Thanks for the reads, interest, and love! All of it!! Thanks to the tripod, @bleedinglove4h & @dirtystyles it would not happen without you. or would be shit and barely English, and definitely lack Japanese!
And a big special thanks for Harry, for proving me psychic at times, for giving me so much fodder, and for being a god damn Greek Muse!
"God dammit!" Ada seethed. She wanted to scream, but she had been making nice with Harry on set, and when she did that, she was able to get a few decent takes out of him.
Fine, they were more than decent. They were magic.
But, a few decent takes out of so many, and only one to two stellar ones was making her so frustrated she wanted to scream. It was there, it, whatever that was but it was buried under foot thick nerves, that got thicker if she was clearly frustrated. So she whispered it while she watched him look like he'd never been in love in his life.
She'd listened to his album, once, when she agreed to do the movie, so she knew him a little better.
And a couple more times, not so begrudgingly, because she liked it.
If she went by that, he had been in love. Ada supposed she should ask him, but all of her niceties were expended on set with him. That seemed like and after hours question. When he tried to talk to her after hours, she was short with him, and left no quarter for small talk. He was too nice.
So nice, he was exhausting her. He was so good when he was good, but it took very broad shoulders on her part to get him there.
Harry was really great before the camera turned on, everyday. When they first met for the day. He was enthusiastic and bright. His ideas were good. Those first few minutes were a glimmer of an oasis on the horizon. Somewhere midway through the conversation he would drift off, ah, a mirage then, again. The he would be that balloon slowly floating away until she found some way to grab his string. She was beginning to think he may need Ritalin. She may have to look up her roommate from college, Ada thought she lived here. Katie, Yeah, Katie usually had a hook up.
He needed something, or she needed a helper. She felt a little like elvis' colonel, able to pull the performance out of this modern day musical king. Maybe with a prescription. That was wrong, even to think, and she couldn't. She was able get the goods out of him without director's little helpers. But it was such a chore.
He would talk well, then get a little drifty. She'd have to cut take after take, and he'd get more and more insecure. She'd watched him on stage, and before takes. He wasn't insecure, hell sometimes he was cocky, she could use some of that. The shades of it she saw in interviews. Maybe it was the hair cut? The longer his hair the bigger his dick energy?
Well, his hair wasn't growing fast enough!
"Go again! Keep rolling!" Ada felt like there was no time to stop. They had a section of Ueno Park to themselves, stunningly. Almost as amazing as the blossoming surroundings.
The city government had been more than generous, they had gotten access to so many open spaces. Her dream spaces. Well, she supposed it was Harry's or the scriptwriter's dreams. But they were magic. And getting to film in them was a gift. Like all gifts though, this pass had limitations. The city wasn't willing to shut down entirely for whole days. So they got specific times and areas to use for filming.
The areas were still open to the public in a limited manner. Ada loved that, and the curious locals looked good on film. The park looked dreamy to her eyes and on the dailies, and the people added to it. Sakura season was nearing its end, but the blossoms were hearty this year and were full in most spots, but still dropping like snow. Heavy and magic, casting pink light on the already beautiful setting.
It was a perfect set up.
Ada needed Harry to twirl in them in wonder. It wasn't in the script, but it was on her plan now. Because of him. He needed to twirl, just as he had been when they arrived.
She wasn't even sure he knew she was watching. His wardrobe was wondrous, and the setting, perfect, and she had no nerves at all for a few minutes. The unscripted moment was better than the plan. Today was gonna be different.
Ada was sure this was a turning point. Today was the day she got more that Harry's magic, but singular moments.
Maybe she should throw the boy a bone and sit down for the drinks he inquired about several times. If he did better, her irritation would go away enough for it. She liked him, it might help. Maybe they just needed to establish a better rapport. She'd turned him down several times. She was just recovering from her killer jet lag and, well, he was proving to be a pain in the ass. She didn't want to see him when she didn't have to.
But that was before, now she was even sadder to be wrong after all that hope, maybe even a bath in her future when they got home early. Instead.
Today looked like another long one, and she wasn't sure if she had enough novacaine to inject him with, or caffeine for herself. And she knew she didn't have enough time.
He'd continued his batting average. Either Harry whiffed at air, hit nothing, or knocked it out of the park.
She was hoping he'd be first time lucky earlier, when things had been set up and he'd walked out of his trailer, in the street clothes Akio had styled for Henry at the Harajuku shop. Nothing crazy or too bright. It was perfect actually, he was rockabillied out. A poof of hair in front, white y shirt - she refused to call them wife beaters, a leather jacket cocked off his shoulders- a large black belt and black straight pants with a high cuff, combat boots. He'd had a comb in his hand and Ada dug it. She'd have to high five wardrobe. He was a daydream. And it looked like it fit. Harry Presley indeed.
She watched him walk into set and stand in the middle of a blossom fall. His cheeks had lifted and his eyes shone. Big coin spot dimples daring anybody to try their pin ball luck. He looked pretty dreamy. If he could keep that up, there'd be no trouble believing Akio would fall, maybe even try for a kiss, but be interrupted and have to make a run for it just as the scene called for.
"Just like that, Harry." She'd walked up to him. "That's exactly how you should look in this scene. It's pretty irresistible." She'd smiled at him, all the hope and good feelings of her early morning workout and real, delicious matcha running through her veins. It wasn't even too cold for such an early morning. The scene was perfect. He looked perfect, like a hip Tokyo boy dressed him up, and the weather even cooperated.
His confidence looked high as well, along with the color in his cheeks.
"Yeah, this is pretty magic." He said and looked around and a petal fell upon his cheekbone. They pressed against his skin when he looked up, soft, but sharp enough to hold the side of the petal.
Ada wished she was already rolling, and she doubted the petal would stay. They needed another flower to float on down and stick to his cheeks. It wouldn't.
But they could create movie magic.
How'd you do that, she had asked her first mentor?
Well, you cheated of course. She'd have makeup use a trick.
Ada reached up to brush the petal off and Harry turned his cheek at the same time. His cheek was warm and smooth, like her lakebed in the summer. She awkwardly realized that she was basically cupping his face for a long moment, and was about to yank her hand away when he blinked his eyes slowly closed and left them gentle there. She nearly ran her thumb over the sharp cheekbone.
"Makeup!" She flinched her hand off of him and went back to her seat when she realized what she was doing.
She had such a good feeling about this morning, but after their flower moment, he was a mess. He almost fell in the pond when he and Yuki decided to play around in the scene and walk on the railings like overgrown kids. It could have worked. She let them because she was desperate, they had about two minutes of usable stuff for their time.
What happened? He was ready to go just a little while ago. She was sure of it.
Harry was shaking. He had been for a while. Yuki was looking at him like he was crazy. "You ok Hari?"
"Yeah, Yeah, man, maybe my blood sugar is low?" So he'd had a pressed juice. This was after his near fall. A place to put clumsy blame. It helped a little. Mostly, it gave him a chance to get himself together. He was a little better when they started rolling, but he was off again. He was unbelievably frustrated. He'd had a good feeling about today. That he would "act good" like Jeffrey suggested. But he knew he was not doing his best, right now. Dunkirk had not been like this. But it was so physically taxing and mostly just a matter of reacting to the things around him.
And he was not the focus, dammit. That was wonderful, actually. To have the focus broadened, shared. Truly divided. Even in the band, he felt zoomed in on. Sometimes like a bug pinned down under a microscope. Dunkirk had given him a break.
So that when he was ready to be in the spotlight again, he felt ready, like it was on his terms.
Harry had decided these terms too. He wanted this movie. He was the force behind it. But now he felt like he was under the microscope again.
He was squirming especially because of Ada. He'd been happy to see her loose and open when she'd come onto set. The smudges under her eyes, the ones that worried him so, were lighter, almost gone. He could feel the dimples from that. And he'd seen hers! He'd only caught those in pictures before.
Plus, he was so excited about this day. He had never gotten to be in Tokyo, in Japan, during cherry blossom season.
His breath caught when he walked from his trailer to the bridge. Harry had given himself a talking to, and had agreed with himself that he was gonna loosen up, and he'd only ask Ada to have a drink with him one more time.
Just once more, he wanted to talk to her. He was sure he could charm her then. If he could just calm down. Since the shoes hadn't worked, he could finally give her a satisfactory apology. Which was probably just for him at this point, he needed to purge. Also, he wasn't sure she knew how sorry he was, how embarrassed. It was messing him up, his performance up. That the lack of resolution was affecting him.
She was affecting him. The way he felt when he talked to her, looked at her. It wasn't like a lightening strike, it was like......ichariba chode, she felt like home. But more, not just like his mom with hot tea, but those moments he'd had so rarely, with Grimmy and Camille a time or two. When he would come home and they'd be waiting for him, their arms outstretched with warm kisses, warm food, hot embraces, lazy lie ins.
Like a lover, a family of his own creation. He had a crush before he met her. But it was more now. Growing. He loved watching her on set. She was the boss, in such a way that she didn't need to be bossy. But she could be. God it was sexy.
Another thing he couldn't ignore. He was gonna have to. It was not mutual. That was jarring.
And distracting. He was so distracted today, he'd been on it, had absolute confidence that today he was turning a corner. All the elements had combined to make a great day. How could do it, and her confidence at the beginning of the day felt like closure. He didn't know what happened.
That was a lie.
Truth was, he knew exactly what was going on. Ada had touched him, again. And every time she did his stomach flipped like when Gemma forced him to go on the zipper at a carnival when he was eight.
He never learned to like rollercoasters.
Ada made him feel like he was upside down and inside out when she touched his shoulder while she gave him a talking-to. He could see she was really frustrated with him, but she was gentle and he wanted to please her.
And he should have known he was a bit fucked when she touched his cheek. He'd maybe never felt that good, maybe when Irving first told him he could be a legend. That was a similar feeling, but he didn't want to fall into Irving. Or kiss him.
That was when he knew he would need an intervention. Like every day. But he wasn't sure it could be her, she was definitely the problem today. If he was honest, like most other days. Though she intervened then too. She was the problem and the cure.
She was intervening earlier and earlier. He wasn't sure if she had figured out that she could appeal to his need to impress her and he would perform. Harry hated that he required so much work, he was supposed to be the leader on the film. He wanted to be the leader on set, be an example. But he seemed to require handholding.
"Cut!" Ada yelled while he was on his penitent Road, whipping away at himself mentally. Shit, head in the game Styles.
"You ok, Harry? Yuki?" They both nodded. "How can we make this better, get this shot before the city Insists we get the hell off of this bridge for the day?"
"What if Harry makes the move, maybe it's the set up he's uncomfortable with? Me kissing him?"
"I'm not uncomfortable!" Harry exclaimed while Ada was saying "I don't think he's uncomfortable with the affection, or dynamic."
Yuki looked confused. Harry laughed. "Mate, I'd hold your hand all day, on camera," he pointed to the fans nearby. "Don't really care about that so much, cats nearly out of the bag. I'm just...."
"Distracted." Ada filled in, She was good at reading him. Harry loved that. When he didn't have to talk. That would be so nice to come home to. Stop it! Those thoughts were not helping.
"Yeah!" Harry pinched his lip between his fingers, he did it often, it had been known, because it centered him. It had caught him so off guard, effected him so, when Ada touched his cheek, took him out of this scene of supposed natural affection. He looked at her and his cheek tingled. His eyes fell closed on the two hours old memory, still. He touched his cheek and opened his eyes and looked at Ada. A spark fired then and they talked over each again.
"You should touch his face!" Ada said.
"You should take a blossom off my face!" Harry basically yelled into Ada's ear.
She rubbed it for a second, but his "Sorry" was said on the sharp corners of his smile.
And Ada was the car, her lips curved like a Porsche on their collaboration. They could corner like they were on rails right now.
"Yuki-" She beckoned him over, and waved her hand at wardrobe. To the girl with the palettes in hand she said, "can you make his face sticky, so if I drop these," she pointed to the baby pink petals above, "they'll stick?"
"Yeah, I can use gloss, light will catch on it too!" The girl was thinking out loud,. "I'm afraid it will shine. Look out for that. Hold on." She disappeared and Ada turned to a waiting Yuki.
"So, I want you to come up behind him, and I'll have petals dropped on him." Ada pointed at her star, Harry was nodding too. "When he turns, it should look pretty dreamy, you should look like it is anyway. Like really compelling. Smitten, do you know this word?"
Yuki was laughing, and Ada felt like there was a conversation going on she didn't know about. Both boys were looking at her, Yuki back and forth between her and Harry.
"Yeah, I know what look you want. I can imagine it." He looked at Harry and cracked up. "We have a way to say - koi no yokan - a future at love, a vision." He looked at Harry, brow high. Like Harry knew what he was talking about. Could explain it.
Ada focused on him too, like he had an example in he and Ada's common language for it.
Harry's attention refocused on his costar, tore I
His eyes off ada. "I don't know. I'm just learning Japanese. Trying." He supposed he felt that's little when he fell into Ada's cleavage, before he puked on her. After too he supposed. It just felt more hopeful before. He guessed he knew smitten, and a premonition of love.
"Oh, I think you know." And Yuki was laughing again. Ada was excited, and she was engaged, with her actors, but they were still pressed for time. And they needed this shot. She knew it was gonna be good, could feel the energy.
"You smitten, Harry?" She laughed at him, and Harry could feel his eyes get really big, but her attention shifted and she was walking back to her chair.
"Ok, let's do it! Roll tape!" She watched the make up girl come back to wipe Harry's cheek, apply lip gloss, and somebody throw flower petals at his face, which seemed both highly fitting and like something he was used to.
He barely blinked.
And then, the shot was perfect, they got it so easily.
"Yuki, almost kiss him! Closer!" Ada shouted, that wasn't in the script, but it felt perfect. Harry was lookin at her over his partner's shoulder and she could feel him lean in to Akio's space. Like a magnet. Magnetic, wow.
It only took one take, it was perfect. Ada jumped out of her chair and was running to start tearing down, so they could do some make up shots. Her excitement made Harry smile. Good, he had finally done something right.
"You could tell her." Yuki said over his shoulder.
Harry turned back to him. "Tell who what?" He missed that train when it pulled out of the thought station.
"The lady director, Hari!" He raised his eyebrows in a gesture Harry had never seen a Japanese person make.
"Ada? Tell her what?"
"Tell her you like her!"
"What do you mean? What's not to like? Course I like her, she's so talented, and she's our boss."Harry felt naked in the middle of Ueno Park.
"You like her. Koi no yokan. You look like Akio looks at Henry with the petal on his cheek - like you want to be the petal."
"I don't." Harry shook his head. Was he that obvious? What a mess, he knew she barely tolerated him. Never took him up on his invitations. To dinner, or tea, or the Gucci store. "I don't!" He protested too much. He shook his head like he had water in his ears, this was more uncomfortable than the cold Atlantic.
"Ok, ok, you don't like her. But you could invite her to the thing tonight?"
Harry just shook his head. It would ruin it. He did well in that scene, finally, surprised her. She had been happy. And he was so pleased that the rest of the day went well. He wasn't going to invite her to the bar where Konichi's band was playing.
Only because she had blown off all his other invitations.
But she was smiling so much at the end of the day, when he had accidentally on purpose passed her, he couldn't help it.
"Hey, Ada, if you have recovered from your jet lag and well, everything, we're all going to see my friend's band play. Want to come?" He doubted she would, he should have had Jeff invite her, she liked Jeff better. Harry worried his bottom lip.
Ada thought it over for a second. It might be good to bond with the cast. She hadn't been to anything they had done as a group. At first because she was tired, and then because the days often felt like she was pulling teeth, slow pitching Harry so he could hit his grand slams, leaving her mentally exhausted.
At least a few times it was because Harry had asked. She wasn't sure if it would be just the two of them. He hadn't mentioned the shoes she returned without tempting herself by looking at them. She was hoping to avoid that discomfort all together. Alone meant she'd have to flat out say no. She would, but would rather avoid it all together.
This was everyone though. She could go. If she could get herself out of her hotel room and out of the joggers and band tees that were her uniform. Though the zeppelin shirt she had on would look good with jeans and heels. She guessed she was going, if she was already planning outfits.
Her black lace red bottoms crossed her mind, definitely going out shoes.
"I'll try."
God, he really loved her smile. It was pretty much perfect, and he felt like he knew great smiles, his was praised so often. He hoped she came.
The night was winding down, for Harry at least, and he had reconciled himself to Ada not coming.
He wasn't drunk per say, not like the night before he made Ada hate him.
But he was warm, and had another shot to get over her no show.
It was just enough to get him on stage. After urging all night. It wasn't his band. He missed his band, performing too, apparently. This was fun!
He was really warmed up by the time Smells Like Teen Spirit came on.
"Gambarimasu!" Was the first word Ada heard once she had talked herself into coming in. She'd dilly dallied and found herself starving, she'd ducked into one of the little yakitori places. But dining alone was a drag. She needed to make friends, which is what finally pushed her through the door. She was gonna enjoy her already bonded cast and crew. Find her place.
"That sounds just like Nirvana!" She looked down at the shirt she'd changed to last minute. Funny coincidence. The voice at least, the instruments were great too, but not quiet as electrifying as the voice.
Which belonged to her star.
"Well, damn!" She heard herself say, and saw Yuki chuckling at her side.
“I always wondered if those 8 years made us any different. You haven’t change a bit. Ever since we were kids… we’ve always felt right together. So this… can’t be called crossing the line… right?”
The feelings that have been long suppressed within his heart can only be expressed on a quiet night like this, slipping out in a soft murmur.
He suddenly hears her voice, and for a moment he thinks he has woken her up. He listens carefully, and realises that she’s talking in her sleep. To his surprise, she is softly mumbling his name.
“Yes. I’m here.”
He slowly closes his eyes. His soft, slow breathing is interwoven with hers, as the distance between the two of them seems to vanish.
