#borderline adhd

[jaceisspaced]

I used to have this real strict bio teacher and whenever she saw PDA she would make them write a paper on “copulating snakes” if she caught them a lot.

Well because my borderline ADHD having self has no social filter, when she scolded me and my boyfriend for holding hands (of all things), I said...

“Did you know that snakes have two penises?”

There was an awkward oppressive silence. But I plowed forward.

“Yeah! And they use the penis they aren’t using to scoop off a rival snake and then use the other to get down with the female snake.”

More oppressive silence.

She never said anything to us or another couple ever again.

[jaceisspaced]

Every time I see a decimal I have started whispering "fake bitch" or "bitch" or a very dramatic Tony Stark style "L I A R"

Cause that's not a natural number so my brain is like that's a lie made up so humans could do more things.

So I was in my welding class calling a box I was putting together a "fake bitch, whore-faced cunt" because I had cut it wrong and now it was 5/16" instead of 1/4" and I had to file it.

Unfortunately my instructor was right there like:

".........you good?"

[jaceisspaced]

Shout out to that time my nickname was Bloodhound but not because I was cool but because I could just sniff things out.

Like I grabbed a bag of fries and was like “Stick these in the microwave for 12 secs cause they were in the fridge for *sniff* two days.” “....how??”

And then I knew when two freshmen had started dating because they started to smell like each other. I thought that they had already said something and I had just zoned out, but NOPE I just casually went like “Ya’ll are a cute couple” and then the whole “how did you know” spiel happened. “Oh ya know your smell changed.” “.....what”

Also the being able to smell when people are lying and when they’re nervous which is WILD

[jaceisspaced]

Me: * is so focused when I am asked a question unrelated to what I am doing I completly bluescreen*

Also me: How can I focus when there iS SLEEVE??!??? SLEEVES TOUCHING MEEEEEEEEE