#bob plz

[artemis-entreri]

BTW I think it's really funny how RAS went "all drow have red eyes and red eyes only and purple eyes are Special(TM)" and then a solid 50% of all D&D players with drow characters and also the Critical Role design team went "no ❤️" and put purple eyes on So. Many. Of. Their. Kids. and it's glorious. Like yes reclaim the colour from Bob it's what we deserve.

[[ I meant to respond to this message shortly after I'd responded to your previous one, but then life got away from me (again) and here we are, a whole month later. So sorry about that. T_T For what it's worth, there are Asks that are literally years old sitting around in my inbox that I mean to answer ahahaha... ha ha... haa... (ಥ﹏ಥ)

But yeah, I do love how Bob's attempt to make Drizzt more special totally backfired on him. On one hand, it is probably the case that Drizzt was the only drow that people knew about and just assumed that purple was a normal eye color for drow, but on the other hand, that doesn't matter at all because the end result's the same. XD

What's pretty sad is that Gromph, a character that Bob himself uses frequently, was established early on as having amber eyes. Bob only finally acknowledged this after what, over 25 years and 30 books? I guess it isn't terribly surprising, while he hasn't always ignored FR canon as flagrantly and outrageously as he does now, even one of the earliest sourcebooks that had drow in it only said that red was the most common, but of course Bob was all like NO IT IS THE ONLY ONE EXCEPT FOR MY SPESHUL SNOWFLAKE. But yeah, regarding drow eyes in general (source: the Drow article on the Forgotten Realms Wiki):

Drow eyes could be of any color, with bright red being the most common. Pale shades that appeared nearly white of blue, lilac, pink, or silver were also frequent. Drow with green, brown, black, amber, or rose-hued eyes existed, but they were rare. Purple or blue eyes indicated surface elves and/or human ancestry. The color of a drow's eyes could also be indicative of their current mental or physical state; drow eyes reddened when they were angry, and turned yellow when they were sick, poisoned, or under some negative magical influence.

It would actually make a lot of sense for Drizzt to have human and/or surface elf ancestry, as his innate moral code makes very little sense otherwise. This enters into an entirely unrelated and very complex topic, but suffice to say, while Lolthite drow aren’t all inherently evil and are like that as a result of indoctrination, generations of breeding and selecting for a particular temperament to thrive in such a culture wouldn’t favor individuals with moral compasses. Lolthite drow are basically as different from the dark elves they started as -- heck, even from the first drow that were transformed -- as pugs are from wolves. Drizzt inexplicably has one that’s supposed to be as true as the purest paladins on the surface, where does that come from? He’s like if a pug gave birth to a full-blooded wolf. Eilistraee doesn’t exist in Bob’s world, so the only logical explanation is that Matron Malice, whom we know slept with anything and everything that moved, lost track of her lineage somehow and Drizzt was born. 

But look at me, being all silly and attempting to apply logic to Bob. In summary, I would like to present this: Drizzt is a freak, as confirmed by Chris Perkins. ]]

[artemis-entreri]

[[ TFW you want to create a fantasy word for American football and decide to use words from a real world language without understanding that language’s nuances. 

In a sense, Bob did successfully create the word “football”, however it seems that the “ball” part refers to the testicular variety of balls. 

]]

[artemis-entreri]

[[ This is about how close Bobbert will ever get to actually showing the canonically pansexual character as not straight. 

Source: Starlight Enclave chapter 3 ]]

[artemis-entreri]

The Dao of Drizzt [Salvatore, R. A., Winter, Evan] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. The Dao of Drizzt

For over thirty years, Drizzt Do'Urden has been one of the most important characters in fantasy literature. Throughout his novels, Drizzt has written down his thoughts about life and love, the nature of good and evil, the joys (and frustrations) of family, and so much more. Bound together for the first time, the collected wisdom and philosophy of Drizzt will be a beautifully-packaged gift book—complete with an introduction by bestselling fantasy author Evan Winter—for his biggest fans and readers wanting to learn about this iconic figure.

Growing up in the chaos of Menzoberranzan, one young drow elf tries to make sense of the conflict between the traditions he must serve and the protestations of his own conscience. To lay bare the injustices he sees and to strengthen his own resolve to follow the ethical call of his heart, Drizzt Do'Urden is both an agent of action and self-reflection.

These, his writings, become critical to his salvation, the way in which he makes sense of a world that to him makes little sense at all. The power of his writings, of his meditation, of his inward determination will carry him forward, forcing upon him decisions that others would consider noble, perhaps, but surely foolhardy…impossible even.

But to Drizzt, the choices are true and right, so there can be no other course.

These journal entries, then, show the struggle between tradition and truth, where the courage to choose right over wrong climbs the many obstacles of societal expectations and entrenched power—if nowhere else, then in the heart of an idealist. They were written to help Drizzt understand himself. But the universal truths will resonate with readers throughout the Realms.

[[ Welp, the thing that the hardcore Drizzt fanbois wanted is being released: a compilation of all of Drizzt’s journal entries, which range from emo at best to a toolish mouthpiece for Salvatore at worst (if not more). 

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the title just had to go the extra mile into cultural appropriation, especially with how badly he botched “fixing the racism issue of drow” with his latest book. I get that Drizzt is part-monk now, but couldn’t Bob have just left it as “The Way of Drizzt”? Why does it need to do this to Chinese philosophy? Never mind that it doesn’t fit at all in Forgotten Realms lore, did he seriously have to do this?

FFS, RAS, I swear, every time when I think you can’t sink any lower. ]]

[artemis-entreri]

[[ The cover for the next Drizzt book is revealed. THIS IS NOT A HOAX. Despite how it looks like a bad drawing for a bad fanfiction, it’s actually the official art for the next book. Source: https://thenerddaily.com/starlight-enclave-by-r-a-salvatore-cover-reveal/

My god, it’s bad. Everything about it is a fucking disaster. The “art”, the font, the text layout... all wtf. I think it’s supposed to be Catti-brie and Artemis, but holy moley, what a far cry from Lockwood’s art. Heck, what a far cry even from Briclot’s work. They both look like they’re wearing some sort of cheap fantasy/sci-fi fusion cosplay and Catti-brie’s bow looks like the Halloween prop, to say nothing about how she’s supposed to be a beautiful woman but very much isn’t. And Artemis... aye yai yai. So many issues. x_x

Given the trend that these books have been going in, at the very least, this cover will be a proper correlation for the quality of the writing. Also, the trilogy is called “The Way of the Drow” ffs. Bob’s really trying hard at the monk thing. ]]

[artemis-entreri]

larathia replied to your post “Boundless questions: Is Zak going to be the embarrassing racist...”

Honestly, I'm now more curious about the hint abt Lolth not having a say in Zak's resurrection - I knew she didn't have Zak's soul, but it seemed at the end of Boundless that Yvonnel had sent the prayer - so if not Lolth answering then who?

[[ The answer should be simple: Eilistraee, or maybe even Vhaeraun. If Bob actually cared about the rest of the Forgotten Realms and the work that a bunch of other creatives have put into it, there wouldn’t be the need for any of what’s quite honestly a load of contrived bullshit. 

However, Bob’s got a vendetta against Eilistraee because the existence of her and her followers threatened Drizzt’s only good drow special snowflake status. As such, Bob never acknowledges Eilistraee’s existence in his books, except during the Transitions where he throws shade her way by having Drizzt declare that her followers utterly failed. It’s really a shame, because having other goodly-aligned drow would make Drizzt a better and more nuanced character rather than the opposite, since there are bound to be fundamental differences between different people even if they happen to believe in a general similar thing, and exploring subtle differences is both more realistic and interesting than pretending they don’t exist. 

As it is, I suspect I know the answer of where Zak’s soul was/who answered, or rather, what answered, but it’s all speculation at this point. Nothing is confirmed in Boundless. Based on history and pattern of behavior, I doubt that Bob will finally acknowledge Lolth’s twins, but if he did, I’d be ecstatic and feel less dumb for holding out hope that he’ll improve despite consistent evidence otherwise. You know what Einstein said about the definition of insanity? That’s kinda how I feel like I am with still holding out hope for Bob. :P ]]

sunshinedoomguide replied to your post “Boundless questions: Is Zak going to be the embarrassing racist...”

And now I'm curious as to if the characterization of Yvonnel continues to ping-pong...

[[ I’ll answer this without a cut because I don’t think it’s much of a spoiler to do so. Things are consistent with Yvonnel and her characterization. :\ ]]

[artemis-entreri]

Sad about Zak not getting much development character wise. He definitely deserves better. On a different path, do you anticipate Zak and Arty ever getting much screentime together in this series? I feel like the dynamics between them, especially if Jarlaxle or Drizzt is involved, would be interesting, to sy the least.

[[  I’ve read the ARC of Boundless. Ask me anything!

If I were to guess, I’d say yes, sadly for no other reason than because Bob would realize that having them do so would generate sales, and since Bob’s becoming more and more of a sell-out with each new novel... let’s just say that should what you’d like to see happen happen, I don’t think we’d get the “interesting” dynamics that we’d like to see from it. :\ 

I could be wrong though, and I sincerely hope that I am, because as far as these books are concerned I want nothing more than for Bob to stop disappointing me. And honestly, all it takes is for him to be willing to expend the effort to like, you know, talk to actual people who’ve experienced trauma rather than making that shit up. Or, even more easily, use one of the myriad of instant messaging options to contact Ed, whom he supposedly considers a friend, and ask for a fact check here and there, instead of just pissing all over the tapestry that so many creatives have woven together. His refusal to do this latter thing especially grates on me because this is literally what ordinary fans are doing over Twitter on a daily basis and Ed responds to everything that he isn’t prohibited from revealing by NDAs.  

But no, sadly, it seems that doing basic research, which is a practice that any self-respecting writer (or anybody) should be doing is too much to ask. Sure, he’d probably argue that he’s a public figure and doesn’t have the time to do this stuff, in which case I’d raise the question of if he actually cares about what he’s doing, because just doing whatever the fuck one wants with something isn’t the sign of caring about that thing. Quite the opposite, really. ]]

[artemis-entreri]

Southern Ward

Source: Volo’s Enchiridion section of the Waterdeep: Dragon Heist official campaign supplement.

Source: Boundless (ARC) chapter 10.