted to say that I… I lo— ah… you know what..? It’s nothing. I’ll miss you, too, Toasty. You especially. But I’ll miss everyone else too. I know I’ll never be able to find you all again, but maybe if I get lucky, I’ll find my way back here.” You commented, biting your tongue. It’d be cruel to tell him now how you felt. Not when you were so adamant on leaving. But maybe, just maybe— you wanted him to fight to keep you here. You pushed the thought away, though. Leaving was for the better, you convinced yourself.
— Toasty was visibly concerned that you held back your comment, but let out a soft sigh, not wanting to push the issue. He gave you a sad smile, soon looking away.
— “I guess… this is goodbye, then?” He whispered and you hesitated before nodding.
— “Goodbye, Toasty. Thank you for everything.” You said softly and hung up. You sent a message in the general chat before leaving the server— no one to see you again.
— Toasty’s heart ached— but it only truly settled just how finalized everything was when your name was no longer in that side bar— no longer in your shared private channel. Then, he learned through Xyx that the feeling he held on to— the love that he hadn’t wanted to admit in that final call— was mutual.
— And now he wished that he’d fought to convince you to stay in the server— stay with him. Because now you were gone.
— And you were never coming back.
