#bob aus

[lewis-winters]

we, as a fandom, are honestly missing out on the absolute hilarity and angst potential of putting kitty grogan on the front line with harry welsh.

can you imagine the bickering?

[lewis-winters]

imagine, if you will, modern au David Kenyon Webster discovering fandom and fanfiction because his boyfriend, certified Fandom Old(TM) Joe David Liebgott, so happened to randomly mention it one night, while David is ranting about a show or book series gone wrong-- or, better yet, gone terribly, terribly right. And just like every story that was ever loved, he mourns its loss, and wonders, out loud, if there was a way to stay in this narrative, in this specific world, and with its characters?

Joe doesn't think when he replies; "Fanfiction, Web."

"What?"

"Fanfiction?"

"What's that?"

"... You've never--? Fanfiction! It's like. Fanart. But with stories."

And suddenly, this whole new world opens up.

anyway, this is just my long winded way of presenting to you the very funny scenario of Lieb trying to explain the mechanics of the alpha/beta/omega universe to Web.

[lewis-winters]

ok now that I think about it we definitely should talk about Dr Ronald Speirs, PhD in Classical Studies, Professor (fast track to tenure) of Latin Language and Roman History

he enters the room and instantly has all his students reciting each declension; "now, class, from the 1st declension, singular to plural, begin: A, AE, AE, AM, Ā/AE, ARUM, ĪS, ĀS, ĪS, well done. now, 2nd declension--"

then he stands at the back of the classroom with a meter stick he whacks into the nearest empty desk to make sure people are paying attention while he grills students and their translations of the most absurdly simple sentences; "once again, frūctus is 4th declension, why do you keep translating it into 2nd declension, the plural is not frūcti it is frūctūs, do it again--"

and then if you get it wrong more than three times you have to stay standing, reciting all 5-ish declensions again and again until the class is finished. and you BET he makes you do the 3rd declension twice because he doesn't make you forget the I-stem.

and that's just his Latin I class. imagine Latin II.

[lewis-winters]

winnix for the niche headcanons pleaseeeeee!! i love everything you say about them ever 🫶🏻🫶🏻

Let's do more Dæmon AU bc I can never have enough Dæmon AU.

Dick's dæmon is a female Gyrfalcon named Anahida. She's very reticent. It comes across as majestic and very self-possessed, and in some ways that is true. But she's also reticent because that's just how they were raised. I imagine it's a religious sensibility thing for them that sorta bled into societal norm. It's just polite to not acknowledge a person's dæmon. After all, a dæmon is a person's soul made physical, and talking to them, I imagine, is like barging your way into someone's physical space. It'd just be more respectful if you kept interactions between humans and humans only. Human-dæmon and dæmon-dæmon interaction is reserved strictly for family.

I imagine it might be like this in most parts of mid-century America, too.

So imagine Dick and Anahida's surprise, when not only does Lew's chameleon dæmon, Amalthea, address Anahida directly and without qualm, but Lew does, too.

It's Weird. But what's equally weird, however, is how much Anahida and Dick like it. Especially Anahida. She's been going about so unseen for so long... it's nice. To be able to talk to someone outside of just Dick.

[lewis-winters]

hello yet again!

i'm supposed to be working on my master's degree but instead i am thinking about knightley!dick saying "I should like to see Emma in love, and in some doubt of a return." do u know what i am saying here

PLS nothing makes my day more than petty!dick winters who's a lot in love and is past the point of caring-- he's just gently exasperated now. greatly annoyed, sometimes. "oh he thinks love is this trivial thing, huh? that feelings are just so easily forgotten when confronted with better prospects and time? WELL, I SHOULD HOPE HE FINDS HIMSELF IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE AND IN DOUBT OF SOME RETURN"

then it's fucking jokes on him a few weeks later and lew's emphatically declaring that they're just friends while dick is minutes away from proposing AHHAHAHAHA HOW DOES IT FEEL RICHARD

[lewis-winters]

hello again i have more

the beautifully sweet thing about winnix emma is the ending when they both think, are surely convinced, the other loves someone else and trying to be accepting for a moment because i love you and i want you to be happy and then knightley being like no no no i'm too obsessed with you ifilovedyouless perhaps i could talk about it more

that....kills me.

Honestly, that moment is why I think Emma is the pinnacle Winnix Jane Austen au, ya feel me? I've said it before, but Knightley is literally who Dick Winters would be if he were in a Regency period romcom. "I cannot make speeches... If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more," is literally so Dick Winters, it's not even funny. I know people might have their qualms about Emma!Nix, but I dare any of you to look me in the eye and tell me Dick Winters isn't Knightley. You can't!

That being said, they are both Very Stupid. Honestly, this is more in the 2020 adaptation than it is in the other adaptations, but Autumn de Wilde made it so that, from the beginning, Emma and Knightley were very much already an old married couple in their own right. They bicker and they joke around like an old married couple, and it's deliberately framed that way as they pester each other all around the Woodhouse estate. It is so so silly, and very Winnix flavored, then, for them to be unsure about each other's standing in their lives like? Guys? You are already literally inseparable. Why did you ever think the other was gonna go for someone else? C'mon, now.

[lewis-winters]

Speirs/Lipton for the hc

Ronald Speirs' drag queen persona, Mathilda Big'uns, is about half a foot taller than Lip in heels.

And Lip LOVES it.

And yes, when they go out like that, they do look like Kermit and Ms Piggy.

[lewis-winters]

How niche a ship would you like, because I'm in my feelings about Perconte/Martin. Thoughts? (Hope you feel better soon).

In my Dæmon AU, Perconte has a female weasel named Jackie as his dæmon, while Johnny has a female mongoose named Corentine as his. And I thimk they both come from backgrounds where it's very common for dæmons to interact with each other, ya know? As opposed to maybe Web's world, where there is a bit more rigidity and etiquette when it comes to human-dæmon, human-human, and dæmon-dæmon interaction.

And I think, their dæmons being of the same animal family sorta breeds a kind of familiarity between them. The first time they met, it only took seconds before small talk became bickering, and only mere hours before Corentine is picking Jackie up by the scruff and dragging her around, just as Johnny yanks and pulls and bosses Perconte around. The funniest thing is Jackie and Perconte LET THEM. If it were anyone else they might've lost a hand. But if it's Johnny and Corentine, it's fine.

But also think about that small, tiny, almost imperceptible spark that ran through them, when their dæmons touched for the first time. Jackie and Corentine touching noses, curious and intrigued, as their humans watch on with bated breath, pretending that this doesn't rattle them to their very cores one bit.