Arctic Dogs (2019)
Arctic Dogs features a stellar cast of recognizable names, which makes it that much more puzzling a watch. It’s the kind of animated feature the kids can sit through but the adults will be bored by. I suppose its environmental anti-fracking message proves it has good intentions, but there’s nothing memorable about this picture.
Swifty the Arctic Fox (Jeremy Renner) dreams of becoming a package courier for the Arctic Blast Delivery Service but his boss, a Russian caribou named Magda (Anjelica Huston) doesn’t think he’s capable. While delivering a package from his longtime sweetheart, a red fox named Jade (Heidi Klum), he stumbles upon Otto Von Walrus (John Cleese) and his plans to destroy the ice caps.
Overall, Arctic Dogs looks pretty good. It’s no Pixar or Dreamworks but in motion, this looks a lot better than the poster will lead you to believe. One look at it and I expected another Norm of the North. This isn't anywhere that kind of level. I wish I had more good things to say. This is a harmless story whose worst sin is its lack of inspiration.
There are A LOT of characters with funny accents in this picture. Why? Presumably, so the kiddies watching don’t get bored while listening to them. Magda has a Russian accent. James Franco plays a surfer dude, scatterbrained albatross. Swifty befriends two otter conspiracy theorists (voiced by Klum and Omar Sy) with French and German accents. Swifty’s beaver coworkers also apparently migrated from Europe. Funny voices make them funny I guess? I’d rather writer/director Aaron Woodley had fleshed them out some more. As is, what you see when someone walks on-screen is all there is to them.
I think you can tell what kind of movie this is. It’s got something to say about fracking but the walrus responsible for the environmental destruction isn’t a real character. No kid could associate him with a human being. Otto Van Walrus is simply evil for evil’s sake. Swifty and Jade are in love... because they started off that way. No one grows, no one changes.
Anyone who goes to see Arctic Dogs (talk about a generic title) is going to forget it shortly after leaving the theater. I wonder if Entertainment Studios realized they had a bomb on their hand and called in a bunch of favors to replace the cast they originally had with big-name actors in the hopes of luring audiences in. It's the only explanation for this many recognizable stars in a project that should’ve gone straight to DVD, or - at best - Netflix. (Theatrical version on the big screen, November 5, 2019)
