IT’S NOT JUST YOU The Problem With Self-Control I was at the #airport waiting for a flight, to #portelizabeth #bluewaterbay one of my #pastoralmeetings, when a 60-something man sat down next to me and whipped out a book. The title grabbed my attention: I’ll Quit Tomorrow: A Practical Guide to #AlcoholismTreatment. I asked him about it and immediately regretted doing so. He was clearly embarrassed by the question. He shifted in his seat and flipped the book over to hide the title. “I’m writing a book on #selfcontrol,” I told him. “That’s why your book caught my eye.” These words seemed to ease his apprehension. “I’ve been clean for years, but I’m starting to help other people who have the same issue,” he told me. What did he think about self-control? “It’s important,” he said. “But if you rely on self-control alone, you’re dead. You need a community around you. I know alcoholics who haven’t had a drop for 40 years and still go to the AA meetings.” HORIZONTAL HELP I was grateful for his input. For over a year I’d been reading everything I could get my hands on to give me a better understanding of willpower and self-control. But I’d given little thought to the role the people around us play in the process. Thankfully, this recovering alcoholic at Gate 22C set me straight. When it comes to resisting destructive habits, lone rangers are dead rangers. After that encounter, I started to read the Bible’s teaching about the topic through new eyes. I’d always seen self-control as a solitary enterprise, just one person facing off against temptation. However, Scripture paints a different picture. In fact, I started to see that it was a mistake to separate self-control and community in the first place. The people around us have a major impact on our behavior. Scripture warns, “Bad company corrupts good morals https://www.instagram.com/p/By1dTySjQa8/?igshid=9gok90aoo5fz
