So, it looks like I am pregnant. I found out a little over a week ago and since then, my life has been in a tailspin. No more Toronto, no more UNLV, no more waiting for anything I guess. Everything is happening now. Although this is an unexpected and unplanned event, I am not going to lie to you, I wasn’t terribly upset when I saw the plus sign on my first test. All of my innate fear surrounding the conception process evaporated because I learned that low and behold, I am not infertile (an unfounded anguish that was born out of my parents’ conception difficulties). Apparently, it’s actually not very difficult at all! So here I sit on a cloudy August morning, reflecting on the choices I will now be forced to make and the road ahead that is just beginning to unveil itself.
I am still bummed out that we will not be packing up and leaving San Diego on an adventurous whim. Derric had been away in Las Vegas for the whole summer and when I went out there to visit him a few weeks back, the first thing he said to me was that we were now going to be moving to Toronto in January instead of Vegas in fall. The news made my head spin because we had been so dead set on leaving in two months to move to the desert. I was already prepared to ditch my current job and enroll in the graphic design program at UNLV as soon as the move was completed. I had not really wanted to leave so soon, but the plan had mentally become a reality and I was shocked to hear that all of a sudden, we weren’t doing that anymore.
Needless to say, the idea of moving to Toronto became exciting to me within a few hours of chatting with Maggie and I was really looking forward to the change. The plan was to purge the house of all of our unneeded items and I was going to finish up my manager training while working at Slater’s, quit, and then go to Derric’s parents’ house for the holidays and jet set away to Toronto just before NYE. We were going to store our wanted belongings in Las Vegas for six months while we were living, working and playing in Toronto. We were supposed to rent a 1 bedroom apartment right in the heart of downtown and we were going to live walking distance to our friends in the area. It was going to be a cultural adventure unlike anything I had ever experienced before and it was happening at the perfect time: right before settling down and having a family. Just one last hurrah before turning in our metaphoric party hats.
After careful consideration, I decided that it would be best for me to go back on the birth control pill a couple of days after we returned from Vegas, but little did we know that the damage had already been done.
